


A Bright, Particular Star

by Rini, Saklani



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-03
Updated: 2010-03-02
Packaged: 2017-10-07 16:35:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 49,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/66984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rini/pseuds/Rini, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saklani/pseuds/Saklani
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen Ackles is an actor with a traveling troupe, who hopes to quit the female roles and start playing the leads.  But they bring in Jared Padalecki instead, so he has to continue in the skirts.  Onstage, their chemistry nearly burns down the building, but can Jensen get over his resentment and accept Jared?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meetings

**Author's Note:**

> This was Rini's idea, and what a lovely idea it is! Send the boys back to Shakespeare's time, keep them actors and see what happens. Turns out, a lot happens... We were definitely liberal with history and language, so do not look for a lot of accuracy here. We hope you'll enjoy it just the same. There are a lot of Shakespeare's quotes used, plus one by Dostoyevsky. Kudos if you can find it and tell me what it is! And yes, I know he was around a lot later... Hee.

Twere all one  
That I should love a bright particular star  
And think to wed it, he is so above me.  
(All's Well That Ends Well, 1.1.82-4)

Jensen stretched under the covers of his bed- the first bed he'd had to sleep in for many weeks and a welcome comfort. After sleeping in stables and backrooms, the luxurious accommodations at this Inn were a treat. Sighing, he tossed back the covers and padded silently over the cold, wooden floor to the sideboard. After chipping the ice enough to wash in the water on his dresser, he dropped his nightshirt to the floor and tugged on breeches and a soft linen shirt. Jensen could hear people milling about in the yard and figured it was time to find the rest of his acting troupe and discuss their new show. He was looking forward to his next role-- his first lead.

Jensen stepped into the narrow hallway and made his way down to the common room. It was already bustling with people and activity, making him smile more broadly. Their show was sure to be a success that night. He turned the corner whistling and made his way over to the group to clap John on the shoulder. "Good morrow. How is everyone?"

John smiled and pointed to a tall figure standing in the middle of the crowd. "Jensen, you're just in time to meet our new member. This is Jared. William saw him play in one of the Greek tragedies and asked him to join us. He's to be our new Romeo."

Jared, his boyish face lit up in a huge smile, stepped forward eagerly to meet Jensen. "A pleasure to meet you, Jensen. I look forward to acting opposite you."

"Romeo?" he asked, looking to John and the others. Jensen was well mannered and skilled enough to keep a smile on his face, but inside he seethed. That was his role, and he was not going to lose it lightly. "When did that decision get made? I've been preparing for tonight's show for weeks now."

Several of the troupe members had the grace to look away, abashed. They knew how much Jensen wanted out of feminine roles, though he was far better at them than anyone else in their traveling band. William beamed at Jared and then back to Jensen, oblivious. "Jensen, wait until you see what he can do. The two of you are going to bring the place down."

Jared continued to smile at Jensen brightly, oblivious of the other man's anger. "I just hope I can keep up with you, Jensen. I saw your Ophelia...that was sheer poetry even without Shakespeare's words."

Jensen flushed, nodding with a tight smile at the compliment. The sentiment was appreciated, but he was not happy with this young man entering his world and usurping his role. "I hope you can, too. Have you truly had a chance to learn all of the lines for the play tonight?"

Jared laughed and looked even more excited. "I could say them in my sleep. Romeo is how I got interested in theatre. My parents didn't approve, nor my fiancée..." He looked sad for a moment and then beamed again. "I'm fortunate to play opposite you."

"Just my luck," Jensen muttered before flashing Jared another tight smile. "Well, I shall see you in the yard for the performance then. Gentlemen," he bit out the salutation with a nod of his head, before turning his back on the chattering group and stalking out. Of all the places they stopped, this one had to be where William found a 'great talent.' Jensen kicked at a fence post as he angrily strode past.

John trotted out after Jensen. "Wait, Jensen, do not be so angry."

Stopping for a deep breath, Jensen spun on his heel with his eyes flashing. "Why not, John? That was to be my role. My shot at being done with female roles." He dropped his shoulders in dejection, frustration replacing some of the outright anger from seconds before. "Just leave me be until tonight. I promise you'll have your Juliet all tarted up and ready for curtain." Jensen turned around and walked off before John could speak another word.  
~~~~~~~~~~

Dressed in a somewhat thrown together costume (the troupe's Romeo costume had not been long enough in the sleeves, and there was not enough time to alter it for his length) Jared hurried to the stage entrance to see if he could catch Jensen. Since their brief introduction that morning Jared had not seen the other man. Jensen had skipped the last rehearsal, and the youngest member of their group, Christopher, had filled in as a rather weak substitute.

When he caught sight of a gorgeous woman standing just behind the curtain, ready to appear, Jared stopped dead in his tracks. "Oh," he gasped. "You make an even lovelier Juliet than I imagined. I won't have any trouble making people believe I'm in love with you."

Jensen stiffened at Jared's voice. The words spilling from the man's mouth grated on his nerves, and he clenched a fist in the folds of his gown. He shot a brief glare in Jared's direction before smoothing his features and gliding onto the stage to his cue.

_How now! Who calls?_

Moving through the scene with his fellow actors was easier than Jensen expected after his day of brooding. He should have known that he'd be able to easily find the rhythm. Resolutely, he kept thoughts of Jared and Romeo at bay, lest he find himself dwelling and forgetting his lines.

Jensen's glare startled, hurt and also confused Jared, as well as confused him. What had he done to anger Jensen? With a little shake of his head, he discarded his own feelings and fell into the role of Romeo. When he entered for his own first speech, he was Romeo. No trace of Jared remained in gesture or expression.

Jared could feel the audience's anticipation once they began the ball scene. He moved swiftly to Jensen's side, seeing only Juliet, whom he already loved and said,

_If I profane with my unworthiest hand  
This holy shrine, the gentle fine is this:  
My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand  
To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss._

Jensen's dialogue tripping off his tongue with practiced ease, he dipped his head and affected a light blush over the curve of his cheekbone as Juliet glanced at Romeo through her eyelashes. He held his hand up to Jared, trusting the earlier rehearsal to have prepared the man for their movements, even if Jensen had not worked with him.

_Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much,  
Which mannerly devotion shows in this;  
For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch,  
And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss._

Jensen fluttered his lashes at Jared.

_Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?_

Jared easily led Jensen into the dance steps, moving with him as naturally as if they had known each other all their lives. He responded to the blush with a warm, gentle smile.

Turning an open and innocent gaze on Jared, while they moved through the dance, Jensen continued his lines.

_Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer._

He looked the perfect picture of a pious girl, earnest in her faith, even while her body betrayed the initial stirrings of attraction this handsome man generated.

Jared heard the audience's disappointed murmur at Juliet's reply and answered her,

_O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do;  
They pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair._

In the middle of the dance Jared's movements spoke of the earnestness of his plea, the depth of his desire for the beauty in front of him. And Jensen was beautiful, there was no doubt. Bedecked in his makeup and stunning attire, Jared believed that Romeo would die for this Juliet. That _he_ would die for Jensen.

Jensen found it hard not to respond to Jared and his Romeo. The other man was definitely an accomplished actor and despite himself, Jensen felt pride in their show rising in direct proportion to the scene. He tilted his head, fluttered his lashes and murmured his line.

_Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake._

Jared stared transfixed at Jensen, everything else falling away in the spell their performance cast. He moved closer to Jensen in a graceful surge.

_Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take.  
Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged._

When Jared moved in, Jensen went still. He clung to the strong arms around him and met Jared halfway; his lips opened slightly while his eyes fluttered shut. It was a stunning kiss, like nothing Jensen had ever experienced. He stepped back slowly, not going far, and brought a finger to trace his lower lip, eyes fixed on Jared while he tried to still his thundering pulse.

_Then have my lips the sin that they have took._

Jared wanted to pull Jensen back, to experience again the electric shock that had gone through him when they kissed. Never in his life, on or off stage, had he felt such a connection. He caught Jensen's eyes, putting everything he felt into the next lines,

_Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged!  
Give me my sin again._

Jensen let himself be pulled into another embrace, his hands landing on Jared's muscular chest to act as a barrier for their second kiss. As Nurse lumbered onto the stage, he pulled away and tossed his line off confidently,

_You kiss by the book._

Turning once Nurse delivered her line, Jensen threw a final look over his shoulder to Jared and then slid gracefully through the 'exit', and around to his spot downstage left to finish his scene.

From those invigorating kisses on, Jared made Romeo the best performance he had ever given. Every word to Jensen's Juliet was spoken from the heart and soul. By the time he reached the last scene, the sight of Jensen lying still and pale made him weep real tears. He flung himself across Jensen and spoke his lines with bitter feeling, until he finally reached the end and kissing Jensen passionately, declared,

_O true apothecary!  
Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die._

Lying still, Jensen was manhandled by Jared, hauled in for a final kiss before Romeo died, slumped next to him on a pallet that was not large enough for both their large frames. He waited until his cue, rose and continued the scene with the Friar before turning back to Jared. Jensen couldn't deny that the other man was excellent and it only infuriated him more. Tossing a furtive glance over his shoulder, he reached for the dagger.

_Yea, noise? then I'll be brief. O happy dagger!  
This is thy sheath;  
there rust, and let me die._

He thrust the makeshift prop into his heart and collapsed forward over Jared, diagonally across his body, leaving his slack face open to the crowd as he followed his lover into death. Now it was an exercise in patience, pressed close to the other man while he waited out the finale. It could not end soon enough.

Jared waited until the last line and then rose gracefully, offering a hand to Jensen. He beamed at the cheering crowd, before turning and acknowledging his fellow players and Jensen in particular. He felt like doing a wild jig around the stage to celebrate their triumph. Individually, he and Jensen were good, together, they were magical. "You were superb," he said to Jensen, loudly enough that he could be heard above the applause. "The best I have ever seen."

Jensen reluctantly accepted Jared's assistance to his feet, since so many people were jostling about the stage. He gave his bows as required, clapped a few people on the back and then turned when Jared spoke to him. "Thank you," he replied. "If you'll excuse me." He nodded at Jared and then moved away, smiling sadly once for John before disappearing backstage and up to his room.

Jared frowned when Jensen left with undo haste and started after him, but was stopped by a crowd of well-wishers. He politely shook hands, smiled and signed stray bits of parchment, so that a half-hour passed before he got away. Hurrying up to Jensen's room, he knocked at the door, uncaring that he had yet to shed his costume and makeup. "Jensen? It's Jared. May I come in?"

Jensen groaned and moved to the door. He'd scrubbed his face clear of the make-up, skin glowing from the brisk waters. His hair was spiky at the front with damp strands crossing his temples. He propped the door open a crack and arched an eyebrow. "How can I help you?"

Jared smiled automatically when Jensen appeared in the doorway. "I was hoping you might allow me to buy you a tankard of ale to celebrate tonight," he said.

"Thank you, but no. I avoid the public room after a show." Jensen turned his head slightly, the light behind him throwing that side into profile. "I'm sure the others will enjoy your company and I shall see you on the morrow."

Jared held out a hand toward Jensen. "Is there some other place you might prefer to go then? I should like to speak with you, learn more of you and what you thought of tonight's performance." He widened his eyes in a plea.

"Not tonight." Jensen shook his head and closed the door a bit more. "There's not much to do here besides the public room, and I prefer to avoid the crowds."

"Oh." Jared lowered his hand and his head, the rejection hitting him hard somewhere below his breastbone. "Well, please accept my congratulations on your performance. I have never been so honored to work with another actor."

Jensen sighed. "Thank you Jared. You did a fine job as Romeo. I will see you on the morrow with the others to discuss our next step."

Jared nodded once and managed a slight smile at Jensen. "Good night, sleep dwell upon thine eyes, peace in thy breast. Would I were sleep and peace, so sweet to rest," he said and then walked away, but to his own room and not the bustling crowds that had only a few moments earlier beckoned.  
~~~~~~~~~~

Jensen smiled at John and took a tankard from William. Their show had grown in popularity, bringing in crowds and money. The only bad thing it brought was Jensen's increased awareness of Jared. As a man, he was everything Jensen wanted, and as an acting partner, Jared was more than Jensen ever hoped for. However, he fought to get beyond the fact that with Jared in their troupe he was unlikely to move beyond female roles. That still burned like acid in his throat. Jensen shook off the thought, laughing at the jokes and reaching out to snag small bites off the various platters on the table.

Jared walked toward the Inn, his mind far from the invigorating exercise regime he had just finished. His father had instilled in him from youth the importance of exercise, and Jared kept that lesson close to his heart. Of course, his father had also pictured him married to Sandra and an officer in the queen's guards, but Jared had not agreed with him in those respects. Over the past few days, though, he wondered if he would not have been better off at home.

He could not figure Jensen out. The other troupe members he befriended easily, like he did most people. He acted his heart out every night on the stage to greater and greater crowds and accolades. But Jensen refused to do more than act polite in company and distant at all other times. Except on the stage, where their kisses grew more heated, and their touches fraught with greater meaning. Or so it seemed to Jared.

He wondered if he were deluding himself in the fervor of playing Romeo. Perhaps he infused too much of himself in the role, until Romeo's feelings spilled into his on the stage? But no, were it merely that, then Jensen's continued coldness would not bother him so.

With a deep sigh, Jared pulled himself together and plastered on his brightest smile. He walked into the pub and greeted his fellow troupe members cheerfully before choosing the seat farthest from Jensen. No sense inviting injury.

Everything in Jensen tightened the moment Jared strode into the room. He cursed at himself, shifting back a pace from the table. Using all of his skill, he continued to speak with the other troupe members, laughing and joking about the night's coming show. "John, are we on the road tomorrow?"

John laughed and nodded. "Aye, heading a pace up the road. I think the next town also has a coaching inn we can stop at for a few days. I reckon we should continue with our _Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet_, seeing as how it is so greatly admired."

Jensen nodded, a quiet sigh in his throat, before he tossed back the dregs of his tankard. "If we can, I would prefer to leave a bit later in the morn. You know I shall need my sleep on the morrow." He spoke softly to John alone, the other man instantly understanding that Jensen would appear in the public room that night.

Jared ate with his normal appetite only slightly muted by his edge of depression. He knew the troupe planned to move on the next day and considered his own options. In a moment's passion he had thrown in his lot with theirs. William had seen him perform and invited him to join the moment the performance ended. Seeing a way to leave his hovering family, he accepted and found himself in his current situation.

He desperately wanted to leave on his own terms, but would miss his family, particularly his siblings. And although the troupe had made a hit with the play and accepted Jared into their ranks, he still felt an outsider amongst them-- particularly where Jensen was concerned.

Fiddling with one of the Inn's perfect pastries, Jared decided to accompany the troupe to the next town and stick to the end of their performances there. If by that time, the situation between himself and Jensen continued to bother him, he would gather his pay (and add it to the not insubstantial sum of his own) and make his way elsewhere.

Jensen looked up, glancing at Jared for a moment. He took in the other man's slumped shoulders and sighed, knowing he was quite possibly the cause. Jensen nodded at Jared, straightened and turned to stride outside. The great room was close and cloying, and he needed to get away. He slowed to a stroll when he hit the main yard.

Jared pushed away his food which tasted like ash. Apparently, all he had to do was enter a room to make Jensen leave. He marveled that Jensen managed to endure his presence night after night onstage. The true extent of the man's acting ability awed Jared. He wondered what Jensen felt while Jared trembled with excitement from their kisses... nausea perhaps? A loathing in the pit of his stomach? He'd ask, but Jensen never stayed around long enough even to insult him. "Fool," he muttered and stood, heading instinctively for the outdoors without considering that Jensen had gone in that direction not a moment prior.

Jensen walked off the morning ale, shoulders hunched while he tried to get away from his feelings about Jared. It was nigh on impossible with the man looming everywhere Jensen turned in the last few days. If only William had not seen him and invited him along. Jensen knew, though, that he'd never experience the high of acting alongside someone as talented as Jared again. It was a twisted, double-edged sword that he also found himself attracted to Jared.

Not a member in the troupe knew that he preferred men. They laughed and joked at his expense, the attention he received an embarrassment to him. On the night of the final performance, he always came round to the public room to show his face and be greeted by the crowds. It helped assure their welcome another time and kept him from facing them over multiple nights. Those times were a nightmare for him. One he spent many hours sleeping off.

Jared kept his head down when he wandered, his feet carrying him in a familiar direction. Toward the edge of town, a farmer tended a small patch of summer wheat bordered by a large elm on one side. Jared spent many hours of his youth under the elm, dreaming of where life might take him. He reached the edge of the field when he raised his head and found Jensen five steps ahead of him. With a snort of disgust, he came to a stop and said, "Could you not have chosen a different direction?" without knowing which one of them he meant.

Freezing in place, Jensen took a deep breath. He raised his head and turned around. "Jared. This is your spot, is it? I commend your taste and will leave you to it." Jensen moved slowly toward Jared, stepping to the side when he went by.

Jared caught Jensen by the arm. "Why do you run at the sight of me? Am I so distasteful to your senses?"

Jensen stopped in his tracks; Jared's hand felt like an iron vise around his arm. "Of course not. I merely wished to leave you to your privacy." His heart slammed against his ribs while he prayed Jared would not push him for anything more than that.

Jared snorted again and released Jensen. "If you were so unwelcoming of my presence, you should have told the others when first I joined. Why keep silent?"

"We run on a majority as a general rule." Jensen dropped his arm to his side and then crossed his hands behind his back. "If William offered you a chance at a job, we are all bound to give you that opportunity. You proved yourself that first night. There is nothing to protest." He stood his ground, though everything inside urged him to flee.

Jared stood to his full height and glared down at Jensen. "Suffering for your art then?" he asked. "You might at least extend me the courtesy of explaining why I am so distasteful. With the others, you are all happiness, but I need merely to enter a room to send your mood plummeting. This moment aside, I believe the most words you have spoken to me remain in the single digits."

Jensen took a step back at Jared's harsh tone. "I'm not suffering for my art, I'm doing my job. And my job is to perform on stage with you and the troupe. It is to remember my lines, to be certain my makeup and costume are just so and to help the audience forget everything else for a moment." His chest heaved once as he bit out the words, a bitter tinge to them. "My job is not to be sure your feelings aren't hurt. Isn't the job you have enough? It was everything to me, and it's gone to you instead." Jensen snapped his jaw shut, not intending the last to have slipped out.

Jared's mouth fell open once he realized the real problem between them. "You wanted the role of Romeo? You have treated me with cruelty out of jealousy?" He took a step back, torn between anger and relief.

"I did not simply want it, Jared, it was mine until William saw you." Jensen stepped back, bringing his arms around the front to clasp over his stomach. "I've been waiting years to get out of women's robes. Then you waltz in, and I shall play Juliet and Ophelia the rest of my life."

"The rest of your life? By what measure do you mark me?" Jared turned his back on the other man. "You had merely to mention this earlier, and I would have refused your friend's generous offer. You may feel no remorse for your own cruelty, but I hold myself to a higher standard."

Jensen scoffed. "Personal reasons do not matter in the business of our troupe. You were offered the chance to prove yourself, and you did. Quite spectacularly, in fact. I would not ask you to step aside. There is much at stake, and your inclusion in our troupe only makes us better." Though it pained Jensen to admit, his words were nothing more than the mere truth. "Finding someone else as talented as you would be quite the undertaking."

Jared made a strangled noise of disgust. "We leave for Bosham tomorrow. I shall keep my promise to accompany the troupe there, but shall take my leave after." He walked away from Jensen, knowing this once peaceful spot would no longer shelter him.

Jensen watched Jared go and then turned away himself. Moving only a few feet, Jensen sank to his knees on the side of the road and breathed in deeply. Jared hated him, which meant their show could be in danger. Yet, Jensen couldn't find it in him to care. He was alone again, peacefully alone, and if he sat and rocked himself by the side of the road, it was no one else's business.  
~~~~~~~~~~

Jared focused his anger into making his performance of Romeo better than ever before. He found a new way of playing Romeo- focused passion and no gentleness. Swept away by his emotions and not thinking at all. When he stepped forward to take Jensen's hand during the ball scene, he grabbed it with more force than necessary.

_ If I profane with my unworthiest hand  
This holy shrine, the gentle fine is this:  
My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand  
To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss._

Jensen jerked into Jared's arms, their hands clashing together with undue force. He could feel Jared's anger, his own sparking in response.

_ Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much,  
Which mannerly devotion shows in this;  
For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch,  
And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss._

He glided his hand up Jared's to press forward on his last line, the words falling in tense beats from his lips.

Jared led them through the dance, aware of how their hands seemed to burn where they were clasped together. Something dark stirred in his breast, even while he spoke Romeo's next line,

_ Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?_

He pulled Jensen closer, making the dance far more intimate.

Seething with emotion, Jensen arched into Jared through the lines while they moved. He growled the next line, forcing himself to put the distance between their bodies that Juliet's demeanor would require.

_ Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer._

_ O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do;  
They pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair._

Jared made his words an urgent plea, something wrung from deep within the depths of his soul, near despairing if he should be refused. A Romeo on the bitter edge of love's sword, fearing rejection and angry at himself for that fear.

Jensen stopped their dance progression a beat earlier than usual which caused Jared to crash into him hard as Juliet urged Romeo on,

_ Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake._

He tilted his head up, lips parting slightly in invitation and permission, granting Romeo everything he'd asked for and the possibility of things he'd not even dreamed yet.

Jared's free hand swept up to grasp the back of Jensen's head and pull him close. When their lips nearly touched, he said,

_ Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take.  
Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged._

and kissed him.

Jared drowned in the sensation, the racing flame that spread throughout his body and licked his nerves into frenzy. He held longer onto Jensen than he should and then finally pushed himself away.

Jensen lost himself in the kiss, responding to Jared with fire and energy, the anger and passion pulsing through his body giving him his first ever erection onstage. Jensen jerked back when Jared let him go, his chest heaving with deep breaths while he attempted to gather his control.

_ Then have my lips the sin that they have took._

The words were soft, desperate and almost pleading - Juliet teasing and begging Romeo.

Jared felt the push of Jensen against him before he let go and allowed the triumph of generating that reaction flash through his eyes.

_ Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged!  
Give me my sin again._

He pulled Jensen back, but this time kissed him sweetly, showing him how Jared wanted to treat him.

Jensen tore his mouth from Jared's, not pulling back far, so his words breathed over Jared's lips,

_ You kiss by the book._

He lifted liquid green eyes filled with desire, frustration and anger to stare deep into Jared's. When Nurse's line came, Jensen took a beat, to just look at Jared, before pulling back with a glance at Nurse and hurried to his spot down stage left. He looked back at Jared once, Juliet catching a final glimpse of Romeo, and Jensen letting Jared witness the mixture of emotions swirling in his eyes.

Jared managed the rest of the scene without knowing how, his body performing while his mind whirled. Only when he and Jensen reclaimed the stage alone for the balcony scene did he completely refocus. On Jensen. And therefore on Juliet.

_ I take thee at thy word:  
Call me but love, and I'll be new baptized;  
Henceforth I never will be Romeo._

Peering down to the stage, pretending that he could not see who Jared is, Jensen offered his line,

_ What man art thou that thus bescreen'd in night  
So stumblest on my counsel?_

He waited with bated breath for Jared's lines, still reeling from their earlier scenes and the emotions the man generated in him.

_ By a name  
I know not how to tell thee who I am:  
My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself,  
Because it is an enemy to thee;  
Had I it written, I would tear the word._

Jared meant those words, for if Jensen hated him, no matter the cause, then he was an enemy to himself. A bitter truth to face in the middle of an act of fiction. He wondered again if Jensen was as affected by their physical encounters as he. His reactions indicated that Jensen felt desire in the midst of his anger, but did he feel it as strongly as Jared? Or the niggling tenderness beneath the fire?

_ My ears have not yet drunk a hundred words  
Of that tongue's utterance, yet I know the sound:  
Art thou not Romeo and a Montague?_

His words were truer than he cared to admit, Jensen refusing to look too closely at them. He was acutely aware of Jared's presence at all times, and it burned along his skin. The last thing he wanted or needed in his life was the complication of a man he felt attracted to - the first in many, many years.

_ Neither, fair saint, if either thee dislike._

Jared would trade with John or William or any of the others, just to be looked upon once by Jensen with laughter and happiness. Even the desire that flashed through Jensen's eyes did not make up for the bitter anger or cold indifference he normally displayed.

Jensen simmered with the words, his heart hoping for their sincerity in his dealings with Jared. His brain, however, scoffed at the notion that Jared could mean anything by it, that Jared could have any kind of feelings for him. There was no future for them, not in this world.

_ How camest thou hither, tell me, and wherefore?  
The orchard walls are high and hard to climb,  
And the place death, considering who thou art,  
If any of my kinsmen find thee here._

The words Jensen spoke were buried deep in the fabric of who he was. Though Juliet asked Romeo how he scaled the orchard walls, Jensen asked Jared how he managed to come into his world, breaching through the distance Jensen maintained to keep others at bay.

_ With love's light wings did I o'er-perch these walls;  
For stony limits cannot hold love out,  
And what love can do that dares love attempt;  
Therefore thy kinsmen are no let to me._

Jared wondered if he might brave Jensen's own stony walls for love of him. Surely he could not desire a man who was, at heart, as cruel as Jensen appeared on the surface. The other troupe members were fond and even protective of Jensen and that could not be so if the man had not endeared himself to them. So why therefore was he so cold to Jared? Could it merely be that he was jealous over losing Romeo? Or did more lurk beneath the surface?

The rest of the balcony scene flew by in a blur, their dance of coming together and spinning apart leaving Jensen reeling and unsteady. An almost kiss, the mere brush of lips on lips where it should not have happened, tossed him off balance, his words more desperate and truer than ever before. It was almost over, Jensen ready to depart and with relief, he let his final speech of the scene tumble from his lips, soft and more romantic than it had ever sounded before,

_ Sweet, so would I:  
Yet I should kill thee with much cherishing.  
Good night, good night! parting is such  
sweet sorrow,  
That I shall say good night till it be morrow._

Jared's lips stung and he spoke his last lines with a bitterly amused memory of their first performance.

_ Sleep dwell upon thine eyes, peace in thy breast!  
Would I were sleep and peace, so sweet to rest!  
Hence will I to my ghostly father's cell,  
His help to crave, and my dear hap to tell._  
~~~~~~~~~~

Jensen lay slumped over Jared, Juliet's dress spread wide on their pallet once he'd crumpled from the dagger to die at his lover's side. He knew every word of the play, waited for each one to tick by, conscious of the solid, firm shape of the man beneath him. A soft blush colored Jensen's cheeks, and he thanked God for the many layers of the dress that hid his form from Jared. When the Prince's end speech came upon him, Jensen tensed his arms in readiness to spring to his feet.

_ A glooming peace this morning with it brings;  
The sun, for sorrow, will not show his head:  
Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things;  
Some shall be pardon'd, and some punished:  
For never was a story of more woe  
Than this of Juliet and her Romeo._

Jared breathed a sigh of relief when the play came to an end. Unthinkingly, he carefully stood up from beneath Jensen and offered him a hand. The audience applauded and cheered louder than ever before, having caught on to the even stronger chemistry between the leading characters.

Blinking at the hand in front of him, Jensen grabbed it without thought and felt himself pulled to his feet and into Jared's space. He breathed Jared's air, felt the heat emanating from his body. Jensen cleared his throat and stepped back, turning to the audience and sweeping a broad curtsey as he did every night in his fancy death gown.

Jared released Jensen with a tight smile and bowed to the audience. He found little joy in their accolades, knowing they cheered for his anger at Jensen. But he bowed and smiled and was every inch the professional, until he made his way backstage and then to his changing area.

Jensen watched Jared depart, some of the tension draining from his body. He knew his fellow performer was unhappy. Smiling at John and William, Jensen made his way back to his room where he took the time to cleanse Juliet from his face and body. He took longer than usual, but finally forced himself to face the crowd. It was time to make merry and let everyone who wanted to meet him get close enough to appease their appetites.

He moved from his room and followed the sounds of the merry crowd, moving down the narrow stairway until he reached the common room. With a deep breath and a swipe of his palms over his thighs, Jensen made his way into the room with a smile on his face and a thundering heart.

Jared heard a hush settle briefly over the crowd when someone new made an entrance and turned to watch Jensen walk in. His heart sped up while Jensen greeted people and ingratiated himself with the crowd. Then he snorted and turned away from the sight and back to his ale.

So many faces and names, hands to shake and people to speak with. While Jensen made his rounds, he kept Jared in his consciousness and made sure to give him a wide berth. It was evident from the scowl on his face that he was still angry and not in the mood to deal with Jensen. Not that Jensen particularly wanted to deal with him. Still, it hurt to see the other man without his general cheer.

Jared noted how Jensen managed to circumvent him no matter where he wandered in the room. Finally, tired of watching Jensen and sick of being bitter, Jared struck up a conversation with a handsome young man beside him.

Jensen noticed the moment Jared started to behave differently. His voice grew louder, booming around the room. Jensen's heart clenched when he saw who Jared spoke with- a handsome, young man and someone Jared probably knew. A bitter taste developed in his mouth, and he felt an insane jealousy course through his body. He wanted to take Jared from the other man and claim himself. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly before turning to be introduced to another man, who looked him up and down in an intimate manner. The stare made him shiver in revulsion, but he could tell the other man thought it was desire. With an internal sigh, Jensen knew he'd be fending off sly advances for most of the night.

Jared found the other man more engaging than he hoped, and they soon began a detailed conversation about the town and people they both knew. When Nathaniel gently touched his hand and suggested they go somewhere more private, Jared took only a moment to answer 'yes.'

Finally extracting himself from his unwanted suitor, Jensen smiled and moved toward the bar, just in time to see Jared's large form leaving the main room directly behind the young man. His gut clenched, and Jensen tossed back half of the local brew in one gulp before he cursed himself. "Damn," he breathed and then downed the rest of his drink. Jensen turned to John and nodded at the outside door. "I am going for a walk, John. I'm done tonight." Jensen moved quickly across the room and headed out, breathing in the crisp night air and feeling free for the first time since his fight with Jared that morning

Jensen went around the back of the Inn to lounge against one of the many trees there, but spied Jared kissing the man from the bar. His stomach clenched, and he turned away from the sight to walk blindly across the yard and toward the street. With Jared occupied, he figured he could make his way to the field and settle in for a relaxing evening.

Jared and Nathaniel stood under an old English elm, kissing and caressing each other. Unfortunately, there was no spark between them, and Jared found himself losing interest rapidly. With a regretful murmur, he pulled away and headed in the other direction.

Jared's feet carried him back toward his field, despite his prior experience there with Jensen. He figured that his last night in his hometown should be spent in the spot he once loved best. Until he looked up and discovered Jensen there. "Might you find another place and leave me mine?"

Jensen's head whipped around, and he stiffened in his spot. He nodded and then pushed himself away from the tree. "I thought I did that when I left you alone in the yard," sighing, he shook his head and jammed his hands in his pockets. "Have your spot; I shall find somewhere else to be."

"Well, it's not like I expected an argument out of you," Jared said with disgust. He headed for his tree and slumped against the trunk.

"Why would I argue with you? You asked me to leave you in peace, and I am doing that." Jensen sighed and turned back to him. "What do you want from me? I'm trying to respect you and your place here in town and in our group."

Jared lifted an eyebrow and laughed contemptuously. "Respect me? You jest."

"Not in the slightest." Jensen blinked at Jared's laugh, lurching back in response to the venom.

"Yes, not talking to me is definitely a measure of respect. And taking great pains to avoid my person goes a long way in that direction as well." Jared looked away from him and stared into the night. "Does it really hurt you that much?"

"What are you speaking of?" Jensen looked at Jared with a questioning expression on his face. "You made your displeasure with me known earlier today, so I was merely giving you what you wanted. And yes, it does… if you must know," he wrapped his arms around his stomach and hunched his shoulders.

"Well, you shall be glad to see me leave then," Jared said. "You can have the roles you want and never wear women's clothes again. Though I wonder where you'll find the backbone to play them."

Jensen spluttered at the insult, striding to Jared and getting in his face. "What do you know of me? You know less than nothing, and have no cause to say that I lack the backbone to play lead roles. Why? Because I'm a pretty face? Because I was stuck with these features and the ability to pull off female voices?"

"Your face has nothing to do with it," Jared said without flinching. "But if the way you react to merely losing a role indicates the way you handle most troubles, then I stick by my words."

Jensen stepped back, slapped by the response. "Fine. Think what you want. That is just one more reason why I do not bother." He took another two steps and then looked down the dark lane away from town. "If you leave before your agreed upon time, William and John will be hurt. Give them what you promised, and I will do my best to respect the way you feel about me. Maybe we can convince them to do something other than this play. Something where you do not have to be near me, since you find me so lacking. Good eve, Jared."

"You never tried," Jared said, stepping away from the tree and grabbing Jensen by the arm. The contact sparked something deep within him, and his hand tightened. "You judged me harshly for taking your role. I wanted to be your friend, and you wouldn't even speak to me. Every time I tried, you treated me with contempt."

"Contempt? I never-" Jensen whirled to face Jared at that, his arm crossing his body since Jared kept hold. "Am I to be perfect then? Am I not allowed my privacy and my dreams? Can I not be allowed jealousy and fear? Apparently, when I see the one thing I have ached for yanked from me, I am supposed to be sweet and thank you for it." He shook his arm violently, yanking it away to jab at Jared. "I apologize for not responding and doing what you think I should."

"I'm not to blame for this," Jared said, "and never once have you tried to understand that. I would not have accepted the role if I had known they offered it to someone else first. I would not have done that to you."

Jensen heaved a breath. "I never said you did. Never thought you did. But you never gave me breath to come to terms with the change, with my circumstances."

"So you hurt me, and I hurt you," Jared said softly. "But I did it unintentionally, and you did it with purpose." He reached out and touched Jensen's face gently. "Except on stage. We do something else there."

"I didn't hurt you on purpose. I was merely protecting myself." Jensen murmured the words softly when he felt Jared touch him. He shivered from the connection; the rasp of Jared's calluses over his skin an erotic tingle he strove to ignore. "We do. There is something on that stage that connects us, sets fire to our words."

"What are you protecting yourself from?" Jared asked, stepping closer.

Jensen shivered when Jared closed in on him. "I'm protecting myself from the pain of being relegated to the feminine parts, to finding myself replaced by you in the group. You're far more suited to be the face of the troupe. It's only a matter of time." Jensen's breath hitched, no matter how much he despised the crowds, he knew the group only kept him around for two reasons: he could perform the female roles and was the face people came to see.

"Aside from acting, you dislike crowds. I can tell, even without William having told me. Why does it bother you then that someone else might take on that role? And we can switch off lead male characters. I do not need always to be the lead. There are other things I can do." Jared stepped closer, his free arm moving to rest on Jensen's waist.

Jensen tensed and instinctively stepped back, only to find himself snug against Jared's arm. "It's - I - thought you would take it from me, that they wouldn't want or need me any longer..." His breath came in short pants, eyes blown wide as he tilted his head to meet Jared's gaze.

"You never asked. You never talked to me. All you had to do was talk to me." Jared stared down into Jensen's eyes. "I hate being angry at people. I want to be friends... with you most of all."

"Why?" Jensen asked softly.

"You know why," Jared said. " You feel it too." He tilted Jensen's head upward, the span of his hand covering half Jensen's face. "Tell me you feel it too."

Jensen couldn't say anything, his eyes trapped by Jared's and the side of his face on fire where their skin touched. Jensen shivered, his body responding, leaning in when he felt himself lost to the tide of feeling Jared caused in him. He managed the barest of nods.

Jared breathed out a soft sigh of relief and kissed Jensen. He wrapped his arms around the slightly smaller man and pulled him close. "We can talk to the others when we get back, make them understand your needs."

The kiss was far too brief before Jensen tensed for different reasons and shook his head. "We cannot -I'd never." He pulled away from Jared. "They cannot know I confided in you. It is out of character; they would be suspicious." Jensen quivered with fear, his secret on the verge of being exposed.

Confused, Jared tried to pull Jensen back. "Why can we not tell them we have reached an understanding?"

Jensen was nearly hyperventilating when Jared's words penetrated. "An understanding?" He breathed hard, staying two steps back from the other man. "Aye, we can say that."

Jared kept his hand outstretched, hoping Jensen would take it again. "Jensen? Why can they not know you confided in me?"

"They don't know, can't know about me. About this." Jensen waved his hand between them, hovering over Jared's before he placed it over the other man's palm. "We'd both lose our places with them."

"Oh." Jared nodded once slowly. "I understand. We cannot show our feelings... does that mean you keep avoiding me?"

"No." Jensen smiled. "We can be friends."

"And what, they'll not notice our sudden friendship?" Jared smiled back, his insides warming at the change in Jensen. He stepped forward again, reaching out to pull Jensen close. "And in private?"

"They may notice the sudden friendship, but they know me. They know it takes me time for me to warm up to people and will assume that it has finally come time." Jensen's hand clenched around Jared's, breath speeding up once they closed the space between them. "There can be no private, not whilst we are with the troupe. We cannot risk it."

Jared released Jensen's hand and stepped away. "You- you want to pretend there is nothing between us," he said flatly. "You want to travel together, be together and playact all the time?"

Jensen blinked at the sudden change in Jared's demeanor, saddened by the loss of contact. He brought his arm back to his side and sighed, looking away when he nodded. "If they found us out, we would lose our places. I cannot afford to lose my only livelihood. There are only so many more years before I shall be replaced anyway." Jensen crossed his arms in a self-protective gesture, returning his gaze to Jared's.

Jared shut his eyes, understanding Jensen's point, but not happy to hear that Jensen would choose his career over what they might have together. "So, I need to leave after the next town anyway."

"What? No!" Jensen stepped forward, offering his hand this time. "Please, if you stay, we can at least be friends."

"What good would that do us?" Jared asked, ignoring the outstretched hand. "Eventually, we would either give in and be caught or end up hating each other for denying our feelings."

Hearing only rejection, Jensen curled his hand into a fist and dropped it to his side. He shuttered the interest in his eyes and straightened his shoulders. "If that is the way you want it, I will leave you to your solitude and see thee on the morrow when we head out of town." Jensen turned and then looked over his shoulder. "We could have been great friends, Jared, and even better acting partners. I do not think there is a thing we could not have done together."

"Except the best thing of all," Jared said. "The only thing that really matters."

"The only thing?" Jensen asked softly. "I hardly think so. Love fades, affection wanes. But friends and partners, work and art, last a lifetime. Every person who sees us would remember us until their dying day. They would share memories of what we gave to them with all who matter. That means that we last, that what we do means something. Besides, you have yet to be on the road, and I think you would find that being tied to me would be a burden you would soon regret. I cannot be a regret for you." Jensen blinked tears from his eyes at the though. "That would be my undoing."

Jared walked over to Jensen and pressed a kiss to the nape of his neck. "I want this, Jensen. I want you." He rested his forehead against the back of Jensen's head. "Art and friendship, those are good things, wonderful things, but can they sustain us?"

"We won't know unless we try." Jensen stood there, the rigidity of his back loosening some under the comfort of Jared's head. After a few deep breaths, he turned in Jared's arms and reached a hand to cup his face. "Romeo will have Juliet each and every night we perform. Can that not be enough for now?" Jensen leaned forward to press a soft kiss to Jared's lips.

Jared's eyelids fluttered shut, and he took a deep breath, before nodding once. "I will try. For you."

"Thank you." Jensen smiled, brushing another kiss over Jared's lips and then stepping back. "Are you ready to return, then?"

Jared's eyes glittered with desire, but he shook his head. "I think I'll stay here. This is my last night in the town I grew up in. I used to spend many a night here when I was younger. It seems fitting to spend the last one here."

Jensen nodded; he respected Jared's need to be in his space for one final night. "I will see you on the morrow then? To break our fast in the Inn?" He waited for confirmation, wanting proof that Jared would be there in the morning.

"I shall be there." Jared walked back to the elm. He skidded down the trunk and rested at the base, hanging his head. He wondered where his decision would take him, and if he had made the correct choice.

Jensen turned and made his way down the lane. He was unsure what the morning would bring. So many things were set in motion now, and he could only hope that he'd done the right thing.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	2. Lovers

The third night of Julius Caesar found Jared restless and out-of-sorts. After six months of working with the troupe and fighting his attraction to Jensen, Jared felt irritated half the time and tired the other half. Although Jared took solace in being around Jensen and sharing intimacy with him onstage, the restrictions imposed on their relationship chafed.

Jensen stretched in his room, costume hung with care, and debated finding Jared for a night in the public room. More often than not, they could be found there after performances. Reaching a decision, Jensen tugged on his nicest shirt and exited his room in search of Jared.

Jared strolled around the pub, greeting people and shaking hands. As Jensen predicted, the troupe quickly made Jared their public face, since he enjoyed meeting new people and had captured near Jensen's popularity. He did not mind the duty, looked forward to it as a way to pass the time between performances and get away from his nowhere relationship with Jensen.

Entering the pub, Jensen spied Jared speaking with an obviously wealthy woman, who had attended their show that night. He smiled at the way Jared paid attention to her, making her feel as though she were the center of the world. It was a talent of Jared's that left Jensen breathless. Jensen stepped further into the room, grabbing a drink and stopping to say brief 'hellos' to the troupe before he made his way toward Jared.

Jared noticed Jensen crossing the room and politely excused himself from the conversation. Moving to a table, he sat down and waited for Jensen to join him.

Smiling, Jensen sat with Jared and handed over the second mug of ale he'd grabbed along the way. "How is the crowd tonight, Jared? People enjoying our play?" Just being able so sit with Jared sent a ray of happiness through Jensen.

"Apparently, you make a very good Marc Antony," Jared said, taking the ale with a little smile of thanks. Jensen's presence filled Jared with a mixture of happiness and pain. "Far better than my Brutus. You have been doing well with your first lead."

"Thank you." Jensen flushed from the praise, knowing that Jared passed along comments from the crowd and hoping he was of the same mind. "It's been everything I'd wanted." Though, if Jensen were honest, that was not the truth. He missed being in Jared's arms, even for a fleeting moment here and there. "Though, I hardly think it would be half so fine without you. We reach up to each other onstage."

"Well, you do seem to enjoy the speech where Antony denounces Brutus," Jared said. He sipped his ale and gazed into the crowd. "At this rate, we shall be here a month. You will get used to being the lead. Perhaps you can persuade the others to think of you as the permanent lead."

Jensen opened his mouth to reply, but then quickly took a sip of his drink. "Why would I do that?" he asked. "This has been a wonderful run, certainly, but, what would you be doing if I became permanent lead?"

"I thought you wanted the lead parts," Jared said. He set his ale down and looked at Jensen. "Was that not a large part of your ambitions?"

"Yes, it was, and this has been wonderful." Jensen smiled at Jared. "But what would you do?" A low-level panic built inside Jensen.

Jared glanced at the tabletop and then back up at Jensen. "I have been considering moving to a new troupe. This one does not need two leads. You have proven you can carry the weight."

Jensen stared at Jared, mouth working while he attempted to absorb the words. "You - a new troupe? You're leaving me?" His heart thundered in his chest while he stared at Jared. He wanted to shove back from the table and run away, cover his ears to blot out what Jared was telling him. Jared no longer wanted him.

"It was only a thought," Jared assured softly. "I know how important your career is to you and now that you have played leads, I thought you might appreciate not having competition."

"No, please do not leave me." Jensen did something he never allowed himself-- he reached out for Jared's hand. He covered it with his own, while he waited for Jared to meet his gaze. "I need my partner," he murmured.

Jared looked at their joined hands. "Partner?" he asked in genuine surprise. "You mean onstage?"

"Yes, onstage and here." Jensen gestured with his free hand. "You are the second half of all of this, the reason we are where we are. I want you here with me."

"I know you do," Jared said. He picked up his ale again and sipped. "What are we doing, Jensen?"

Jensen smiled wistfully and murmured, "I thought we were being friends and partners, creating art through our work. Together."

"You are satisfied with the way things are, Jensen?" Jared asked, fiddling with his mug.

Taking a moment to ponder, Jensen shook his head. "Are you asking me if I wish things could be different? Aye, I do. But they cannot, so I am satisfied that what we have is a good thing."

"We are good friends," Jared said, "and working with you is better than any acting I have done before." He paused and stared into Jensen's eyes. "But there is no other future for us."

Jensen nodded, the smile slipping from his face when he realized the truth of this and that it made Jared unhappy. "It is not enough for you, is it?" He pulled back his hand and set it in his lap, ale forgotten.

"I want to be able to love you," Jared said, "and hold you close. Being near you all the time, knowing you feel the same way, hurts me, Jen."

Jensen whipped his head around to make sure that no one heard and then sighed. "I am in the same situation. Every part of me aches to have you close, but it would be far worse if we were apart."

"I do not think I can forever put my heart on hold for you, Jen," Jared said, speaking even more softly in deference to Jensen's nervousness. "I do not wish to live a life without love, even if I must lose my career."

Sighing, Jensen pushed the ale away from him and nodded at Jared. "I was afraid you would not be content with this, with me." Sadness settled in his eyes, and Jensen felt his heart break. "I wish I could be what you want and need, but I cannot give you anything more of myself. You have every part of me already."

"You love me then?" Jared asked. The ale shook in his hands, liquid sloshing over the edge.

"Aye, I do," Jensen whispered.

Jared leaned forward, eyes intense and yearning. "Jen, does your love for your career really outweigh your love for me then?"

Jensen looked away, denial ready on his lips. "It's not just my career, Jared," he sighed and looked back, tears in his eyes, "but my life. I lost everything once for love. Was ripped from all who were supposed to hold me dear. You are asking me to give up everything."

"Your family is gone. My family is gone. Who else do we have but each other?" Jared pressed his suit.

"Your family is not gone. They would take you back in a moment." Jensen rubbed a hand over his face. "What do you propose we do, Jared? How shall we support ourselves, feed and clothe and house ourselves? Without our work, how can we do any of those things?"

"We can be discrete," Jared said. "It is possible to keep a relationship away from the others. But do you really think they would force us to leave, Jensen? Do you think that little of them?"

Jensen shook his head. "Can we go somewhere else? I would rather we did not continue this conversation here. Please."

"I do not need a reason to be alone with you, Jen," Jared said with a smile. "I shall go outside now, and you can follow me. There is a small hillock behind the inn where we may be... safe."

"I shall meet you there in a few moments, Jared."

Jared nodded at Jensen, finished his ale in a relaxed fashion and headed for the exit.

Waiting long enough to be discrete, Jensen finished his ale and smiled at the patrons who stopped to congratulate him. The accolades were good, well received, but tonight, he wanted nothing more than for everyone to disappear so he could go to Jared. Jensen made his way through the crowd and out the door. He never noticed the rest of their troupe watching him with fond smiles.

Jared sat at the base of the small hill, staring out at the river in front of him. He waited for Jensen with growing anticipation. He put together all his arguments to convince Jensen to allow them to have more than a platonic friendship and decided that if Jensen would not be convinced, he would find himself a new home. The idea made him ache.

Jensen took a breath when he made his way across the yard and down the lane. The hill sat bathed in moonlight, and Jensen's heart caught in his throat. It was not nearly as private as he would prefer, though a sight more private than anywhere else. He approached Jared, glad his friend had chosen a darkened area off to the side. "Jared," Jensen murmured, once he settled on the ground next to him.

Jared did not hesitate, but leaned in and kissed Jensen the way he had wanted to for six months. He did not linger long, but pulled away before Jensen had the chance. "Hello."

"Hello." Jensen sighed at the kiss and smiled at Jared. He had no idea what else to say, so he reached out and took Jared's hand with his own.

"We were talking about us," Jared said. "About more between us." He ran a finger down Jensen's cheek and then kissed his nose.

Jensen chuckled at the kiss, lashes fluttering against his cheeks as he curled his hand around Jared's face. "We were." Leaning in, he pressed a kiss to Jared's lips, soft and slow in a way they'd never been able to do onstage.

Jared wrapped Jensen tight in his arms and deepened the kiss. He tried something a friend had mentioned once and slipped his tongue inside Jensen's mouth.

Groaning his encouragement, Jensen placed his hand behind Jared's head to tilt him slightly and keep him close. He kissed and kissed, gasping for air and diving back in again for long, drawn out moments.

"Please, Jensen," Jared said, resting his head against Jensen's. "We should have this always." He slid his hand under Jensen's shirt to stroke warm skin. "I love you so much."

Jensen jumped at the touch, moaning when he felt Jared's hand ghosting over his skin. "I love you, too, Jared." Jensen rolled his head against Jared's, breathing hotly over his ear and pressing kisses to the soft skin beneath.

Jared sighed and pressed Jensen into the ground, wanting to do things he had never done before. "Jensen. Jensen, please. Want you."

"What do you want?" Jensen trembled beneath Jared, arms curling over his shoulders, while he pressed hot kisses under Jared's jaw.

"I- I never-" Jared also trembled with a mixture of want and fear. "Jensen." He cradled the other man, instinct guiding him to straddle Jensen and push them closer. "I just want."

Jensen thrust into the downward grind of Jared's hips. "Oh. Jared." Using both of his hands, Jensen dragged Jared's mouth back to his to kiss him, while they rocked together on the ground. "More, faster."

Jared obeyed Jensen, trying to get closer with every sharp jerk of his hips. Pleasure unlike anything he ever felt before spread from their points of contact and spiraled until it encompassed the very heart and soul of him. "Jensen," he cried, wanting his friend, his lover, to ground him.

"Shh, Jared. I am here, my love." Jensen writhed against Jared's body, letting one hand glide down his back to rest at the top of the soft swell of his ass. He used the pressure to grind them harder together.

Jared caught Jensen's mouth with his and reached down with one hand to find the spot where their bodies touched. He ground his hand into Jensen's erection and then stopped. "Let me see? Please?"

"Jared!" Jensen cried, arching into Jared's hand. He blushed in the moonlight, caressing Jared's face. "You want to see?"

Jared flushed to match Jensen's own blush and nodded once. "I've imagined. So many times, Jen. Please." He slid off to the side and stroked the bulge, eyes wide and pleading.

Jensen grunted and groaned, hips rolling, before he finally dropped his hand to cover Jared's and move it off his body. "All right. Allow me." He breathed out and reached down to unfasten his breeches.

Jared waited eagerly, unable to help himself and slipping his hand over Jensen's. When they finally got the breeches pulled open, he reached in and pulled Jensen's cock out. His fingers stroked eagerly over the hard flesh, testing the weight and solidity. "You're lovely."

"God's blood, Jared." Jensen groaned and rolled his hips into Jared's hands, cock slipping and sliding through the easy, gentle grasp. He reached out and clamped one hand tight on Jared's shoulder to ride out the pleasure.

"Is this right? Do you like this?" Jared asked worriedly. He tried all the things he liked and hoped they worked the same way for Jensen. "Want to make you feel so good."

"Yes. Oh, yes." Jensen trembled, arching and writhing into Jared, while tugging the other man over him. He pressed hot, open-mouthed kisses to Jared's lips. One hand curved around Jared's throat, his thumb tracing the edge of his firm jaw.

Jared wanted to take his time, explore Jensen thoroughly, but his lover's excitement spurred his own. He stroked fast and hard, watching Jensen's expression hungrily between kisses. "Show me, Jen. Show me everything. Please."

"Wait, Jared. Stop." Jensen arched into Jared's hard strokes, body trembling and falling apart fast under Jared's touch. He reached for Jared, wanting to stop him, so he could catch Jared up. But with one sweep of Jared's fingers over the head of his cock, it was too late. Jensen came, cries muffled by Jared's mouth.

Jared watched the completely open expression on Jensen's face when he let himself go in orgasm. "Mine," he whispered fiercely. "Oh God, Jensen, you're mine."

Jensen shook and clung to Jared, the words sending bolts of pleasure through him even while they left him slightly unnerved. He kissed Jared, hard and thorough. "I love you," he murmured.

An intense wave of protectiveness swept over Jared as Jensen lay in his arms, body relaxed from his orgasm. "Jen, please tell me we can be together like this forever. I do not think I can live without you."

"Forever, Jared." Jensen curled on his side and reached up to pull Jared's mouth down to his. "Now, 'tis my turn. I want to see you, Jared. Touch yourself for me, please."

Jared blushed, a deep shade of red, but rolled on his back and quickly removed his breeches. Shutting his eyes, he took himself in hand and stroked. His fingers lingered over the vein, around the head and on his balls.

Jensen added his hand to Jared's, touching the spots he abandoned. Reaching up with his other hand, he cradled Jared's face and pressed kisses to his eyelids and lips. "Look at me, Jared. So beautiful. Open your eyes for me."

Jared forced his eyes open and looked at Jensen. "I- I cannot... help me, Jensen. Please. Touch me. Make me yours." He tangled one hand in Jensen's shirt and pulled him down to rest forehead-to-forehead.

Pushing Jared's hand to the side, Jensen curled a fist around his cock and stroked him base to tip before twisting over the head. "Mine, Jared. You belong to me." He pressed hot kisses to Jared's ear, murmuring soft words of love and praise and setting up a fast, hard rhythm.

"Yes. Yes. Yours." Jared turned to find Jensen's lips and kissed him, gasping for breath. His legs spread further apart, opening himself up to Jensen's exploration. "Jen. Jen, I've heard- inside?"

Jensen nodded and then pulled back gently. "Next time, Jared. We have plenty of time to try anything you want." He leaned in for another kiss, stroking Jared faster and harder. "Let go, Jared."

Obeying Jensen felt natural and right, so Jared threw back his head and came. By the time he finished, Jared felt completely exhausted. "Jen... next time?"

Watching Jared, knowing his response was a direct response to Jensen's ministrations made Jensen groan softly and press kisses to Jared's cheek and brow. "Yes, Jared? Next time, what?"

"There will be a next time?" Jared asked hopefully. He wrapped one hand around Jensen's and held it tightly. "We can be together?"

"We will do this, Jared. Though, we must be careful." Jensen gripped Jared's hand tightly, bringing it up to kiss the knuckles.

"Was this careful?" Jared asked, smiling up at Jensen. He pulled Jensen into his arms and kissed him. "I was afraid I would have to leave."

"Careful enough for tonight." Jensen grinned and returned his kisses. "I never want you to leave. Not ever, Jared."

Jared rubbed his nose against Jensen's. "I do not want to leave you. I want to stay with you forever. One half of me is yours, the other half yours- mine own, I would say; but if mine, then yours, so all yours."

"But if it is mine, then yours, so all yours, as well." Jensen chuckled and kissed Jared lightly, before tucking him away and fastening his breeches. "We must return now. I will slip in the back and up to my room. If you go in the front and have another drink, no one will suspect."

"Must you go now?" Jared asked, sitting up and grasping Jensen by the arm. "Why such haste?"

"It is late, and our absence will be noticed. If they come looking for us... we cannot be found together." Jensen leaned in and kissed Jared hard, tongue sweeping in to taste and offer reassurance.

Jared sighed and pulled Jensen deeper into the kiss. "I shall be unable to sleep tonight. I shall stare at my walls and think on you. On this. On being your lover."

Jensen flushed hotly, a grin on his face when he pulled back. "You must sleep, for we must shine bright tomorrow eve. People will be expecting our best." He leaned in for another hot kiss, before pulling back to clean and fasten himself up.

"If I must. I will do my best for you, Jensen. But I hope tomorrow you will not put such warmth into your denouncement of Brutus." Jared leaned back against the hill and sighed in contentment.

Jared laughed. "But of course I will. And then tomorrow eve, I will kiss away the words under the stars." He kissed Jared again before rising to his feet and looking down at the wanton form of his lover. "Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow." Turning, he strode to the rear of the Inn and slipped up to his room.  
~~~~~~~

Jared looked around the room and set his small trunk down in a corner. He walked over to the bed and tested it out. "Well, this is a nice room." Looking toward the door, where Jensen stood, he smiled brightly. "Do you not agree?"

Jensen bit his lip and looked about the room. "It only has one bed, Jared," he whispered, looking back over his shoulder as though someone would magically appear. "We are to share the whole schedule?"

"The others are sharing beds, too," Jared pointed out, leaning against the headboard. "Why should we be different?" He spread his legs invitingly.

What Jared said was true, and Jensen took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "It shall certainly give us a measure of privacy," Jensen smiled, leaning against the door.

Jared vaulted off the bed and pressed Jensen into the wood with a deep kiss. "My Jensen. Finally, I shall be able to hold you through the night as I have always wanted. And we can make love in a bed."

Thunking back into the door, Jensen met Jared's ardor with his own, groaning at the thought of spending the nights wrapped in each other's arms. A bed being available for their love-making was a bit more unnerving. He'd managed to keep Jared at bay about intercourse by claiming he wanted a bed. Now, he'd not have any reason to refuse.

Jared's hands roamed freely for a moment, squeezing the perfect shape of Jensen's ass, before he pulled away with a groan. "I shall have to work doubly hard to concentrate on my lines tonight. Knowing that you and I shall be wrapped together in this bed tonight will make work seem much more like work than the pleasure it usually is."

"At least you shall have me in your arms on stage. You do remember that we are performing Taming, do you not?" Jensen waggled his eyebrows at Jared, staying pressed to the door.

"I get to take you over my knee," Jared teased. "Give you a royal spanking."

Jensen wriggled in place and grinned. "Aye, that you do." He chuckled and then pushed away from the door, tackling Jared to the featherbed, thighs splaying wide over Jared's hips. "You get to teach me my place."

"You know your place... by my side. Just as that is my place with you." Jared caressed Jensen's cheeks and then down his broad back and over to settle on his ass again. "I want you."

"I want you too, Jared." Jensen arched into Jared's hands, pressing back and then rolling forward to grind them together. Much as he tried to resist the lure, Jensen was helpless in the face of Jared's passion.

Jared smiled and bit gently at the skin just below Jensen's collar. He could not mark the skin, no matter how much he wanted, but did like to administer love bites. "I want to make love as men make love," he whispered. "I want to know that with you."

"Tonight," Jensen whispered, the promise thick and rich on his tongue. His mind whirled, knowing that the performance tonight was going to be an exercise in patience. "Tonight you will feel all that love is."

Jared rolled them over so he looked down into Jensen's eyes, searching them intently. When he saw what he needed, he smiled and kissed Jensen tenderly. "I must have known when I decided to leave home that I was going to find you. And that you would be my home."

Jensen's heart hitched in his throat at Jared's words. He smiled tentatively and reached up to trace the tips of his fingers over Jared's face. "I am glad that we found our home in each other."

"I am honored to be your home. " Jared reached down and cupped Jensen gently. "And your pupil."

"And I am honored to be your home and teacher." Jensen chuckled and then twined their hands together. He removed them from his body with a mournful sound. "We ought to head down for the noon day meal. The rest will be looking for us and wondering at our delay."

Jared sighed and rolled off Jensen. He still fretted at Jensen's insistence on their being careful about every little move. "I do not believe they will worry too much over a few moments' delay. They shall think we are adjusting to our quarters."

Looking down, Jensen flushed and pushed himself to his feet. He knew that Jared was more than likely right, he could not help the worry. Their life together was still new and fragile, and he could not bear the thought of losing Jared. "You do believe I love you?" Jensen asked the question without looking up from the floor.

Jared reached out and tilted up Jensen's chin. "Yes, I do. I could not bear to be with you otherwise." He brushed a kiss over a warm mouth and then increased the pressure to sink his tongue deep inside.

Jensen responded, wildfire burning through him once he arched into Jared's body to return the kiss. Tilting his head, he pressed deeper into Jared, hands clenching on Jared's hips while his thumbs stroked lazily over hipbones. "You are my heart."

"Mmm, must we leave this sanctuary?" Jared asked, kissing over Jensen's cheeks, eyelids, nose and mouth.

"We must. You know we are expected below." Jensen smiled fondly at Jared before he stepped back and began to straighten his clothing. He knew it would take more than a few moments for the flush on his face and the swell of his lips to subside, but that could be explained away as long as they were not seen leaving the room together. Looking over Jared, Jensen felt a swell of love for him. "Tonight, my Jared."

"Twill never come fast enough for me," Jared said, sinking back down on the bed. "I shall be in agony all day 'til it comes."

"As will I. Now, are you coming below with me? We could perhaps go for a walk after our meal." Jensen did his best to compromise with Jared, to show him how much he was loved.

"You go first. I need a moment to myself. I should be in no state to hide my love for you, if I left now. My face should speak my heart, despite my talents."

Jensen smiled and moved to the door, his hand heavy on the handle when he forced himself to walk away from the temptation of his lover. "See you in the common room, then." He slipped out the door and closed it behind him with a soft click, before taking a deep breath and making his way to their meal.

Running happy thoughts of the night to come through his mind, Jared drifted to sleep and missed luncheon completely. But he could not bring himself to care.  
~~~~~~~~~~~

The 'Taming of the Shrew' was one of Jensen's favorite female roles. Katharina's spit and fire drew him in, though he'd never truly enjoyed the end until tonight. He was most of the way through her final soliloquy, eyes glued to Jared while he breathed the words.

_ My mind hath been as big as one of yours,   
My heart as great, my reason haply more,   
To bandy word for word and frown for frown;   
But now I see our lances are but straws,   
Our strength as weak, our weakness past compare,   
That seeming to be most which we indeed least are.   
Then vail your stomachs, for it is no boot,   
And place your hands below your husband's foot:   
In token of which duty, if he please,   
My hand is ready; may it do him ease._

"Why, there's a wench! Come on, and kiss me, Kate," Jared said and pulled Jensen to him for a loving kiss. He brushed a gentle kiss over his nose, before he pulled away and William and John spoke their lines. Eyes shining in delight, he kept hold of Jensen's hand and said, "Come, Kate, we'll to bed. We three are married, but you two are sped. 'Twas I won the wager, though you hit the white; And, being a winner, God give you good night!" Jared led Jensen off the stage.

Jensen had told the others that he did not wish to face the crowds and would retire straight from the show to his room. Since it was commonplace, they merely nodded. Now when Jared led him off the stage, Jensen knew he could escape with ease. "Not much longer now, Jared. Curtain in a moment and then we can be gone. Did you make excuses to the others?"

"My sleeping through luncheon made the excuse of being tired reasonable," Jared whispered, stepping back from Jensen reluctantly. "I find it hard to believe that soon I will be..." He swallowed hard and took a deep breath before walking back out on the stage to take his bows.

Trembling in his place, Jensen waited a beat and then followed Jared to the stage. He swept in as usual and moved to the center front for a formal curtsey to the audience, before melting back into the crowd of actors on the stage. Moving through the crowd, Jensen smiled and nodded at everyone before he slipped out the door with a final glance to Jared.

Jared did a quick sweep of the room to thank their audience before making his apologies and heading up. He knocked once and then entered, leaning back against the door. "Jen."

"Jared." Jensen jumped a bit, standing in the bottoms of his sleepwear and nothing more. He clutched the towel to his chest, hiding much of himself, while he used the edges to wipe his face dry and remove Kate's make-up. "You were quick."

"I felt like it took forever," Jared said, stepping away from the door and crossing over to Jensen. He gently removed the towel and stroked the warm skin of Jensen's chest. "I have never really gotten to see you before. Not more than a glimpse in our hurried exchanges."

Jensen trembled once the towel was removed, his body on display for Jared in the candlelight. He tangled the fingers of one hand in the material of his pants, looked down and blushed. "You are still dressed," he murmured, for lack of anything more to say.

"You could help me out of the costume," Jared said, caressing Jensen's chest. His fingers found a nipple and toyed with the small nub.

"You want my help?" Jensen chuckled before moaning low at Jared's gentle caress. "I can do that." He stepped in closer, tilting his head to match their lips in a kiss, while he untied the vest and slid it off Jared's broad shoulders. Jensen couldn't help but drag his hands over the firm muscles beneath.

Jared tossed it to the floor and pulled Jensen to him, chest-to-chest. He lifted Jensen to his toes and deepened the kiss. When he pulled back for a breath, he leaned his head against Jensen's and sighed. "Please, Jen, I want to see all of you."

"We'll get there, Jared. I promise you that." Jensen reeled from the kiss and reached down to tug at Jared's shirt until it was clear of his pants. He ran a hand under the hem until his fingers encountered warm skin over the taut muscles of Jared's stomach.

Jared sighed and lifted his arms so they could work the cloth free. "I have waited too long already. How many times have we managed to be together in these weeks? So often thwarted by the public or obligations or-" He stopped and did not add by Jensen's fear.

Jensen leaned in and kissed Jared's lips. "Shh, we'll get there. We have all night. And a bed." Smiling as he pulled back, Jensen tossed the shirt to the ground and then leaned in to press a hot kiss beneath Jared's left ear. He made his way down, kissing and nibbling all the way to Jared's collarbone, while his hands skated over the heated body.

Jared moaned and lifted his chin to let Jensen have access to his throat. "Please, Jen. Need to get the rest off. Boots..." He could not manage to make the rest of his plea comprehensible.

"Anything for you." Jensen pulled back and walked Jared to the bed, hands trailing over his body. He pushed hard enough on Jared's chest to make him fall and bounce on the bed and dropped on his knees to slowly remove Jared's boots and socks, hands trailing up Jared's legs.

Jared looked down at Jensen and smiled as his lover tended to him. When his boots and socks were off, he reached out for Jensen. "Come here, my love. Please."

Jensen surged to his feet, coming close enough for Jared to touch, while he dragged his hands up the soft material encasing his thighs. Jared was almost nude, and Jensen wanted that badly. He wanted his lover stretched out before him. "Want to see you naked, Jared. Want to feel you."

Jared pulled Jensen on top of him and kissed (him) hungrily. "As do I, Jen. Been dreaming about it for months." Jared spanned Jensen's back with wide hands and rubbed the warm skin. "Love this."

Laughing when he tumbled on top of Jared, Jensen wriggled against his lover and returned the kisses. The feel of Jared's hands splayed over him made Jensen shiver. "Feels good to have you touch me."

"I'll touch you always, if I can," Jared promised. He found a piece of skin along Jensen's shoulder that would always be covered and sucked a love mark into the skin. His fingernails skimmed over both nipples before pinching.

Jensen cried out at the mark, arching into Jared's hands on his nipples. He breathed out a mixture of pain and intense pleasure when his lover teased him. "Jared," he moaned, head tilting back while he curled his hands into Jared's shoulders.

"Did that hurt?" Jared asked worriedly, soothing both shoulder and nipples. "I don't ever want to hurt you, Jen."

"No. God no. Intense." Jensen shook his head and slammed his mouth over Jared's, pressing in with his tongue while he writhed on top. Forcing his fingers loose, Jensen dragged the nails of one hand over Jared's chest and twisted a nipple between them. He wanted Jared to feel how good it was.

Jared groaned into Jensen's mouth and bucked wildly underneath him. He opened his mouth completely to Jensen and allowed himself to be ravished. His own hands clutched and stroked warm skin, before finding Jensen's ass and grabbing hard.

Jensen trembled, hips thrusting forward when Jared grabbed his ass. "Oh God," he breathed, once he tore his mouth from Jared's. "See how good it is?" He chuckled low and harsh, his thumb arcing back and forth over the nipple. Without pausing, he slid down Jared and laved his tongue over the same spot.

Jared's back arched helplessly into Jensen's mouth at his nipple. "Oh. Oh, Jensen... how- how do you know how to do that?" He pulled Jensen away from his nipple and kissed him softly.

"It doesn't matter." Jensen kissed Jared equally as gently and then pulled back to stare down at him. "Did you like it? I want to make you feel good."

"Yes, I like it, Jen. Anything you do I will like. I just-" Jared paused and looked shy. "Everything I know comes from a few books, boyish whispers and you." He slipped his hands under Jensen's pants and enjoyed the feeling of warm, silky skin.

Jensen kissed Jared, soft and slow. "I am glad, Jared. We will see what we like together." He looked away, a flush rising on his cheeks. "I -uh- the only time I have done something was with a boy from home. He was older and more experienced."

Jared nosed at Jensen's neck and inhaled the rich scent. "You are all I have ever had, all I ever want. My family wished to marry me to Sandra, and she did her best to make me desire her. But despite what everyone thought of her beauty, I never could think of her as anything but a friend." He kissed Jensen's pulse. "But one look at you... as cruel as you were, and I ached."

Jensen flushed at the mention of his cruelty. He certainly had not been that way on purpose, though he knew he hurt Jared. "I am glad that you wanted me, that you were able to tell me." He rolled to the side, turning Jared with him before propping himself up on one elbow. "So beautiful," Jensen murmured, while he traced his fingers down the side of Jared's face. "Will you take off your pants for me? I want us to be bare together."

Ducking his head shyly, Jared lifted his hips and tugged off the complicated breeches and underthings. He spread his legs and lay back on the bed so Jensen could see all he wanted. He kept his eyes averted, a blush over his skin, but his cock stirred and lifted with interest.

Struggling out of his own clothing, Jensen did not immediately notice Jared's shyness. When he stopped to stare and saw his lover looking away, Jensen urged him to turn his face, so they might regard each other. "There is nothing here to be embarrassed about, my love. You are beautiful to look upon, every bit of you." Jensen pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

Jared blushed darker at the gentle words and pulled Jensen in for a deeper kiss. Immediately aware of the sensation of warm skin pressed against his own body, he pulled back to admire his lover in the flickering candlelight. "You were made by the hands of the Gods," he breathed, drinking in every inch of bare skin and rippled muscle. He reached down to wrap long fingers around Jensen's cock and stroked a few times.

"Oh!" Jensen moaned when Jared stroked him, hands clutching tight to Jared's shoulders. "Your touch is my undoing." He extended one hand to curl around Jared's cock and stroke him in time. Jensen wanted them to experience everything together.

"Mmm." Inspired by Jensen, Jared gently removed Jensen's hand and wrapped his own fingers around them both. He stroked slowly and gazed into Jensen's green eyes. "Do you like that, Jen?"

"Yes, so much." Jensen gripped Jared's side, hips canted forward when Jared stroked them together. The way Jared's cock caught and dragged at the underside of Jensen's made him groan and writhe for more.

"Should I- should I make you finish this way?" Jared asked, breathless around his own moans.

Jensen shuddered at the suggestion, his body rearing up against Jared's. "We can do whatever we want tonight." He wanted Jared to lead them, to take what he wanted and give what he wanted.

Jared stilled his hand and looked seriously into Jensen's eyes. "What do you wish?"

Jensen chuckled and tugged Jared in for a hot kiss. "I want you to try things and feel things. Do what you want, my love."

"What I want-" Jared hesitated and slid a hand over Jensen's ass. "I do not know how to do what I want. But there are other things..." He pushed Jensen on his back and reared up above him to admire. Finally, he bent down to feast on his lover's body.

Writhing against the mattress, Jensen's hands trailed over Jared. "Yes, oh yes. We can do that. I can show you. But," he breathed out, crying out when Jared bit down on his nipple, "what other things do you want?"

"This. I want this," Jared said, sucking at the small nub. "I want to touch you and know you and make you cry out for me." He switched to the other nub, nursing until the whole area was slick.

Jensen trembled and cried out again, hips hitching up to drag his cock along the lean, hard surface of Jared, while Jared's mouth shot bolts of desire from nipple to cock. He tossed his head back, rolling it on the bed while he dug crescent marks into Jared's shoulders.

Jared exalted in the reaction Jensen made to his attentions and trailed down his belly, trying to find what spots brought more delicious noise and thrusts. Suddenly, he found himself eye-level with Jensen's leaking cock. He swallowed hard when the sight and smell flooded his mouth with saliva. Curious, he slid a finger through the moisture on the tip and tried it on his tongue. Which led to his licking the whole area.

Crying out, Jensen reached down to burrow a hand in Jared's hair. He pulled his lover back, keeping him from being able to touch for a minute. "If you keep that up, I will not last, Jared. I will not be able to control myself." Jensen breathed out, chest heaving while he stared into Jared's intense gaze.

"I would like to see that," Jared confessed. He reached for Jensen again, wanting to go back to the treat he had been enjoying. "May I?"

"If it is what you want." Jensen released Jared's hair, hands dropping back to the bed and tearing at the sheets, while Jared flicked his tongue over him again.

Jared grasped Jensen's hipbones and stared at the lovely erection he had been licking. Ever more curious, he edged forward to slip the very tip in his mouth and suckle, eager for Jensen's response.

It took every bit of willpower Jensen had not to slam his hips into the wet heat surrounding him. He cried out, whimpering and shoving the heel of his hand against his mouth to muffle his sounds. "Please," he moaned.

The reaction seemed positive, so Jared inched forward and took a little more inside. He had no idea what he was doing, but he tried to use his tongue while he sucked.

Jensen cursed lightly, eyes screwed shut at the way his body undulated against Jared's. He could hardly believe his lover had sucked on the tip, but now, Jared's mouth slid down, and it was all Jensen could do not to fall apart as he tore at the sheets.

Jared slid off with a wet pop and then dove back down, breathing through his nose. This time, he hollowed his cheeks and sucked as hard as possible, enjoying the taste and scent and feel of Jensen in his nose and mouth.

The rasping tongue and slick pressure were too much; Jensen arched his back off the bed when he cried out and came into Jared's mouth. The only warning he could give was the sharp tug of Jared's hair, while his fingers tightened in response to the rush of pleasure.

Jared spluttered and choked on the thick rush of fluid in his mouth, before swallowing desperately. He managed to handle most of Jensen's outpouring, though some leaked out the sides of his mouth. When he finally released Jensen, he wiped the slick off his face and lapped it up contentedly. Sliding back up, he stroked Jensen's face tenderly.

Jensen's chest heaved with his unsteady breath, hands clutching at Jared once he was back by his side. He pressed a soft kiss to Jared's throat and trembled while he murmured apologies into the skin.

Jared kissed back, face crumpled in confusion. "Why are you apologizing, my Jen?" he asked, silencing Jensen's words with a finger pressed over his lips.

"Because I came in your mouth. I did not, could not, warn you." Embarrassment rolled off him in waves, and Jensen buried himself against Jared's side to hide his shame.

"Was that a bad thing?" Jared asked, nuzzling Jensen's hair. "I did not mind, my love. In fact, I enjoyed the sensation... except mayhap for choking a little."

"You did not mind? Truly?" Jensen pulled back to look up at Jared, stricken eyes scanning his lover's face for the truth. Though he'd heard men whisper about women who did this, he'd never thought he would ever feel it.

"I was surprised... but I should like to try it again." Jared's eyes gleamed with excitement. "You seemed lost in me at that moment, lost in the pleasure I could give you. I never knew that was possible..." He flushed a becoming shade of pink.

Jensen looked down again, bashful and timid. "I'd heard of such things, but never thought to feel it. You would do it again?" He looked up through his lashes, a smile on his face as he curved one hand behind Jared's neck.

"I have never even heard of them," Jared confessed with a laugh. "If the sensations are as pleasurable to you as they appeared, I would be most remiss as a lover not to share them with you." He kissed above Jensen's eyelashes.

"Only if you like them, too." Jensen's eyes fluttered shut and then he lifted his chin to catch Jared's mouth with his own. Once he rolled their bodies together, he felt the long, hard length of Jared's cock pressed tight to his hip. "But you," he moaned when he pulled back. "We need to take care of you."

"I do," Jared whispered, hips bucking into Jensen a little. "I like everything relating to you." He shut his eyes and buried his face in Jensen's throat. "How?" he whispered.

Jensen turned to bury his nose in Jared's hair, eyes sliding shut. "How do you want? I could... do that, take you in my mouth." He blushed and pressed a kiss to Jared's temple. "Or you could put yourself inside me."

Jared shivered at the thought of both ideas and pulled Jensen closer. "What do you want?"

"Everything." Jensen chuckled and nosed at Jared's cheek. "Do you - do you want to be inside me?" He curled his hand around Jared's cock, stroking gently while watching Jared's eyes.

"Yes, Gods, yes, Jen," Jared said, thrusting up into the teasing hand. "But- I do not know how. "

"I will show you. Just relax for a moment. I will be right back." Jensen pressed a series of soft kisses on Jared's face and then pulled from his arms. He moved across the room to rummage through his bag and find the oil he had bought in the last town. When Jensen turned to face Jared, he smiled. "We will need this."

Jared looked at the oil and then up at Jensen in confusion. "What do we do with it?"

Jensen blushed again when he crawled back on the bed and into Jared's arms. "You will need to put it inside me and on yourself." He curled into Jared's arms and kissed him softly. "It eases the way for you."

Jared felt and looked stunned, before kissing Jensen with intense passion. "Will it hurt you?"

"It can. But not if we use oil and go slow." His first time had hurt, but Jensen knew it didn't have to be that way. "It will feel amazing."

Jared swallowed hard and reached out to stroke Jensen's ass with his right hand. "How do I proceed?" he asked around the lump in his throat.

"Take the oil." Jensen handed over the bottle, curling Jared's hand around it and then pulling him close for a kiss. "You will need to dip your finger in and then put that finger inside me." Jensen pressed another kiss to Jared's lips and then rolled away from Jared onto his stomach. He pulled his knees slightly under him and lifted his hips.

Jared stared at Jensen on his stomach, ass bared for his attention. He scooted up and pressed his cheek against Jensen's spine. "Why- can- I want to watch you, Jen. Why are you on your stomach?"

Jensen sank into the bed, Jared's touch a comfort. "'Tis easier for you to prepare me."

"Oh." Jared bit his lip and uncorked the oil bottle. He dribbled the liquid over his fingers and Jensen's ass. "I- I'm going to try now." Parting the cheeks, he touched the newly revealed ring of muscle. His fingers seemed too large for the entrance, let alone his cock.

"I am ready." Jensen pressed back into the fingers poised at his entrance. "Go ahead, love. Just use one and push it in slowly." Jensen writhed a bit, thighs spreading slightly.

When his fingertip breached Jensen for the first time, Jared released a breath he did not even remember holding. "Is that all right?"

Nodding, Jensen breathed out and wriggled slightly at the feeling. "Yes, that is good."

Jared eased his finger deeper, trying to spread the oil around as much as possible. He felt quite the fumbling fool, since he really had no idea how to please Jensen this way. His own erection waned a bit when he considered the idiot he might make of himself.

"Ooooh," Jensen breathed out a moan, his body rolling into Jared's finger. He turned his head to the side to look at Jared. "More, please."

The second finger slid in with much more difficulty than the first. Jared wiggled to try to get them to fit properly and then paused. "Jen... I do not think this is working."

"It is. Add more oil." Jensen pushed his ass back on Jared's fingers. "It just takes a little time." He spread his legs wider, pulling his right thigh up and open.

Jared's eyes tried to pop out of his head when Jensen exposed himself further. Unable to resist, he bent down and pressed a kiss on either cheek. And then, curiosity as strong as ever, he licked a stripe over the area where his fingers remained buried.

Jensen jumped high, crying out and rocking back into Jared's fingers and mouth. "Oh, God," he moaned, digging at the sheets.

Jared jerked back before Jensen smacked into his nose and pulled his fingers out at the same time. "Oh. That was- that was a good noise," he said. Putting his hand on either cheek and parting them, he pressed his face into the space and began to perform a more thorough exploration with his tongue.

The reassurances died on Jensen's lips, a keening sound escaping instead as he felt the slick heat of Jared's tongue press where his fingers had been. He rocked into Jared's mouth, murmuring a series of 'ohs' with every flick of his tongue.

Jared's tongue slipped at one point and the very tip pierced Jensen. He pulled out immediately and went back to licking, but his curiosity again drove him onward, so he slid the tip back inside and wiggled. He drove the tongue as deep as he could manage, although the oil tasted strange.

"Jared!" Jensen cried, the syllables drawn out when his breath rushed out of his lungs. He'd never imagined such a sensation, slick and firm pressing inside. The delicate flutter of Jared's tongue on his nerves had Jensen throbbing hard against the mattress.

Jared pulled away with a last kiss and then doused more oil on his fingers and over Jensen's slick muscle. With a little more courage, he drove both fingers deep inside and tried to widen the passage for his cock. "Please, Jen, tell me when you are ready. I cannot tell."

Jensen nodded and whined high in the back of his throat. Jared's fingers were easier now that he'd been loosened with his tongue. "Another - I think you will need to add another." He looked at Jared, reaching back to stroke his cock gently. "You are a large man."

Jared gasped and nearly lost control of himself. Gritting his teeth and breathing through his nose, he nodded in answer to Jensen. His third finger took work, but eventually, all three slid smoothly in and out. "Jen?"

"Yes, God, yes. I am ready, Jared. Please." Jensen rolled his head on the bed, hips pushing back into Jared's hand while he whimpered with desire. He needed to feel Jared stretching him wide open.

Remembering what Jensen said earlier, Jared literally doused his cock in oil and fumbled to find the correct position. When the head of his cock touched the small opening, he froze in sudden terror. What if he did this wrong and hurt Jen? What if Jen hated having him inside? What if he was too big? His hands clenched and unclenched around Jensen.

"Please! Jared, need you. Please." Jensen pressed back, hands under his body as he arched and prayed that Jared would fill him soon.

Unable to refuse the pleas, Jared pressed forward into Jensen. The first push met resistance, but then muscle parted, and Jared entered a bit faster than was his intention. His nerves screamed at him to move and move now, but he forced himself to inch inside, making sure Jensen was comfortable, until he was fully seated. "Jensen... oh God, Jen."

Jensen groaned low in his throat, a half growl, once Jared was all the way in. Panting and trembling, he pressed his hands into the bed and pushed into Jared. He tilted his head back before he moved forward and then back again to rock himself on Jared.

Jensen started the rhythm, but Jared caught on and soon led the speed and depth of his thrusts. He tried a variety of movements, learning what pleased them both. Never had he known such pleasure. If all the fires of Hell swallowed them for their love, he knew it would be worth it for this one perfect moment.

Once Jared found the rhythm, Jensen let himself be moved with the occasional push back for a harder thrust. He wanted more; there was something his body ached to feel.

Jared reached around to take Jensen in hand and stroke him in time with their thrusts. He acted purely on instinct, wanting his partner to share the pleasure. The angle of his hips changed slightly, and he brushed over something deep inside Jensen.

His head slammed back and, Jensen screamed his pleasure while he came, spurting over Jared's hand. Jensen's body trembled and clamped around his lover, drawing everything he could from Jared while he fell apart.

Jared sank his teeth deep into the junction of Jensen's shoulder and neck, spilling inside his lover. His hips jerked and jittered their way through the most intense sensations of his life, until they finally released him. He slumped down against Jensen, pushing them both into the bed.

Jensen grunted when Jared splayed over him, his lover's hand caught between him and the bed, while they both lay gasping for breath. He finally opened his eyes and turned his head to nuzzle Jared.

Jared gently pulled out of Jensen and rolled over to the side. He lay on his back, one arm thrown over his eyes.

Turning to look at Jared, Jensen bit his lower lip, brow furrowed. The way Jared sprawled away from him with his face buried made Jensen worry. "Jared?" he asked tentatively.

"Leave the dead in peace," Jared mumbled, before lifting his arm off his eyes and smiling at Jensen. "Is it always like that?"

"I cannot say. It was only my second time and far better than the first." Jensen blushed and ducked his head, before looking at Jared through his lashes. "I have never felt that way before."

Jared scooted over to wrap an arm around Jensen and kiss him. "Next time, we shall see if being inside of me is as powerful to you as being inside you was to me."


	3. Lovers 2

Jensen blinked up at Jared, curling into his side for another kiss. "Really? You think it might be?"

Jared looked hurt. "You disagree?"

"Oh, no." Jensen chuckled and brushed a kiss over Jared's nose and then his lips. "It is just that you made me feel so amazing that I cannot imagine anything being as good."

Jared blushed and kissed Jensen, pulling him closer. "How did I live without you?" he asked. "Without love." He stroked down Jensen's body possessively.

"You did not know it was an option." Jensen hummed softly, moving into Jared's space and tangling them together. "I did not know it was possible- to love someone like this."

Jared caressed Jensen everywhere his arms could reach, reveling in the freedom to hold and touch and love him. "I dreamed of you though." He pressed a kiss to Jensen's mouth, before murmuring into it, "And to think we might have lost this."

Jensen flushed, knowing it was he who nearly caused them to lose their love. "I am glad that we did not miss it." He ran a hand down Jared's chest, fingers trailing softly over the still warm skin. "It would have been a shame to not have this together." Pushing himself up, he slanted his mouth over Jared's lips to nibble and lick and devour him.

Jared felt his body try once again to stir in response to Jensen. He sighed and pressed his face into Jensen's neck. "Perhaps we can always find inns that have too few rooms."

"Would that it were possible, Jared." Jensen breathed in the scent of Jared's hair, pressing gentle kisses to the crown of his head as they curled around each other in the bed. "We have a fortnight here."

"Would that we two might be wed and entitled to spend every night of our lives together," Jared said softly. "Tis strange that people who do not love are often pushed to be wed, but those like us, who truly love, are banned from it forever."

Jensen gave a solemn nod. "Not only are we not permitted to wed, but we are not permitted to be together at all. Surely, we are not alone in our thinking, our feeling, our need. It is unfortunate that any are denied their heart's desire." He leaned in for another sweet kiss. "At least we get to pretend it upon the stage." Jensen's eyes danced with wicked humor.

Jared snorted and chewed on Jensen's plump lower lip. "We have not pretended from the first. There was always fire between us when we were onstage." He slipped his tongue inside Jensen's mouth and bore him into the pillows.

Rolling until Jared was over him, Jensen curled his arms around his lover's back and let himself be kissed breathless.

Jared pulled back, dragging his teeth over Jensen's lip. "I would tear off those fine costumes you wear and claim you for the audience's approval. But I am jealous of you and would not want any to see what I see now."

Jensen blushed and buried his nose in Jared's throat. "I am glad of your jealousy. I would not want others to see us. This is for the two of us alone." He pressed a kiss to Jared's throat, just below his ear.

Jared growled and pushed himself up to look down at Jensen. "You would not like to be displayed then? Shown off for your beauty?"

"Not in the nude like that." Jensen dipped his head again, blush rising fast and hot over fair skin. "That kind of exposure would be too much, I think. I prefer to be for your eyes only."

Jared purred and began another long exploration of Jensen's body, pressing reverent kisses to each part. "I like what my eyes behold. Each and every inch."

"Do you now?" Jensen chuckled and writhed under Jared, his body arching and melting into the touches and kisses being lavished on him. "I feel selfish taking all of this pleasure from you." He stroked his hands down Jared's back, from nape to the sweet curve just above his ass and then he dragged his hand down to cup Jared and tug their hips together.

"Why selfish?" Jared asked, thrusting lightly against Jensen. "How selfish? Perhaps I am selfish for wanting so much of you."

Jensen groaned, hips arching and meeting Jared's. "I should be giving back to you, making you ride the waves of pleasure you have shown me." Flexing his hands, Jensen dug his fingers into the solid flesh of Jared's body.

"You do give back to me," Jared sighed and plunged his tongue into Jensen's mouth, his hips picking up a slow, sweet rhythm.

"I do?" Jensen gasped the words, rolling his hips into Jared, cock hardening while he slid along the groove of Jared's hip. He dragged one arm up until he held onto Jared's shoulder to keep him close.

"I take great pleasure in giving to you, almost more than receiving," Jared confessed, kissing and then sucking at Jensen's ear. "How many times can one go in a night?"

Chuckling, Jensen pressed his head into Jared with a soft groan at the thrill it sent through him. "I have no idea, but I think you and I might have the ability to do this again and again. How many times do you want to go?"

"Until I can go no more," Jared said. "But I think that may never happen." He rolled on his back, pulling Jensen with him. "Give me pleasure?"

"What would you like?" Jensen grinned and pressed a flurry of kisses across Jared's cheek before leaning into his ear. "What would please you, my love?" he purred.

"I should like to know what you feel like inside me," Jared said, tugging Jensen into a kiss. "I want to be thus claimed."

Jensen pulled back, eyes wide with pleasure and nerves. "Are you certain?" His hand trembled when he reached up to cup Jared's cheek.

"If you have the energy for it tonight, my Jen. If not, I can wait. Your mouth or hand are enough for me. But should you be so inclined..." He trailed off, eyes wide and inviting, before wantonly spreading his legs.

Jensen smiled at Jared while stroking over his lover's ankle. "My partner. In art, in love and in life." He bent down to press a kiss to the inside of Jared's knee, tongue snaking out to taste and tease just behind the crease. "I want to taste every bit of you." Sliding his hands down to Jared's ankles, Jensen pressed his legs open wider and dipped his head to kiss the other knee as well.

Jared breathed out and sank into the bed, letting his whole body sprawl. "Whatever you want of me, Jen. Anything."

Jensen nipped gently at Jared's knee, bending his leg to a greater angle and pushing it to lay flat. He nibbled and licked his way from knee to hip and back again, hands moving and stroking and gliding over Jared's lean body. Finally, after tormenting his lover, Jensen leaned in and drew a long swipe with his tongue from the base to the tip of Jared's cock.

"Ohhhhhh," Jared moaned, eyes rolling to the back and hips stuttering. "Please... again, Jen." He pushed upward toward the tantalizing tongue that worked along his erection. Now, he understood Jensen's reaction. All he could think about was Jensen's mouth on his cock.

"Shhhh," Jensen breathed over Jared's cock before dipping his head to stroke his tongue over Jared's balls. The musky scent and taste was pure Jared, and Jensen moaned before he lapped at the skin again, over and over until he had to pull back for breath.

Jared watched Jensen through hooded eyes, chest heaving. "What are you doing?"

"Tasting you," Jensen murmured. "Does it not feel good?" He thought the sounds Jared made were pleasurable ones, but perhaps he was wrong. "I can stop."

"No." Jared reached out to reassure Jensen. "Please continue." He arched even further off the bed.

Jensen chuckled and bent his head again, this time dragging his tongue in the crease of Jared's thigh. The spot where it joined his hip was soft and warm, begging to be tormented. Turning his head, Jensen made another broad swipe of his tongue up Jared's cock. He pulled back slightly and curled one hand around the base so he could tease and lick the head.

Jared uttered a series of ever more incomprehensible noises, squirming, gasping and thrusting in a mindless way. He felt asea in pleasure, mind cast adrift by Jensen's attentions. Jensen knew all the right ways to touch and tease, until nothing made sense except the sensations from the tongue on his body, the hands on his skin.

Leaning back to watch Jared squirm, Jensen slid one hand up Jared's body to rest over his heart. The rapid thumps made his own pulse speed up, and he looked into Jared's eyes. "I love you, Jared." Leaning down, he brushed a kiss over Jared's lips and then scooted his body to the end of the bed. He buried his face between Jared's legs to slide his tongue over the hidden entrance to his body.

Jared bit down hard on his lower lip, causing it to bleed slightly, but keeping a wild yowl from shaking down the roof and waking the neighbors. The wet, hot tongue bathing his most intimate spot overloaded an already charged brain and shocked his nervous system.

"Jared," Jensen breathed his lover's name once he pulled back, stroking his hip and pressing kisses to his thighs. He knew how powerful those feeling were, the rush and slam of pleasure when it stole over your body. Turning back, he used his thumbs to spread Jared wider and lapped at the hole before pressing in.

Jared keened on a register seldom heard by human ears and pushed desperately at Jensen. Jensen managed him with expert finesse, until Jared sobbed and begged wordlessly for him to give him more. He thrashed mindlessly on the bed, unable to control his body.

Jensen rode out the waves of Jared's pleasure, taking his thrusts in stride, while he gripped tight to his lover's hips. Licking and pressing in with his tongue, he teased and tormented Jared until his lover writhed helplessly. Jensen pulled back and bit gently at Jared's thigh. "You want more, my Jared?"

"Want you," Jared managed through pants. He widened his dilated eyes to full pleading force, about the only control he could exercise over himself.

"You can have anything you want." Jensen fumbled in the covers for the bottle of oil until his frantic fingers curled tight around it. He opened the bottle and poured some into the palm of one hand. Rolling his finger in the oil, he stroked ever so gently down the crease of Jared's ass to tease at the entrance and slick that part first.

Jared watched while Jensen administered to him tenderly. He wanted to demand more and faster, but settled for letting Jensen set the pace. In that dim, logical part of his brain still trying to function, he wondered if Jensen meant what he said about 'anything.' Would he give up his career for Jared?

Stroking softly over the tender skin of Jared's body, Jensen coated the finger with more oil and pressed lightly into the resistance. "Let me in, love. It will feel so good." He pressed forward, and Jared's body opened around his finger, sucking it deep inside. "So gorgeous," Jensen slid his finger in and out, turning it gently until he could feel Jared relax. He pulled his finger out and coated two of them, stroking over the hole and pressing lightly until Jared accepted both.

Jared forced himself to relax against the strange intrusion. His first instinct was to reject the probing fingers, but he remembered how much pleasure Jensen derived from the touch and fought against the urge. And when two slick fingers bumped something deep inside him, he came with a startled cry.

Jensen eyed Jared hungrily, mouth watering while his lover trembled and twitched through orgasm. Seeing him spurt all over himself made Jensen moan and lick him clean. He groaned at the first taste, fingers still sliding in and out, faster and faster. Lifting his head, he looked up at Jared. "Do you want more?"

Jared struggled to feel Jensen's fingers inside him, even though his body wanted to collapse in a sated heap. He managed a weak nod in response to the question, knowing the most intimate part remained. With a groan, he started to roll on his stomach, as Jensen had done.

Placing a hand on his hip, Jensen curled his fingers to hold Jared in place. "Stay. I want to see your eyes." He pressed forward, three fingers gliding in to stretch Jared wider. His fingers slid out, slick and easy, and he coated himself in oil. Leaning up and over Jared, he poised his cock at Jared's entrance. "You ready?"

Jared gazed up into Jensen's eyes and smiled. "Yes."

Jensen settled himself on one arm and guided himself into Jared. Sweat dripped from his brow, while he tried to ease in slowly. He let out a breath once he felt the head of his cock slide all the way in.

Jared groaned in mingled pain and pleasure. His chest heaved while he opened to take Jensen deep. "Hurts," he said, fists tightening in the bedclothes.

"We can stop. I will stop." Jensen held himself rigid above Jared, body trembling as he waited for his lover's decision. He knew it hurt, just as he knew it would get better. But this was Jared, and if it was too much, he would rather stop than hurt him more.

Jared reached up to pull Jensen into a kiss. "No stopping. Just... slow." He smiled and lay back against the pillows again.

Jensen nodded rapidly as Jared stretched out, gulping when his body's shift clenched him tight around Jensen. "Alright," he whispered, voice a strangled croak. Pushing forward slowly, Jensen breathed out and studied Jared's face for any sign of pain.

Gritting his teeth, Jared tried to ignore the pain. He wondered how Jensen had managed his first time. A red haze settled over his eyes and darkened the further Jensen seated himself.

Stopping once he felt and saw Jared tensing, Jensen reached out to stroke his lover's chest. "We can stop, love. I do not want to cause you pain." He leaned down to brush a soft kiss over Jared's lips. "There is no saying we have to do everything tonight."

"I do not wish to leave you unfulfilled," Jared said, body trembling. "Please do not give up on me, Jen."

"I will not hurt you. There are other things we can do." Jensen wavered above Jared, body trembling with need, but mind conflicted by Jared's obvious pain.

Jared shook his head and lifted his hand to touch Jensen's face. "Please, keep trying. We shall get there together."

Jensen blew out a strained breath and nodded. He moved his hands slightly and hitched his hips forward, the glide in easier, but he was still concerned for his lover. "This feel all right?"

"Feels strange," Jared confessed, "but no longer as painful." He reached down and touched where they joined together. "And the idea of you inside me... is worth a little discomfort."

Jensen disliked that Jared felt uncomfortable, but pressed in, slow and steady until his hips rested flush against Jared. Jensen leaned in for more kisses, licking Jared's lips and stroking the edge of his shoulders with his thumbs.

Opened completely, Jared wrapped both arms and legs tightly around Jensen and arched his neck invitingly. The pain melted into a feeling of completeness, something much deeper than the sheer physical pleasure of before.

Dropping kisses along the column of Jared's throat, Jensen started the slow glide out, though he only went a little way before pressing in again. He was determined to move slow and steady and bring pleasure back to Jared's body.

Jared instinctively pushed against Jensen. His hands scrambled on Jensen's broad back. "More," he whispered.

Jensen groaned when Jared pushed back into him, head dropping into the crook of Jared's neck, where he licked and nipped at the skin. "So perfect, love."

"Am I?" Jared asked, pushing into Jensen. "Am I enough for you, Jensen?"

"You are everything." Jensen moved faster and started a quicker rhythm. Jared met his thrusts, though Jensen could tell that the overwhelming sensations had not yet returned. "You are all I want."

Jared kissed Jensen, wishing he believed him. His body worked with Jensen's now, pleasure beginning to build and add to the emotional completeness. "Oh," he said, after Jensen bumped that spot inside him.

"Is that good?" Jensen noted Jared's expression and tried to angle his hips to hit the same spot, thrust after thrust. He shifted his weight to one hand and curled his free hand around Jared's cock, trying to stroke him back to hardness.

"Yes," Jared said, burying his face in Jensen's neck. "So good, Jen. Love you so much." He wished he could do more than cling to Jensen and react mindlessly to the hand at his cock and the press of Jensen inside him.

"Love you, my Jared." Jensen stroked Jared's cock, quicker and with a tighter grip while he hardened. Knowing that Jared enjoyed himself allowed Jensen to relax, and his cock glided in and out, quicker and smoother and hitting Jared's sweet spot on nearly every stroke.

The words spurred Jared to thrust upward hard to meet Jensen's down strokes. He could scarcely credit the noises he made -moans, grunts, ear-splitting howls- in response to the pleasure Jensen gave him. A second, even more shattering orgasm built up, until he felt desperate to finish before he expired.

Jensen tucked his head into Jared's throat, mouth open while he moaned and groaned with pleasure. Jared's responses set fire to his blood, and Jensen thrust fast and hard, relishing Jared's meeting him stroke for stroke. Jensen shifted his weight and curled his fist around Jared's cock to stroke him to completion.

Obeying instincts he did not know he possessed, Jared twisted his head and sank his teeth into Jensen's shoulder, biting down while he shook through climax. He tasted the salty tang of blood in his mouth, enhancing the experience on a primal level. With a last shiver, he collapsed, releasing Jensen's shoulder.

The bite, the way Jared shuddered and Jensen's own desire wrenched a scream from him when his orgasm crashed over him mere seconds after Jared's. Hips stuttering and heart pounding, he trembled over his lover, pulsing inside his body before collapsing on top of Jared with a soft 'ooof'.

Jared stroked and soothed Jensen with gentle hands, exhausted by their latest efforts. "I am sorry for biting you, Jen. I do not know where the urge comes from." He pressed a soft kiss to the wounded area.

Wriggling into Jared, Jensen tilted his head for Jared to kiss the wound. "I like when you bite me, Jay." He blushed and pressed his face back into Jared's throat to hide. Jensen braced himself and pulled slowly out of Jared's body, slumping to the side and curling around him.

Jared husked a soft laugh and pulled Jensen into a sweet, lingering kiss. "We shall never sleep at this rate. And tomorrow, I shall not be able to touch you at all when I spank you... if I can even sit down."

"We should sleep," Jensen murmured, pulling back from the kiss. "We are both well exhausted, but I would not find it amiss to wake in the morning and feel you inside me again." Flushing again, Jensen forced himself to keep his eyes on Jared's.

"I am tired and ready for sleep," Jared said, "but I am also alive and awake. Having shared such an experience with you makes me wish to go out and share with the world." He kissed Jensen's flushed cheeks one after the other. "Are you sure we cannot tell the others?"

Jensen panicked, clutching Jared and shaking his head. "No! Please. I- I do not want to jeopardize us." He curled in even closer, pushing one leg between Jared's.

Jared sighed and rubbed Jensen's back soothingly. "As you wish, my Jen. I do not think you have as much to fear from them as you believe."

Pressing a few soft kisses to Jared's collarbone, Jensen released a breath and willed his heart to slow. "It will not be thus forever. I promise."

"Jen, tell me how it will be," Jared said, tasting and kissing the skin within reach.

"Someday, we will have a home of our own with a garden. We will live there together, just us and take care of each other for always." Jensen shivered at the touch of Jared's lips, spinning his dream around them.

Jared smiled and buried his head in Jensen's shoulder. "I wish that day were soon. For such a dream, I would give up all else."

Jensen stroked Jared's side and breathed out slowly. "We have to be sure we can sustain it. It would hurt more if we had and then lost it."

"Will you tell me who has hurt you so, my Jensen?" Jared asked, eyes sad.

Nodding his head, Jensen burrowed into Jared for the comfort. "It is not a terribly long story, but a familiar one, I suspect." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "My mother caught me in bed with a man and told my father. He tossed me out. I had little money and nowhere to go. I was all alone in this world until John and William took me in."

"And what of your... lover?" Jared asked, heart clenching at the idea of Jensen being thrown into the street. "Did he not stand by you?"

"No, he did not. James was my tutor and older than I. My father offered him money to stay quiet and disappear." Jensen shrugged, but turned his head and breathed in the scent of Jared to ground himself. "I never saw him again after that day."

"I understand now why you are so reluctant to speak of this to anyone," Jared said. He pressed tender kisses to Jensen's forehead, before tilting his head up to kiss him more firmly. "But I would ask you to have more faith in me, my Jen. Do not judge me by the way others have treated you."

Jensen kissed Jared back, pouring everything of himself into. "It is not you whom I do not trust. I am afraid of what others will say or do...of how that would affect us."

"My parents never realized that I was interested in other men, but they expressed dissatisfaction with my choice of career and refusal to marry Sandra," Jared said. He cupped Jensen's chin and kissed him tenderly. "But whatever they said of me, I refused to give up the theatre or marry someone I did not love."

"You are brave, my love. I wish I had your strength." Jensen kissed Jared lightly before snuggling in even closer than before. He stifled a yawn against Jared's shoulder and closed his eyes. "Sleep now. More talk and love in the morning."  
~~~~~~~~~~

Jared leaned back against a haystack in a field full of them and stared at the starry sky. He wished Jensen would hurry to his side, but knew his lover needed to navigate out of his costume and make the half-mile journey down the dark road. Ever since they had shared a bed for a glorious two weeks, their forced separation vexed and agitated both men. The few moments they stole when both got away from the troupe merely enflamed, never satiated, their need for each other.

Jared wanted to confess all to the troupe and let things fall as they would, but Jensen remained adamantly opposed to the idea. The mere mention drove him away from Jared for days. So, Jared allowed things to continue as they were, but chafed ever more at the restraints Jensen imposed on them both.

Jensen hurried through his change, traces of the make-up still at the edges of his face and hair damp from his hurried ablutions. They had little time together these days, and Jensen craved every moment. Making his way out of the Inn, he snuck through the back door to avoid his troupe members and headed down the road to the field they'd chosen, knowing Jared would be waiting for him.

The night was beautiful, wrapping him in warmth and a stunning black sky while he walked. Jensen rounded the bend and threaded his way through the trees at the edge, looking for signs of his lover in the field.

Jared sang softly, his voice neither strong nor beautiful, but pleasant enough in the quiet night. He settled back even further into the hay, watching while stars twinkled and shimmered above him. When he heard a rustling nearby, he called, "Jen?"

"Jared," came the reply, after Jensen turned toward the sound of his voice. He'd heard the singing, but in the field of haystacks, it was hard to pinpoint. "Keep talking to me, love, and I will find you," Jensen called into the darkness.

Jared smiled and began to recite,

_My love is as a fever, longing still  
For that which longer nurseth the disease,  
Feeding on that which doth preserve the ill,  
Th' uncertain sickly appetite to please.  
My reason, the physician to my love,  
Angry that his prescriptions are not kept,  
Hath left me, and I desperate now approve  
Desire is death, which physic did except.  
Past cure I am, now reason is past care,  
And frantic-mad with evermore unrest;  
My thoughts and my discourse as mad men's are,  
At random from the truth vainly expressed.  
For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright,  
Who art as black as hell, as dark as night._

Jensen grinned at Jared's recitation, waiting for his lover to finish before moving straight into his arms for a heated kiss. He pressed Jared back, bodies flush and slipped a thigh between Jared's to hold him tight. Jensen ravaged him with a desperate hunger to taste and take everything he could.

Jared responded with equal passion, tempered with a hint of sorrow that they were forced to meet in deserted fields to express their love. He spread long fingers over Jensen's back and held him close, before pulling away with a wet sound. "I have missed you, though you have been by my side for the past twelve days. Yet, we have not once been able to be more than friends and fellow actors."

"We have our moments, and it will not be thus forever. I promise, my love." Jensen's whisper was feverish, his desire to reassure Jared heartfelt. Though Jared counted those twelve days as an eternity, they were such a short span of time in the scheme of life. He glanced down and took a deep breath, knowing that his words were not what Jared wanted to hear.

"Each day that passes makes it that much harder to wait," Jared sighed, brushing kisses over Jensen's forehead. "I wonder sometimes if ever you truly wish to be together. All the stolen moments make the rest that much more difficult." He shut his eyes and breathed in of the night air and Jensen. "Perhaps we should cease them."

"I –" Jensen swallowed and stepped back from Jared, head hanging. "If that is what you want, my Jared, I shall respect your wishes. I have no desire to make your life difficult." He wrapped his arms around his stomach and willed away the tears.

The instant Jared saw Jensen's distress, he pulled Jensen back into his arms and kissed him sweetly. "No, tis not what I want. Forget I spoke. I did so without thought. If life now is a bit less than I should wish, life without you would be a misery. Not worth the living."

Jensen unwrapped his arms from his own body and threw them around Jared to cling to his lover, heart triple-timing since he expected Jared to turn him away. He buried his nose into Jared's throat. "I could not bear to live without you." And, while that was the truth, he also could not bear the thought of something happening to Jared. Leaning up, Jensen pressed a line of kisses along Jared's jaw.

Jared leaned down to meet Jensen's mouth with his own. "I found, when I was young, that one can burrow quite deep into a haystack and make a cozy, private nest all one's own. Shall we see if that still works?" He rubbed his thumb along Jensen's jaw, trying to soothe away the fears.

Jensen took Jared's mouth, nibbling, licking and sucking his lips while he devoured the taste of him. Finally, he pulled back on a sigh and nodded. "Please," he whispered. "I want to be alone with you, curled away from the world."

Jared released Jensen and began to dig a tunnel into the hay. He burrowed deep, making them a nest to lay in, before gesturing Jensen inside. "Come in, and I shall pull the hay back into place so none may see."

Jensen felt the slightest bit silly climbing into the haystack, but he wanted the time alone as much as Jared. When he settled, he reached a hand to curve over Jared's hip and then nodded at him. "Truly an escape this way."

Jared smiled and winked, before piling the hay back into the hole. When no more gaps remained, he spread himself beside Jensen and kissed him. "You were inspired tonight, my Jen. I thought the audience might catch sparks from our kisses and be set aflame." He slid a hand under Jensen's rough shirt and pinched a nipple, before rubbing small circles around the areola.

Jensen gasped and arched into Jared's touch, legs moving restlessly in their hay cocoon. "It is you who inspires me, my love. Seeing and hearing you and knowing that my lips will be on yours." He curled an arm around Jared's shoulders, pulling him in closer.

Jared rested his forehead against Jensen's and sighed softly. "And we must satisfy ourselves with the time we have onstage more often than not. So, our kisses are even more afire than they would be otherwise."

"It thrills the audience more. They feel the passion and longing between us." Not that Jensen enjoyed having only that time with Jared, but it was better than nothing to him, and the power and force of their kisses left him lightheaded.

"I guess they must think we are the best actors in the world, and I suppose we are," Jared said with a trace of bitterness. He nuzzled under Jensen's chin and kissed the warm flesh near his pulse point.

Jensen heard the bitterness in Jared's voice, but chose to focus on the kisses and the way Jared turned him inside out. Jensen slid one leg between Jared's and placed a hand on his lower back to bring their bodies into alignment. It had been many weeks since their fortnight of sharing a bed, and Jensen craved Jared inside him.

Jared sensed what Jensen wanted and kissed him gently. "What's the rush, Jen? We have all night, do we not?"

"We do. Yes." Jensen pulled back slightly with a sheepish grin. "You were so gorgeous tonight. Listening to you, watching you." He shuddered a bit. "I have been aching for you for hours now."

Jared chuckled, removed his hand from Jensen's nipple and slid it down, under his pants, to stroke a firm, long cock. "I noticed that Kate seemed a bit unfeminine in some areas," he said with an amused smile.

Jensen groaned while his hips hitched into Jared's touch. "So long as the audience cannot see, then my hardness is a good thing. I love that you can bring me that." He smiled and leaned in to nip at Jared's lower lip. "Just the sound of your voice makes me ache."

Jared slid off to lay to one side and stroked Jensen with more intention. He wanted to take the edge off Jensen's desire. "I guess I should stop reciting poetry then."

"Your poetry leaves me aching into the night." Jensen arched into Jared's hand. "There are times when I lay there so hard and wanting, I have to take myself in hand just to sleep." He clutched at Jared's arms, head tilting back when he breathed out.

Jared sympathized with that sentiment, as he had found his hand a necessary, if unsatisfactory, companion the past months. "You are not alone in this," Jared murmured, pulling his hand off Jensen and licking his fingers, before returning to caress him.

The slick feel of Jared's hand pulled a gasp from Jensen's throat, a soft whine following swiftly on the tail end of the breath when he rolled his hips. "Want to touch you." Jensen fumbled at the ties to Jared's breeches, fingers without their usual dexterity.

Jared brushed Jensen's hand away. "Not yet. Just feel for now," Jared said, speeding up his hand and trailing his fingers through the moisture on the tip of Jensen's cock. "I want you to let go."

Even denied Jared's body, Jensen couldn't help but grab at Jared's back. He clung to the strength there while his lover pushed him higher and higher, faster and harder toward his orgasm.

Jared smiled at the sight of Jensen losing control and whispered, "You are most beautiful to me in these moments, my Jen, speeding to your ultimate pleasure and totally in my control. I am honored by your trust, overwhelmed by your love."

"Always, my Jay. You are my everything." Jensen's hands twisted in Jared's shirt, tugging him closer when he opened his mouth for a kiss. Jensen's hips worked hard and fast, in time with Jared's strokes and edging him close to his peak. "Please," he begged, whimpering and moaning for Jared.

"Tell me what you want, Jen," Jared whispered, kissing his forehead and cheeks. "How can I serve you?" His hand found Jared's balls and caressed carefully, before returning to firm, hard strokes.

"Need you inside me, please!" Jensen writhed and moaned, body trembling for Jared while he was teased and tormented.

Eyelids fluttering, Jared shook his head a little and kissed Jensen, sucking on his bottom lip. "Not yet, love. We'll get there, I promise." He opened Jensen's laces and exposed his needy cock. "But for now." He slid down and licked the juicy head, before sucking harder.

Jensen's body went rigid in the span of a single heartbeat once his cock was engulfed by Jared's mouth. Writhing on the hay, Jensen reached down to card his fingers through Jared's hair, grabbing lightly at a fistful of it while Jared sucked and licked him senseless.

Wanting to ease the desires of his lover, Jared skipped the slow, methodical pace he usually started with and began a quick bobbing of his head, taking in as much as he could. He opened his mouth and throat wide to encourage Jensen to thrust, leaving his hands free to fondle his balls and slide further back over his perineum and to his entrance.

Jared's fast and rough handling made Jensen groan and writhe, hips thrusting up into the wet heat.

Jared pulled off again and kissed Jensen's navel. "Let go, Jen." He returned to his ministrations, huge hands now splayed over Jensen's hips and pulling him up with each thrust.

Jensen keened at the way Jared could manhandle him, body responding to the guidance. Hitching his hips up, Jensen burrowed both hands in Jared's hair while murmuring soft words over and over.

Jared chuckled around Jensen, thinking superstitious passersby would be frightened of the wailing haystack. Still, he felt gratified by Jensen's noises, each one sending a jolt through his own body. He continued to allow Jensen to take everything he needed, wanting his lover to be blown away by his release.

Gasping on a cry, Jensen's body went rigid under Jared, bowing up to tug on Jared's hair. He spurted his release, hard, fast and hot into Jared's throat, while trembling under his lover's hand.

Now used to swallowing everything his lover could produce, Jared greedily made sure to get every last drop, before pulling off and kissing his chest. "Better?"

Jensen lay there, panting and gasping, chest heaving, while he tried to figure out how to unclench his fingers from Jared's hair. He slowly let go and smoothed the bangs back from his lover's face. "You are the most amazing man I know, my love. Thank you."

Jared chuckled and kissed Jensen, sharing his flavor. "I do not think that qualifies me as amazing, my Jen, but thank you." He stroked down Jensen's chest and over his stomach and then back up again. "I wanted to bring you pleasure uncomplicated by my own."

"You are so giving, my Jared. You think nothing of yourself." Jensen tugged him closer, twining their legs together and stealing kisses from Jared's swollen lips. He let himself get lost in the pleasure.

Jared shook his head and chewed on Jensen's full lower lip. "Giving you pleasure pleases me, so I am not so selfless as you think." He nuzzled around Jensen's neck sucking the soft skin there, but not leaving marks. "Do you still wish me inside you?"

"Yes, please." Jensen huffed out a soft breath, head tilting to the side in offering to Jared's desire. He wanted to feel Jared biting him, taking him completely.

Jared found the mark he had made their last time together, well hidden from prying eyes and licked the skin thoroughly. "Why do you prefer that?"

Jensen blushed, though the darkened cave they were in hid it. "I -" He paused, taking a deep breath and pressing his lips to Jared's ear. "I like the way you feel inside me, the way you fill me full, as though you are going to be a part of me forever, stretching me to fit you perfectly." Jensen flicked his tongue out, curling it around the shell of Jared's ear.

"I am a part of you," Jared said, shivering at the words and Jensen's tongue. "And it will be forever, if you allow." He turned his head to catch the tongue with his mouth and suck it inside, nibbling gently with his teeth. "Just as you are a part of me."

Pressing into the kiss, Jensen stroked his hands over Jared's body. He loved the thought of being a part of Jared forever, of waking every day to see his lover beside him and sleeping every night secure in the knowledge of their love. But Jensen did not trust the world to leave them to their happiness.

Jared pulled away and began to shed his clothes, working quickly in their dark haven. The sound of a cow bell nearby made him pause, and he tilted his head, listening, until the sound faded into the night. Chuckling, he reached out to stroke the nearest part of Jensen, his right thigh, and said,

_"And the night shall be filled with music,   
And the cares that infest the day_

Shall fold their tents like the Arabs,   
And as silently steal away."

Jensen shifted his thigh into Jared's touch, heart warmed by the words. His lover often quoted poetry to him, leaving Jensen's heart fluttering in his chest. "You take all of my cares away," he murmured, pressing another kiss to the side of Jared's jaw.

Jared murmured, "No. I am both the cause and cure for your ails. I am at once that which makes you live and that which will cause your death."

"Do not say that, I beg of you." Jensen clung to Jared, pressing kisses to his lips to stop the tide of words. He could not bear to think of death or pain, not connected to his lover.

Jared gripped the back of Jensen's head and lifted him closer to deepen the nearly frantic kiss. When they parted, he pulled away again to finish undressing, before stretching out over Jensen, completely free of clothing. "You beg many things of me. 'Tis a good thing I am a generous man."

Jensen nodded solemnly, hands moving over Jared's skin all the while. His heart still raced from Jared's words. Jensen was well aware that he and Jared lived on the fine edge of compromise. Neither of them believed the other to be right, and he was petrified of the day their differences tore them apart.

Jared began to kiss Jensen's face, neck and chest again, enjoying the familiar skin. "How do you want to do this, my Jen? On your stomach?" He sucked a dark mark over Jensen's navel. "On your knees?" He reached down and pinched the skin under his right knee. "On your back, as you are now?" He paused and licked a wet stripe up to Jensen's nipples. "Or shall you ride me like a wild mount?"

"On-" Jensen cleared his throat after his first failed attempt to speak. "On my knees...do not want you to hold back. Please, need to feel you." He'd arched and gasped through Jared's teasing, his body responding to the touch of a lover who knew how to evoke reaction. Jensen pressed a kiss to Jared's lips and then slowly started to shift to his front, wanting to get his knees under him and offer up his body.

Jared stopped him and pulled Jensen into a kiss, both of them kneeling to face each other. He spread his legs so Jensen fit between them, leaving them chest-to-chest. "I never hold back with you."

"I know, love." Jensen kissed him back, body pressed tight to Jared's. "I want it rougher tonight, harder." He dipped his head and whispered, "I want you to just take me, please."

Worried, Jared cupped Jensen's chin and wished he could see his expression through the gloom. "Rougher? Harder? You wish me to hurt you?"

"No, love, no." Jensen tilted his head into Jared's hand and then turned to kiss his palm. "It will not hurt, I promise you that. It is like near the end when you rut hard and come over the edge. It feels stunning and amazing, and I wish to feel that the whole time."

Jared paused and then nodded. "I will try as you ask, my Jen. But I am not sure I will not hold back for worry of you." He brushed kisses over Jensen's eyelashes and then let him go so he could move on his knees. Searching, he found his discarded tunic and dug out a bottle of oil. He uncorked the tiny vial and spread the liquid on his fingers.

"You've no cause to worry, my Jared." Jensen turned and went down on his hands, pulling their tangled shirts to him for a pillow while he arched his back for Jared.

Jared streaked oil across Jensen's skin as he sought him out in the dark, but quickly began stretching him open. If Jensen needed fast and hard, Jared would try to give him fast and hard. He would not have chosen this for one of their few nights, but felt determined to answer Jensen's plea. "Talk to me."

Jensen groaned when Jared's fingers sunk into him. "More, my love. It feels so perfect. Your fingers are heaven." He writhed and pushed back into Jared's hand, wanting and needing to be filled. "Love you," he sighed.

Jared thrust deeper and harder than normal with his fingers, trying to find Jensen's sweet spot. Meanwhile, he worried at Jensen's desire to be taken in this fashion, needing more. Perhaps he was not enough for his lover...

"Oh!" Jensen arched his back hard, thrusting his ass back on Jared's fingers with a cry. It felt so good, dizzying in its intensity. "Need you, please. Oh, my Jared, please come into me now."

"Yes, all right, easy," Jared said. He slicked himself quickly and lined up, pressing in with one swift, hard stroke. Grunting in shock at how good the sensation felt, he leaned over Jensen's back and asked, "Are you all right? Did that hurt?"

"No, so good, so good." Jensen held himself steady, as he gulped for breath. His cock was achingly hard between his legs, dripping pre-come.

Jared buried his face in Jensen's back and steeled himself. With a deep breath, he began a harsh, driving pace in and out of the tight, welcoming heat. He grunted with every thrust, the air knocked in and out of his lungs. Shutting his eyes, he pictured himself as a wild animal, claiming his mate. And with that part to play, he tried to give Jensen what he wanted.

Jensen dug his hands into the hay and held on for the ride. Every thrust of Jared's hips he met with a slam of his own, sounds tearing from his throat while he was fucked hard and fast. He could feel the difference in Jared, the animalistic claiming of his body, and it thrilled him. From time to time, Jensen wanted and needed to be claimed. The tiny bruises from Jared's fingertips dotting his body always excited him.

Jared got into his role, uttering low, deep growls in the back of his throat. He felt Jensen meeting his thrusts and reached around his body to find his cock. Grabbing with a firm hold, he began to stroke in tempo with his rapid hips, though he often lost rhythm and stripped Jensen out of time.

The touch of Jared's hand on his cock was unexpected, and Jensen howled when he was stroked and fucked hard in turn. He arched and pressed and finally released his grip on the hay to bring one hand back to Jared's hip. He grabbed on tight when his orgasm hit, body trembling and fingers digging into the solid muscle of Jared's hip.

Jared plunged right with Jensen, losing need of the part with Jensen's climax and letting go at the same time. He shuddered through a moment or two of mindless pleasure and then pulled out and flopped on the ground, feeling somehow bereft.

The minute Jared fell next to him, Jensen turned and curled himself around his lover. He buried his head in Jared's throat, heart hammering while he tried to catch his breath and twined their legs together. Jensen pressed soft kisses over Jared's collarbone and throat, nuzzling at his ear.

Jared wrapped his arms around Jensen and pulled him close, burrowing his head into Jensen's neck to hide. He did not want Jensen to know how little the experience pleased him. He had seen how it answered a need in Jensen, so he resigned himself to sometimes replaying that role. His own sweet and slow would have their place, too.

Jensen smiled when Jared burrowed into him, body and mind satisfied and satiated. Jared gave him everything he asked, took him everywhere he wanted to go, and Jensen fell just a little bit more in love with Jared. "Love you, my Jared." he murmured into Jared's throat. "With everything I am."

Jared lifted his head and dug up a smile for Jensen. "You are well then?" he asked, voice hoarse.

"I am better than well, my love." Jensen turned his head and slanted his mouth over Jared's. He wanted to shower his lover with praise and thanks, but he could sense that something was not quite right. "Are you well? Was that okay?" Jensen asked, worry coloring his words.

"I- I am glad I gave you what you wanted," Jared said, tracing Jensen's swollen mouth with his fingers. He lay his head on Jensen's chest and shut his eyes.

"But it was not what you wanted." Jensen sighed and stroked Jared's hair slowly. "I am sorry that it was not pleasing to you, my love, though I thank you."

Jared nodded against the warm skin and sighed. "I would not mind so much if we had every night together, as this one. There would be time for all. Time for each of us to act out our fantasies with the other. Confined as we are to so little, I fear we shall never be able to do so."

Jensen sighed and stroked Jared's hair back from his face. "We have our whole lives ahead of us. Though we do not have every night together now, someday we shall. It will be the two of us, always."

"You do not know that," Jared said, bitterly aware that he was usually the one comforting Jensen. But something about tonight unsettled him, made him wonder if he really was what Jensen wanted. "There are no certainties in this world."

"That is true, my love. But if everything were to go smoothly and as planned, we would never have met. We would never have known the love between us." Jensen wished he could see Jared's face. It was odd to hear him speak with such despair.

Jared nodded at the truth in this and turned so his face lay against the strength of Jensen. He pressed a soft kiss to the skin there. "I wish we could sleep here tonight."

"I do also, my love. I fear we would not be comfortable come morning." The hay, while making a wonderful escape for them was sure to leave them aching and itchy if they stayed the night. "Perhaps the next town will have a shortage of rooms."

Jared snorted and rolled over, reaching for his clothes. Trust Jensen always to be practical. To be careful. They had traveled together for months and only once stayed at an inn with a shortage of rooms. Waiting around and hoping for another chance occurrence frustrated Jared.

Jensen felt bereft, the cold snaking over his body where Jared once touched him. He'd not meant for his lover to move just yet, but knew he had not spoke plain. Shaking his head, Jensen sighed and pushed himself to his knees to find his clothing and dress. It seemed their idyllic evening was over, and he hated the coldness that awaited him back at the inn.

Jared pulled on his breeches and looked around the hay. "I slept out in one of these when I was young and the weather was pleasant. My father tanned my hide."

"Do you want to stay?" Jensen asked hesitantly. He could hear the wistfulness in Jared's voice, the sorrow evident. "We could." Shaking even at the offer, Jensen knew he'd do anything for Jared.

"I might stay. You do not need to, Jen. I know you prefer a warm bed and the safety of the Inn," Jared said. He reached out to squeeze Jensen's shoulder, since Jensen could not see his smile of thanks.

Jensen wanted to stay with Jared more than anything, but his lover's words and touch convinced him that he was not needed. Jensen nodded again and sighed. "All right. I shall leave you to sleep in peace." He turned to leave and then grasped Jared's hand, tugging him in close for a hard kiss.

Jared gripped Jensen's back and neck with strong hands. "I never know peace either with or without you," he said quietly.

The words tore a hole in Jensen's heart. "Rest well, my love. I shall see you on the morrow." Jensen pressed kisses to Jared's cheeks and forehead before he turned to burrow out of the nest.

Jared sighed, thinking Jensen had once again misunderstood him, though he could not tell if it was deliberate. He fell back into the soft hay and buried his face in his hands.

Jensen scrubbed a hand over his face when he stood, as though trying to see Jared through the haystack. He wanted nothing more than to climb back in, but was utterly convinced that Jared was not in the mood for his company. Jensen turned away for the solitary walk back to the inn.

"I saw you," an angry voice said from behind one of the haystacks once Jensen passed by. "I heard you."

Stopping, frozen in place, Jensen's heart slammed into his ribs, and he turned slowly. "Who are you? What do you speak of?" Jensen's voice shook as it never did on stage while he waited for the person to appear, fear clawing at his insides.

A young woman of no more than twenty stepped out from behind the nearest stack and glared at Jensen with intense brown eyes. "You know of what I speak," she said, voice trembling on a wave of anger. "Unnatural acts for which God shall punish you."

"My business is none of yours, and you should not be concerning yourself with me and mine. Let God judge where he will and not you." Jensen did his best to sound sure, confident and haughty at her presumption on his life with Jared.

Her mouth twisted in a scowl. "There are others who disagree. People who wish to know what perversions go on in this world. They would know how to deal with your sickness."

"It is no business of yours. Why do you torment me so over nothing to do with you?" Jensen gritted his teeth around the words, barely choking them out in fury and fear.

Something in her expression shifted, her eyes darting toward the haystack where Jared remained, before returning to Jensen. "You should worry more about what I can do than why," she said, voice still cold.

Jensen's heart clenched at that, body tensing while he looked her over. "What, pray tell, could a slip of a girl do to harm me?"

"Tell," she said simply. She had seen the extent both men, but especially this one, had gone to in order to avoid being caught. "But I will not, if you leave. Just you."


	4. Apart

Jensen wiped the last of the make-up off his face, much easier to do now that he played Romeo or Petruchio. He looked critically at his face in the mirror, noting the lines that hadn't been there in previous years and closed his eyes against the thought of time and aging. The knock at the door was expected, if unwanted, and Jensen rose from his seat to greet the troupe benefactor with a pasted on smile and a fake willingness to work the crowd.

Lord Anderson had been good to him and staying in one town was something Jensen had enjoyed over the past two years. "Who must we greet tonight, my Lord? Is there anyone in particular that I need to flatter and fawn?" It was a great working arrangement for the troupe and the theatre. They kept the privilege of meeting him as something that had to be paid for, the patronage of the intimate after parties something that kept the actors and the theatre performing year round. And all Jensen had to do was continue to play a part. Though, without Jared by his side, that was often easier said than done.

"There is but one person tonight, a young lady most interested in your pretty face and lines of poetry, Jensen. She specifically asked to meet you in the common room over dinner and drinks." The Lord, a jolly man and friend to Jensen, laughed low. "I do believe she thinks to seduce you."

Jensen merely raised an eyebrow and smirked at Lord Anderson. "Have no fear, no little miss shall have an effect on me." He let Lord Anderson point him across the room to the table and sighed once he saw yet another pampered heiress sitting and waiting for him to fulfill her fantasies.

Jared watched Jensen cross the room in his direction, eyes on another table. He leaned against the wooden back of the booth, playing with his mug. His mind debated the wisdom of speaking to his former lover after all this time and reopening painful wounds. Jensen looked good, as tempting as ever, and Jared felt a shiver of rueful amusement for his own state.

Overall, Jared was in the best shape of his life. Muscles bulged in his arms, legs and chest- built up by five years of working as a farmhand and laborer. A dark tan flushed his skin from hours in the sun. But a mis-timed swing of a scythe had lain his left cheek open from nose to jaw, leaving a thick scar in its wake. If Jared had ever entertained dreams of returning to the stage, that one accident destroyed them forever.

Jensen came abreast of his table, and Jared found himself saying, "So, you graduated to playing the male leads at last."

The words shot through Jensen, sending equal jolts of shock and desire coursing through his veins. He'd not heard the tone or timbre of Jared's voice for five long years. Jensen turned slowly, his body tensing. "That I do. The younger boys are far better suited than I to play a miss." He nodded to Jared, doing his best to not betray his yearning to see the man before him.

Jared smiled at Jensen, the left side of his face twisted oddly. "You are a fine male lead, Jensen, though perhaps lacking the fire of your youth. Still, words always did drip prettily off your tongue." He lifted his mug in salute to his former lover. "And you are still beautiful, even if you do not play the miss."

Blinking at the harshness behind Jared's words, Jensen nodded and then looked briefly away, before forcing himself to turn back to Jared. "Thank you for the compliment I think was in your words. The fire of acting dies once you have done it night and day for eternity." Jensen remembered Jared being the one who was good with words, while he relied on the page. "You are looking well, hale and hearty."

Jared narrowed his eyes and shook his head. "Do not mock me, Jensen. I know what I look like."

Jensen blinked at the accusation and shook his head. "You look as good as you always did, my Jared. Even better now with color in your skin and strength to you." He would have continued, but felt a hand on his lower back and the presence of Lord Anderson at his side.

"Jensen, Miss Elizabeth is waiting for you. Rather impatiently, I might add."

Nodding in Jared's direction, Jensen said, "It was a pleasure to see you again, Jared. If you are in town for a few days, I would be interested in speaking with you. But now, I must attend to the rest of my job. Please pardon me." With a little bow in, Jensen slipped away and continued to his original destination, smiling at the seated girl and taking her hand to flourish a grand kiss to the back.  
~~~~~~~~~~

Jared pounded wooden pegs into the new stage, grateful that rehearsals for the day were finally done. He, Tom, and several other traveling laborers had been hired to fix up the old theatre, and although the job seemed more than slightly ironic, Jared could not help but be glad to work on the once glamorous place. Plays deserved a worthy setting, and the old theatre had fallen into disrepair over the years.

Still, he could not help the dark chuckle when he heard Jensen rehearsing Romeo for the first time. Of all the plays to be performing, why not the one which first sparked the passion between them so long ago? He snorted again in rueful amusement and stretched his arms to the ceiling. Catching Tom smiling at him across the room, he said,

_"O serpent heart, hid with a flow'ring face!  
Did ever dragon keep so fair a cave?  
Beautiful tyrant! fiend angelical!  
Dove-feathered raven! wolvish-ravening lamb!  
Despised substance of divinest show!  
Just opposite to what thou justly seem'st-  
A damned saint, an honorable villain!  
O nature, what hadst thou to do in hell  
When thou didst bower the spirit of a fiend  
In mortal paradise of such sweet flesh?  
Was ever book containing such vile matter  
So fairly bound? O, that deceit should dwell  
In such a gorgeous place!"_

Jensen stopped abruptly when he heard Jared's voice. It was a balm to his pained heart and yet, an aching wound as well. How he'd missed the deep sound, resonating through his lover's chest and giving Jensen a peace he'd never known before or since. Then he heard the words, breath catching in his throat when he realized they could easily be about him. Jensen's eyes teared once it sunk in that Jared thought so little of him.

"I never understand you," Tom said, walking over to work with Jared. "You speak a language apart from the rest of us."

Jared laughed again and began to hammer pegs. "I just spout lines learned long ago," he said, "when I was up there with the other actors. I once played Romeo... I might even have been good." He leaped nimbly up on the stage and posed as once he had, saying,

_"If I may trust the flattering truth of sleep,  
My dreams presage some joyful news at hand:  
My bosom's lord sits lightly in his throne;  
And all this day an unaccustom'd spirit  
Lifts me above the ground with cheerful thoughts.  
I dreamt my lady came and found me dead--  
Strange dream, that gives a dead man leave  
to think!--  
And breathed such life with kisses in my lips,  
That I revived, and was an emperor.  
Ah me! how sweet is love itself possess'd,  
When but love's shadows are so rich in joy!   
News from Verona!--How now, Balthasar!  
Dost thou not bring me letters from the friar?  
How doth my lady? Is my father well?  
How fares my Juliet? that I ask again;  
For nothing can be ill, if she be well."_

The words of the next part slammed into Jensen's mind. Without thinking, he stepped forward again, moving out of the wings and onto the stage toward Jared, reciting:

_"Then she is well, and nothing can be ill:   
Her body sleeps in Capel's monument,   
And her immortal part with angels lives.   
I saw her laid low in her kindred's vault,   
And presently took post to tell it you:   
O, pardon me for bringing these ill news,   
Since you did leave it for my office, sir."_

Jared startled and turned toward Jensen, old instincts taking over. He closed the distance between them, looking down at Jensen, eyes glittering.

_"Is it even so? then I defy you, stars!  
Thou know'st my lodging: get me ink and paper,  
And hire post-horses; I will hence to-night."_

Their rhythm came back as easily as breathing, and Jensen turned pleading eyes to Jared's.

_"I do beseech you, sir, have patience:   
Your looks are pale and wild, and do import  
Some misadventure."_

Tom began to applaud, not knowing the scene, and brought Jared out of his reverie. He smiled at Jensen and bowed to him. "You are kind, Sir, to act as a mere bit player to a laborer as lead."

"You were ever the leading man, my Jared. The rest of us merely revolved in your orbit." Jensen bowed also and took a step back. "My apologies for interrupting, the pull of the words is sometimes too strong to ignore." Jensen smiled at them both, his eyes taking Tom in quickly, before he stepped back again, ready to leave.

_"Farewell, my friend, fare thee well.  
The elements be kind to thee, and make  
Thy spirits all of comfort: fare thee well," _

Jared said softly. He leaped back down off the stage and picked up another handful of wooden pegs, cursing himself.

Jensen's heart tore at the words, wanting to turn back to Jared and grab him. He had no idea what he'd do, kiss him, hug him, slam him into a wall and devour him. It was better that he step away, leaving Jared to his life as he'd done before, no matter that he'd torn his heart to shreds.

"I did not wish you both to stop," Tom said, confusion evident in his blue-green eyes. "You are good together."

Jared glanced at Tom and then back up at Jensen. "We did work together once, long ago. We were very good together, at least so I believed. Was that not so, Jensen Ackles?"

"We were the best together, Jared Padalecki. The two of us were hailed and requested at every stop." Jensen looked at Tom with a smile and then turned his gaze back to Jared, drinking in the sight of him. "They were the best months of my life." He turned and fled the stage, leaving the theatre and Jared behind.  
~~~~~~~~~~

Jared wiped sweat from his face and wrestled with a recalcitrant bench from the upper boxes. "Ow!" he yelped when the heavy object landed on one of his fingers. Pulling back his hand and waving it in the air, he cursed under his breath.

Hearing Jared's exclamation, Tom walked over and took his hand carefully. After a quick examination of the area, he said, "I do not think you are badly injured," and brushed a kiss over the red area.

Smiling, Jared glanced around quickly and drew Tom close to him. "We could always pretend I am," he whispered and kissed Tom gently.

Whistling as he made his way from the stage toward the front of the house, Jensen heard the exclamation and arrived in time to see Jared pull Tom in and press a kiss to his lips. He sucked in a hard breath, stomach dropping out from under him and tears welling in his eyes. His Jared, the pure love of his life, stood in the shadows and kissed another man. Though Jensen knew it unlikely that Jared had not found someone else in the wake of Jensen's betrayal, it still cut him quick and deep.

Jared leaned his forehead against Tom's and sighed softly. His lover wrapped strong arms around him and said, "I wish I knew how to make you happy, Jared."

Shocked, Jared lifted his head and stared at Tom. "You have made me happier than I have been in years, Tom."

Tom nodded once, but said, "Happier, perhaps, but not happy."

Jensen closed his eyes on the pain, from Tom's words and the way Jared rested in the other man's arms, trusting and loving. He pinched the bridge of his nose, nostrils flaring when he exhaled, and looked for an escape from the uncomfortable scene without alerting them to his presence.

Jared pulled away and leaned against a pillar, staring blankly at nothing.

_My grief lies all within, and these external manners of lament are merely shadows to the unseen grief that swells with silence in the tortured soul_

Jensen's throat closed on a gasp, his eyes flying open to stare at Jared in pained memory. "I am sorry, my love. So, so sorry." He murmured the words while stepping back on the stage, heading back and away from them.

Tom put a hand on Jared's shoulder and squeezed. "I wish I might be enough for you, Jared. He must have been special."

Jared shut his eyes tightly on the burn of tears that did not fade with time. "You mean besides leaving me without a by your leave?" he asked.

"I had no choice," Jensen whispered. "I had to protect you. At all costs, even at the cost of my heart." He sniffled softly, the sound loud in his ears. Jensen's eyes snapped to where the other men stood, hoping they'd not heard him.

Tom wrapped his arms around Jared's middle and hugged tightly. "What would you say to him, if you could speak to him now?"

Jared leaned back into the strong embrace and said, "I could not even tell you. My heart would be so confused that I would not know if I wished to be angry or gladdened by his countenance. To see him triumph would make my insides rage at the unfairness of life, but if he were to fail, I would be torn asunder."

Jensen knew the feeling well. He'd always hoped Jared was well. He watched the two men together, his heart breaking apart at the obvious affection between them, even though he was glad that Jared had someone who cared for him.

Jared tilted his head back to kiss Tom and said, "You should leave me. I am not good enough for you. Not with my heart anchored to another."

"Do not say such things," Tom said firmly. "I would not leave you alone in the world, Jared. If I knew you were taken care of and happy, perhaps I might be willing, but not otherwise."

Jensen saw how much Tom loved Jared, how much Jared cared for the other man. He sucked in a breath before he turned to leave. They were well matched, and he hoped they'd be happy. He decided to ask Lord Anderson for a break - maybe he could take a few days for himself and escape the memories.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jensen trudged up the walk of the Inn, Lord Anderson having denied him a few days holiday until the mid-season break. He kicked at the gravel, muttering about understudies and people who knew the role just as well. With a sigh, Jensen turned on the charm before he entered the Inn; there were the wife and daughters to flirt with and possibly a bite to eat or a bit of wine.

It took him nearly half an hour to make it upstairs, the wine drunk and the bread crumbled in his stomach. Jensen sighed and opened the door to his room, slipping inside and closing it behind him. He leaned against the surface with his eyes closed and slowly let the facade drain away.

"You never were any good with the public," Jared said from his position on Jensen's bed. "Well, your image was good, but you never enjoyed a second of the admiration off the stage." He lifted his head, eyes glittering strangely in the half-light. "How do you manage it now with you the main focus of all their attention?"

Eyes flying open, Jensen gasped in a breath and pressed into the door. His heart thundered in his chest, and he shook his head. "I do not manage, not really." The words slid out without conscious thought. "Lord Anderson has made it something of a novelty. Come dine with his 'pretty, reclusive star,' and people pay a price for the exclusivity of a dinner party with me. It is much easier to manage a few at a time." Jensen clamped his mouth shut, heart still hammering and breath not steady while he drank in the sight of Jared.

Jared stood up and walked over to stand in front of Jensen, using his height and acting skill to loom over his former lover. "I wanted to talk with you, Jen. Five years later, and I am still a disaster on every front. And here you are- the centerpiece you always wanted to be."

"If you wish, my -" Jensen stopped himself and shook his head. "Things are not remotely as they seem, but I am willing to speak with you. Please, give me some space to remove my shoes and offer you a drink of water." Jensen looked up at Jared, eyes open and honest, though hiding his love.

"No," Jared said. "No time to think out what role to play, what words to speak. I want to talk to Jensen, not whomever you think will best work for this scene." He stepped even closer, body vibrating with tension. "I spent two years looking for you. Tearing myself to pieces, wondering what had happened, what I had done to make you leave. I gave up looking, but I never could stop wondering. So, I want to know- why?"

Jensen pressed back into the door, shrinking from the anger streaming off Jared. "I left because I had no choice. My love for you led us to a place where you were in danger; we were in danger. The only way to keep you safe was to leave you behind."

Jared put his hands on either side of Jensen's head and leaned forward. "Tell me."

Jensen's eyes widened when Jared loomed in his space. He ached to lean forward and touch Jared. "We - I was threatened. With exposure. Of you, of us. I was told that I had to leave, without a word. If I did, I was promised that you would be safe, you would be free."

"You left me to keep me safe. You broke my heart because you were scared." Jared's head dropped, his neck giving way to the ridiculous irony of life. "You fool." Without warning, his head snapped back up, and he pressed his mouth against Jensen's fiercely.

Jensen kissed Jared back with everything in him, hands pressing against the door and scrabbling at the wood. He let Jared in, let him take and do what he wanted, never having dreamed that he would feel Jared kissing him again.

Jared growled low under his breath and grabbed Jensen's chin with one hand and his waist with the other. He pushed back his head to expose his neck and then bit down on the skin just below his pulse point, making a dark mark.

Jensen clung tight to Jared, a low groan slipping out at the way he was manhandled. He whimpered when Jared pulled up a blood red mark on his throat, knowing there was little way to hide such a thing and that it would take a trick of layers of make-up to conceal later that evening. He couldn't find it in himself to care, not since Jared was touching him, holding him.

Jared pulled back and stared at Jensen, breathing hard. He felt the other man's arms around him and loosened his grip, caressing instead of forcing. His fingers brushed over the mark on Jensen's neck. "I- why did you let me do that?"

Jensen looked down, swallowing hard. "I do not know. It felt good." He swept his eyes closed, longing singing in his veins, when the image of blue eyes and a broad smile took his breath away. "Oh God. We cannot; we should not." He took his hands from clutching and pressed them lightly on Jared's chest. The pain and guilt of knowing that Jared was with someone and Jensen still lusted after him left him trembling.

"I love you, Jen," Jared said, not letting go. "It's been five years. Five years of empty, meaningless days and nights. Living because dying seemed too much like letting you win." He swept his hands over Jensen's sides. "But it seems we both lost." He pressed his mouth to Jensen's ear. "Tell me you do not love me, and I shall leave."

Jensen shuddered from the top of his head to the tips of his toes. He leaned his face against Jared's and tried to get the words out. "I do not -" He breathed out, shaking his head and hands still pressing against Jared's chest. "I cannot." His fingers curled in the material. "We still cannot do this, my Jared. You are not free to pursue me."

Jared grabbed Jensen's ass and lifted him off the ground, pressing him against the door. "No cannots, no must nots, no do nots," he said, strong arms tightening around their prize. "You let yourself lose me out of your own fears, but I have come back, Jen. And this time, things will be on my terms." He kissed Jensen, sweeping out with his tongue to claim his mouth.

Kissing Jared back, Jensen let himself drown in the feeling, the hardness of the body beneath him both familiar and unknown. He'd dreamt of this moment, being able to feel and taste and hold Jared again, without hope that it'd ever come to pass. But Jensen remembered Jared kissing another man and turned his head aside, gasping for air and pushing at Jared's shoulders. "We cannot. You are not free to do this, Jared. Please. Stop."

"Tom," Jared whispered, pain in his voice. He twisted his head and buried his face in Jensen's throat, inhaling the beloved scent. "I have not treated him fairly, it's true, but he knows I do not love him. He knows I love you, even if he does not know who you are." Jared nibbled lightly at Jensen's neck. "I can never repay him for his kindness or make up for hurting him. But I love you. And I cannot deny that, even if I want to."

"And I love you. I have and will always love you." Jensen rested his head against Jared's and sighed softly. "You are still not free. I will not hurt someone else. Please do not ask that of me." He closed his eyes and tilted his head back against the wood, every nerve in his body clamoring for Jared. "I saw you with him, and he loves you. He loves you and is free to be with you openly, as you want." Jensen sighed again and whispered the rest, "The way I was too frightened to be."

"The hurt is done," Jared said. "You think I could pretend to be happy with him, knowing all along that I wanted you and you me? T'would be that much a crueler thing to do to my friend than tell the truth." Jared looked into Jensen's eyes, wide and pleading. "Don't send me away. Please."

Jensen trembled with desire and pain, his body aching and his mind troubled. "But he does not know yet that you are here, that you have found me." He turned away from the gaze, looking off to the right with his eyes cast to the floor, unable to withstand the depths of Jared's wanting. "You must tell him first."

Jared released Jensen and let him slide to the floor. He stepped back and clenched his fists, the muscles in his arms bulging. "And then what?"

"What do you want?" Jensen breathed deeply, still pressed into the door since Jared stood close.

"Do not turn the question back on me, Jensen. I have ever been transparent in what I desired for us." Jared took another step back. "Or perhaps you do not wish me now that I am no longer fair."

Crossing his arms over his chest, Jensen glared Jared down. "When did I ever want you for being fair? I wanted you for being you- funny and loving and the best man I know. Do not toss looks in my face."

Jared glared back, equally upset. "And again you manage to not answer my question."

"It feels as though I have wanted you for my entire life. I do not know what comes next. How could I when you are the only one I have ever loved?" Jensen shook his head and pushed away from the door, stalking across the room and to get some water and take off his shoes.

Jared hung his head and sighed. "You thus tell me that you do not know what you want?"

"I do not! For someone so well versed in words, you are determined to hear me wrong." Jensen slammed the glass down. "I want you. I have always wanted you. I do not, however, know where we go from here. Wanting and having and being are different things. Not so much has changed from when we were youths." He crossed his arms over his chest and glared again at Jared, who could just do and be without care, never understanding how hard it was for Jensen.

"So you want now what you wanted then? A half-life, hidden in the shadows from everyone and ashamed of what we are," Jared said. He rubbed the scar on his face. "Is this what you are saying?"

"What do you want me to say? I do not know how to do this. You come in here, mere hours after I see you cuddling with another man, and demand words and answers I have not thought possible." Jensen dipped his head at the floor. "What do you want from me? Nothing I am is enough for you." Sighing in defeat, Jensen curled his arms around his midsection.

"You saw me with Tom... did you hear us as well, then?" Jared asked.

"I only heard pieces. I heard you tell him he made you happy and that you did not deserve him. I heard him tell you he would not leave you." Jensen shrugged and tightened the arms around his middle. "He is all the things I never was for you. Plus, he loves you."

"Then you misheard," Jared said. "I told him he made me happier, but not happy. I told him I could not love him and he should leave me."

Jensen's eyes widened at the distinction, nodding to acknowledge Jared's words. "And yet, he holds you and you kiss him. You are with him, which means there is caring on your part."

"He pulled me from the darkest days of my life," Jared said. "I was ready to give up, curl away in some hole and let myself die. Perhaps become one of those pathetic beggars on the streets, only wanting enough for my next drink. He offered me some reason to value my life- work and friendship. And when he offered me his love... I had been so lonely... I was weak and took it."

The clutch in Jensen's stomach took his breath away. He had done that to Jared. "And you care. It is written all over your face now and was evident in your body language earlier." Jensen sighed and his shoulders slumped. "I am sorry that you felt like that."

"I know you are," Jared said. "And of course I care. Tom is my friend. He has been my lover. But he will never be my love. You alone carry that place in my heart."

"What do you want from me?" Jensen lifted his eyes, bright green lightly moist with tears that clumped his long lashes together. "Please speak plain."

Jared walked over to Jensen and palmed his cheek with one huge hand. "I want you. I want that house we spoke of. I want no hiding, no shame. I want to be able to love you for the world to see. I want to be first in your life.

Jensen blinked and leaned into the touch. He brought his hand up to cover Jared's, letting his eyes slide shut on an exhale as he relaxed. "You have ever been first in my heart, in my life. I would like those things also, my Jared."

"Now?" Jared asked, his voice rough with the tears that slid down his face.

"Aye, now." Jensen's reply was soft, a low thrum of words between them.

Jared swooped down to kiss Jensen again, but this time with hunger tempered by love. He pulled the smaller man close, reveling in the warmth of his lean body. When he pulled back for breath, he began to press kisses to every part of Jensen's face that he could reach, unable to contain the helpless joy and passion.

Jensen clung to Jared, kissing him back and then holding tight when it all became overwhelming. Jensen's eyes were closed while he breathed in the scent of his former and future lover, his fingers digging in to hold Jared to him. "I have missed you every hour of every day."

"No more," Jared promised. He kissed Jensen's nose, trying to get every freckle. "I know you have obligations. How long are you to play here?"

"We have another fortnight on this show." Jensen curled his arms around Jared's back. "I have no obligations beyond that."

"And you are sure you do not mind giving up the stage?" Jared asked, cupping Jensen's ass in big hands and supporting him easily. "For, if you wish to remain..." He trailed off and shut his eyes, knowing he still loved Jensen enough to be secondary.

"The stage lost its luster when I lost you. I do it because it is all I know." Jensen clutched at Jared's shoulders, his body balanced against him. "I do not know what I will do, but I want to be with you more than anything else."

Jared breathed out a long, deep sigh. He kissed Jensen again and stroked his cheek. "I will speak with Tom this night. When may I see you again?"

Jensen leaned up for another kiss. "We can meet again in two days. Tomorrow we have performances midday and evening. Then, I have to do the meet and greet. You will be in the pub after that?"

"I can arrange it to be so," Jared promised, nuzzling against Jensen. "I want you now."

"And I want you. But we cannot. You must speak to Tom first, and I must rest up for tomorrow." Jensen closed his eyes, pressing his face into Jared.

"Do you remember our last night? In the hay?" Jared asked, soaking up the feel of Jensen in his arms.

Jensen nodded, burrowing into Jared. "It is the last memory I have of you."

"I have always regretted that the last time we made love, I was playing a part and not just being myself," Jared whispered. "I will right this wrong for you."

"There is no wrong to right." Jensen turned his head and pressed a kiss to Jared's temple.

Jared slid his hands under Jensen's tunic and stroked the warm, soft skin. "In my mind, there is much wrong to right. Give me the rest of our lives, and we can right them all."

Shuddering at the familiar touch on his bare skin, Jensen nodded. "If you think we must." He leaned in for another kiss, soaking in Jared's presence. "And now we must part," Jensen breathed when he pulled back. "We will see each other in two days time."

Jared stepped back with great reluctance and smiled at Jensen, the light in his eyes bright and full of hope. "I love you, my Jen."

"My Jared. You are all the love in my heart." Jensen stayed where he was, plastered now to the wall opposite the door. "See you in two days time."  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jensen smiled to himself while he walked, the evening's performance even better than midday, and he'd gotten out of entertaining easily, as the gentlemen who were waiting were men he'd met before. He was able to excuse himself at a reasonable hour and head for the Inn.

"Master Ackles, I would speak with thee for a moment." Tom stepped out of the shadows in front of Jensen, a tall, broad figure of a man. In the dim light, his face looked serious, his eyes red, but determined.

Stepping back with a soft oath, Jensen looked up at the man in front of him and winced. He nodded, his own face serious in the presence of Jared's other lover. "But of course, Tom. I am afraid that is the only name I have for you, so I apologize for the familiarity."

"My last name is Welling," Tom said, "but I am not used to being called by it. Tom will do." He studied Jensen intensely. "So, you are the man who would take Jared away from me."

Jensen swallowed, hand coming up to scrub over his mouth, before he simply nodded. "Aye, I guess that I am. I would offer my apologies, but do not think you want to hear them."

"You are right that apologies do not bring me to you," Tom said, stepping toward Jensen. "Do you know why I have come?"

"Because you are in love with Jared."

Tom wiped under his eyes with one arm as a flood of tears suddenly wetted his cheeks. "Cruel to speak in those terms."

"It is the truth, is it not? You are in love with the man I also love. Beyond that I do not know why you have sought me out." Jensen felt guilt well up in him.

Tom straightened, eyes gleaming from the fresh tears, but spoke with a steady voice. "For three years, I have watched over the ruins of the man you claim to love. Can you think of no reason I might want to speak with thee?"

"The only reason I can think is to ask me to leave him again. To leave him to you." Jensen's hand clenched at his side, tension radiating through his body.

For the first time, Tom exuded true menace-- his fists clenched and expression turned to a scowl. "I hoped for better. If I were the one Jared loved, what might you want of me?"

"To take care of him. To be sure he was cared for, loved and put above all else," Jensen said.

Tom's expression softened, and his body position relaxed. "You hurt him to the point where he considered leaving this world. How could I let him go back to you without at least once looking you in the eye?"

Jensen shrugged, a bit of the tension fading. "I am not at all certain how you can let him return to me at all." The words were quiet, haunted with memories of the past. "I do not know how much he told you, but I did what I did to protect him. He has ever been first in my world, though he would argue that."

"He loves you," Tom said. "I cannot make him happy. Is that not reason enough?"

"It might not be for most people." Jensen twisted his hands together. "I do love him, Tom. I have never loved anyone else. Jared will be loved and cared for with me."

"Those things he dreams of... you will give them to him?" Tom asked softly. "That house he spoke to me of..."

"Yes," Jensen choked the word out. "Yes, those were things we'd longed dreamed of and planned for." He rubbed at his eyes, the sting of tears robbing him of his composure.

"For whom do you cry?" Tom demanded. "You can have those dreams... can you cry for me?"

"Yes, I can. For you could have had that with him had this not been the theatre you two stopped at. I also cry for the lack of those dreams coming true these last years, for the pain I put him through." Jensen surrendered to tears completely, torn between running and leaving Jared to the love and care of this obviously good man and staying to fight for his own.

"You still do not understand," Tom said. "If I thought I might give him what he wishes, not you nor any other could tear me from him. I would kill you where you stand before allowing it. But he and I cannot share those dreams. Do you truly not see?"

Jensen shook his head. "See what? I have seen you together and you were happy, smiling and playing and enjoying each other. I am sorry for coming between that. I had thought this theatre far enough removed from where he might roam."

Tom stared at him long and hard, before nodding. "Now, I see. You act as Jared did after his face was injured."

"How do you mean?" Jensen truly had no idea what Tom spoke of.

Tom lifted his chin and frowned. "I've seen how Jared doubted himself after he was hurt. And you doubt yourself the same way. Why?"

Blinking at Tom, Jensen looked away and cleared his throat. "I have never deserved him or his love, did not truly appreciate how it was everything in the world, until it was gone. I have hurt him. How can I possibly be worthy of him?"

"Only you can decide how best to be worthy of him. Never run from him again and love him as he deserves... that is all I ask."

"You have my word on that, Tom." Jensen felt wrecked by their conversation. "I truly am sorry for your pain."

"I do not want your apologies," Tom said roughly. "Fare thee well, Jensen Ackles. I wish to God I had never met thee." He disappeared into the night.

Jensen's voice caught in his throat, tears welling up again while he watched Tom walk away. He fought them back viciously, swiping at his eyes with both hands and then continuing on to the inn. There was ale in his future tonight, a large quantity.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	5. Together

Jared sat in one of the back booths of the Inn, cradling a cup of warm mead in his hands. He did not drink the fragrant brew, staring at the wall across from him in a kind of trance. Tom had been gone when he awoke, leaving a painful gap where once his friend and lover had been. Yet, Jared understood and wished him luck and happiness. Now, while he sat, waiting for Jensen, he prayed that he had made the right choice.

Jensen laughed with Lord Anderson, leading the man to the back entrance of the Inn, while he prepared to entertain some potential backers. They were new men looking into the theatre and had pestered Anderson for weeks about meeting the 'star' of the company. Jensen just hoped Jared was there already, the two days, combined with Tom's visit, having taken a toll.

Jared watched Jensen enter with his patron and narrowed his eyes. How well Jensen played even the role he most despised. Jared could not help but wonder if a man willing to put that much effort into the one role he really disliked could just give up his craft.

Scanning the room as surreptitiously as possible, Jensen eyes finally landed on Jared. His grin widened when he took in the way Jared sprawled in the booth, large hand curved around a mug, making it look tiny in comparison. He mouthed 'hello' before turning to Anderson and making his excuses. There would be time enough to see the patrons after he greeted Jared.

Jared sat up when Jensen approached, wishing he could greet his lover properly with a kiss. Instead, he smiled a secret smile for Jensen and said, "Tis a pleasure to see you again, Jensen. I trust this night finds you well."

"That it does, Jared. I hope the same is true for yourself. Are you enjoying your evening thus far?" Jensen's eyes sparkled for Jared even in the low candlelight of the bar. He wanted nothing more than to sink into the booth and just curl into Jared. "I should not be more than an hour until done. You will be here?"

"Not as much as I expect to enjoy my evening later," Jared answered with a honeyed tongue. He glanced at the table containing Jensen's soon to be companions. "I should be wary with them," he said, and a trace of the new, tougher Jared flashed.

Jensen turned to look at the men, decked out in their finery. "It should be fine and then we can be alone to celebrate our evening together." He reached out a hand and quickly slid a finger over Jared's jaw. "See you soon, my Jared," Jensen whispered and then was gone.

He moved to the other table, greeting the men and ordering another round of drinks, some food and slowly getting them to open up and be comfortable around him. Jensen's gaze strayed to Jared's table every few minutes, checking on him.

One of the gentlemen's, Jack, words suddenly penetrated his thoughts, and Jensen turned and shook his head with a small frown. "I am not for sale. The only thing on offer here is the theatre."

Jared's keen eyes caught Jensen's sudden frown, and he leaned forward to watch more intently. Three years as a common laborer, frequenting rough places, had taught him all the signs of an oncoming dispute. And this particularly bejeweled man looked like he did not understand the concept of 'no.'

Jack scoffed at the refusal, his eyes flashing with desire for Jensen. "I have heard that anything in this building is for sale for the asking. So, tell me what that gorgeous ass of yours is worth." He placed a hand on Jensen's arm and squeezed.

Jensen shook, mouth dropping open. "I have never been for sale and demand that you unhand me this instant."

Jared tensed, watching Jensen for signs of distress. He saw the rigid body position, head shaking a disgusted 'no.' He saw the other man reject the answer, looking at Jensen like a ripe piece of fruit.

"And I think we ought to ask Lord Anderson whether or not you are bought and paid for. I was merely being polite in offering you your own take." Jack smiled, hand clamping around Jensen's forearm. "Now, you shall be leaving with me, and your performance will strongly sway the decision for future funding."

Shaking his head, Jensen tugged at his arm, not managing to break the hold. "I do not care what you think; I am not to be bought. Now, let me go."

Jared rose from his seat and strode across the pub, scattering other customers in his wake. His face twisted in a menacing scowl, made all the worse by the jagged scar, and both his fists swung clenched by his side, familiar with fighting and ready to defend his Jensen. "Your evening with Master Ackles has come to an end," he said, grabbing the offending man's arm and twisting him off Jensen. He grasped Jensen with his free hand and tugged him up and out of the way, safe behind Jared's impressive form.

Jensen had not expected to be moved, though he was glad to have his arm back. He rubbed at the spot where Jack had clamped, leaving marks behind. "Jared, thank you for coming quickly. Please, let me say good evening." Jensen leaned around him, frowning at Jack and his companion.

Jared glanced over his shoulder at Jensen, half-amused and half-concerned that his love thought the encounter would end so easily. When Jack, obviously furious at Jared's interruption, stood and swung wildly at him, Jared easily blocked the punch and shoved the man back in his seat.

Eyes wide and head swiveling wildly between the two men, Jensen stepped back and looked for Lord Anderson. There was no sign of him, so he turned back to Jack. "Good evening, not that you deserve such pleasantries after your boorish behavior. I hope that you find Lord Anderson and get this straightened out. As I said a moment ago, I have and will never be for sale." Glaring at the man, Jensen rested his hand on Jared's elbow to pull him away.

Jack sneered from his position at the table. "Your troupe will never play here again. I shall speak to Lord Anderson about you." He glanced at Jared. "And your catamite."

Jared smiled a cold and unpleasant smile. "I do not suppose you wish to stand up and repeat yourself?"

Jensen blinked at Jack and then at Jared, eyes wide at this new side to his lover. "I would watch what I say, were I you. Lord Anderson has tossed many men out for assuming what you have. I am well respected in this town, this Inn and this theater. Do you really wish to put yourself in a position where I could call you out for a lover of men?"

Jared's expression tightened ever further. He noticed the color drain from Jack's face, before he looked down at his plate and muttered something inaudible. Satisfied that the incident was over, Jared pulled away and walked back to his own table.

Watching Jared go, Jensen sensed something was wrong. He gave Jack one last hard glance and then turned to find Lord Anderson. This was not going to continue. It took a few moments to located the other man, discussing something with two more of the cast members. He waited patiently for their discussion to end and Lord Anderson to acknowledge him. "Anderson. The gentlemen tonight were the end. I am sick of being propositioned and harassed. You can find yourself someone else to be the face of this company. I am through." Jensen dipped his head and turned back to find Jared, leaving the spluttering Lord behind.

Jared watched Jensen approach and leaned back in the booth. He loosened his grip from around his still full mug and pushed it away. "Good eve."

"Good eve. Shall we leave?" Jensen did not want to stay and hoped Jared wanted to go with him.

"Together? Do you not think I should wait and follow you up later?" Jared asked. "Or do you not mind being called a lover of men?"

"Come with me or not. It is your choice. I am asking you to join me, to walk out of here with me, now." Jensen stepped back, not in the mood for discussing it in the pub, nor in the mood to hide any longer.

Jared lifted an eyebrow, but stood next to Jensen. "Well, I can scarce refuse such persuasiveness."

Jensen turned and led the way through the pub to the back stairs, showing Jared a route he already knew. "Thank you for joining me." He stepped up to the door, unlocked it and held it open for Jared to enter first.

Jared turned to look at Jensen, drinking him in with his eyes. "You thought I would refuse?"

"I was not certain after you left the table so abruptly." Jensen moved into the room, closing the door behind him and latching it shut. He leaned against it and breathed out.

Jared stepped forward and ran his roughened fingers over the planes of Jensen's face, memorizing the skin. "I understood you wished to ensure that man cease harassing you, but did you need to threaten him thus? Why perpetuate the hatred of people like ourselves?"

"It is a fact in a place like this. Small towns have always been thus, and it was the only way to ensure he left me alone." Jensen tilted his face into Jared's touch. "I have heard of places where people do not care so much. That while it is not accepted, it is ignored. Have you ever thought of going to a place like that?"

Jared trailed his fingers over Jensen's lips and then leaned down to kiss him, sucking on his lower lip. "A place we could go and live together unnoticed."

Jensen slid into the kiss, hands coming to rest at Jared's waist. "Yes, we can live together, be together…" He pressed in close and opened his mouth to Jared.

Jared took his cue and claimed Jensen's mouth with growing hunger. He lifted the back of Jensen's tunic and slid his hands under to caress the warm skin. "I have a little money saved and can find work anywhere. I'll work harder than ever before for us."

"I can find work too; I have had to tend the public room before. Maybe I can find a place that will let me work and provide us with a room of our own." Jensen shivered under Jared's hands, tugging and pulling at his lover's shirt until he could reach the broad expanse of warmth beneath.

Jared stepped back and pulled off his tunic, tossing it to the floor. He pressed back against Jensen, nibbling his bottom lip and then kissing him again. "Our own room. Such a little thing, but how wonderful."

Shivering again, Jensen kissed Jared hard and then pushed him back slightly. "Give me a moment, love." When Jared stepped further back, Jensen stripped out of his shirt, first removing and letting the suspenders hang at his side. "Touch me, Jared, please. It has been far too long."

Jared smiled and reached out his long arms, ghosting his fingers over Jensen's chest. He paid close attention to pebbled nipples and the area just above his waistband. "Far too long."

Jensen shuddered and gripped Jared's biceps. "I never thought to touch you again. Not in my deepest dreams." Leaning in, he pressed a soft kiss to the corner of Jared's mouth before sliding his lips down his jaw to his throat.

Jared drew Jensen close and used his strength to pull the slightly shorter man up on his toes, off balance, while he sucked and bit at his nape and shoulders. "I dreamed all the time, but never thought to see it come true. I tortured myself with images of you and other men." He bit down on his previous mark, sucking it fresh again.

Writhing against Jared, Jensen gasped at the flaring pain and the way it sent a bolt of heat flashing through his cock. "There was never anyone else for me, not in my heart."

"You like it when I do that," Jared whispered. "You always want me to be rough." He trailed kisses down Jensen's neck and then sunk to his knees, resting his head against a warm stomach.

Jensen threaded his hands through Jared's hair, looking at him with eyes at half mast. "I know not why I like it so much, but when you do that it is like a jolt through me."

Jared rubbed his cheek against the bulge at Jensen's groin and then mouthed the area through his pants. "I want to... may I?"

"Please." Jensen's hips hitched forward, pressing into the pressure against his cock.

Jared pulled back and smiled up at Jensen. "Take them off for me, Jen," he said, leaning back on his heels. "I want to watch you."

Reaching out, Jensen slipped each button out of its hole, not teasing, but taking his time nonetheless. With easy movements, he wriggled the material down past his hips and let the material flutter to the ground. They were followed closely by the long underwear beneath until he stood in all his naked glory before Jared.

Jared knelt low and kissed the arch of each foot, before trailing soft kisses up his legs. Eventually, he bit at the back of Jensen's left knee and sucked another mark. "So long as man remains free, he strives for nothing so incessantly and painfully as to find someone to worship," Jared whispered. "How fortunate that I have found someone."

Jensen trembled at the words, the weight of Jared's gaze and love pressing in on him. He welcomed it, reveled in it, but still found himself trying to adjust to having it. "It is my fortune to have found a man as wonderful as you."

"Jensen," Jared murmured and raised himself back to his knees. He pressed a kiss to Jensen's inner thigh and bit down. "I love you."

"Oh!" Jensen's cock jerked at the bite, his breath whooshing out hard. "I love you, too. You are the only man for me." Pounding his fist against the wall, he choked on a breath.

Jared reached up and cupped Jensen's fist in his. "Do not hurt yourself, Jen." He licked the bite mark and then the head of Jensen's cock, enjoying the flavor exploding on his tongue. Putting his free hand on Jensen's hip to hold him, he took the head of his cock in his mouth and began to suck.

Unfurling his fist, Jensen twined his fingers between Jared's and held on tight. It took all of his effort not to slam his hips forward into his lover's mouth. The wet heat left him trembling with memory, unable to believe Jared was truly with him.

Jared stretched his hands over Jensen's hips and encouraged him to thrust. He would never tell Jensen, but he often did this for Tom, who had been built bigger and thicker than Jensen. But not as beautiful. He sucked harder, remembering what Jensen enjoyed.

Jensen let Jared guide him, hips moving forward and back in time with the hands holding him. He would not push harder or faster than Jared guided for fear of hurting his lover. His fingers dug in and tugged at the longer strands of Jared's hair.

Jared pulled off with a soft pop and smiled up at Jensen. "Do not hold back, Jen. Take what you need from me."

"But you do not like it rough, my Jared. I would not hurt you." Jensen clutched at the wooden door, trying to not strain his hips forward for Jared's mouth.

"You want to force me to suck you, Jen?" Jared asked, nuzzling his cock and reaching back to stroke his balls. "Hold me by the hair and make me take you?"

"No," Jensen denied, head rolling back and forth. "Want to thrust into your mouth, want you to suck me as hard as you can."

"Yes, you can have that, Jen," Jared said. He opened his mouth and slid all the way down, sucking hard. His hands pushed on Jensen and then pulled him back.

Jensen gripped Jared's head in his hands, long fingers curling through the silky hair. He followed the gentle movements and pulled his hips back, before sliding his cock into Jared's mouth again. The suction was nearly his undoing once Jared closed around every bit of him.

Jared tugged at Jensen's hips, hoping he would give in and take what he needed. He knew how tight a grip Jensen kept on himself at times. Pulling off again, he said, "Please, Jen."

"What, Jay? What?" Jensen heaved a shaky breath in, letting it flow out slowly. "I need you, please do not stop now. Please."

"Not stopping. Want you to take what you need. Come, Jen." Jared swallowed him whole again and began to suck quickly and hard.

Jensen thrust his hips harder and faster after Jared's permission. He still was not pushing as hard as he could, but it was exactly what he wanted and needed. His hands held tight to Jared's head, curling around his scalp and gripping him in pleasure.

Satisfied that Jensen finally took what he needed, Jared worked on bringing him to climax. He sucked until he thought his jaw might fall off and used his strength to increase the force and speed of Jensen's thrusts.

Jensen lost himself to the movements, letting Jared guide him even now. He choked on a breath when Jared swallowed around his cock, where it sat deep in Jared's throat. "Jared!" Jensen bit off a scream, while thrusting again and again, his orgasm overtaking him and pulsing deep into Jared's throat.

Jared swallowed the warm, salty fluid and then kissed Jensen's thigh, before standing to kiss his mouth. He cupped Jensen's ass in both hands and parted the cheeks to stroke between them.

Jensen kissed Jared back, tasting himself in Jared's mouth. The intensity of Jared's fingers stroking lightly between his cheeks, bumping into and over his hole made Jensen tremble and moan. "Please, inside me, Jared. Please."

Jared twisted his head and bit Jensen's earlobe, tugging on it gently. "Yes, Jen, but not yet." He tugged Jensen away from the door and led him over to the bed, pressing him down. "Not yet." Looming over Jensen, Jared looked him over. "You are perfect, Jen. I am not so perfect anymore."

"You are ever perfect, my Jared." Jensen reached up and traced a finger over the scar on Jared's face. "This mark has little to do with your beauty. Everything you are inside is who I love."

Jared pushed against the finger and his eyes fluttered shut. He pressed down to find Jensen's lips and kissed him deeply and sweetly. "Thank you."

Jensen returned the kiss, his hand cupping Jared's face as he settled into the bed. "There is no need for thanks, for all I see when I look at you is the man I have loved forever. Now, please... I need to feel you over me and inside me. Do not make me wait, I beg of you."

Jared kissed him silent and then worked off his own pants, kicking them to the floor. His underclothes soon followed, and he stretched over Jensenm fully nude. Scars and scratches covered his well-muscled frame, including a long one through his left nipple. Latching back on to Jensen's mouth, he kissed them both breathless before starting a long, meandering journey down his body.

Jensen responded to every touch, body arching into Jared. He whined softly in the back of his throat when Jared licked and sucked at his nipple, bringing it to an aching hardness that renewed the stirring in his cock. He wanted everything, right now.

Jared would not be sped up, despite Jensen's urging. He wanted to enjoy his lover, now returned to him, and would not miss a single inch. Each nipple was sucked to rigid hardness and then loving attention was paid to Jensen's stomach. He laved each thigh and finally parted them far enough to find his way back.

Jensen spread his legs at the merest hint that Jared wanted between them. He bent his knees, planted his feet on the mattress and pressed into the touches Jared lavished on his body.

"Roll over, Jensen," Jared said, pushing at him. "I want your ass."

Flushing at the words, Jensen ducked his head and turned onto his stomach. He wrapped his arms around the pillow and buried his face in it, while pushing his hips up and back at Jared.

Jared bit both sides of Jensen's ass before kissing each mark. He carefully eased Jensen's hips back to the bed and then licked up his spine to the base of his neck. "Mine," he growled and bit possessively at the join of neck and shoulder.

"Yours, Jared. Always." Jensen writhed against the bed, his cock throbbing as he rubbed it into the mattress. He did his best not to push back against Jared, not demand more from him than he was willing to give, when he was willing to give it.

"Are you ready again?" Jared asked, a hint of amusement in his voice. He reached under Jensen to stroke his cock gently. "So quick for one your age."

"It has been so long, and only you have ever made me feel this way." Jensen groaned and pressed his cock into Jared's hand, clutching at the sheets.

"Should I make you come again, Jen?" Jared whispered, still stroking. "Should I have you pliant and relaxed beneath me when I take you?"

Jensen whined in his throat, hips working into Jared's hand. "I am at your mercy."

Jared hissed and pressed a kiss to the back of Jensen's neck. "Are you? Would you really allow me to do what I want with you?" He dragged a nail over the head of Jensen's cock and smeared the slight moisture there around.

"Anything." Jensen shuddered under Jared's touch, his words soft and body tense.

Shivering at the power placed in him, Jared pressed himself against Jensen's body and held him tightly. "You should not say such things to me."

"I am yours, in heart, body and soul, my Jared. It has been thus since the day I met you." Jensen trembled under Jared.

Responding to the words, Jared tilted Jensen's head to kiss him. When he finished, Jared slid down, and spread Jensen open to lick, kiss and bite. Finally, he slid his tongue inside Jensen and twisted in deep.

Jensen bit the pillow, screaming, while he arched and heaved under Jared's touch. It had been so long since he'd felt the pleasure of Jared's tongue on and in him. He could do nothing more than hold on.

Worried by the intensity of the reaction, Jared pulled back and held Jensen. "Jen, are you all right?"

"Yes, yes," Jensen groaned the words, licking his lips from the dryness of biting at the pillow. "Please," he cried again.

Jared returned to what he had been doing, stroking Jensen's cock in time. He used his long tongue to best effect, remembering all the things Jensen enjoyed. His big hands kept Jensen from smashing in his nose with wild, off kilter thrusts.

Jensen writhed and trembled, body surging under Jared's attention. He wasn't sure how much longer he'd be able to hold out, keep from coming all over himself and the bed. "Please, Jared."

Jared timed his strokes with both tongue and hand, trying to bring Jensen to another climax. He could scarcely believe all the noise Jensen made, loving how helpless his lover was under his attentions.

Jensen panted, head turned on the pillow as he tried to catch his breath. Jared was around him, everywhere, and he couldn't hold back no matter how hard he tried. A few strokes more and Jensen came, biting at the pillow again and pulsing over Jared's hand.

"I love you," Jared said as he pulled away. "Oh God, Jensen, how I love you." He settled between Jensen's legs and thrust between his thighs. After just a few moments, he orgasmed over both them and the bed below.

Reaching one hand back to Jared's hip, Jensen rode out the thrusts. He held on tight and thrilled to the way Jared dragging along his body left him sensitized and hungry for more. He'd almost forgotten how good they were together.

Going limp and relaxed against Jensen, Jared buried his face in Jensen's neck and breathed out deeply. A few stray tears leaked out of his eyes and trickled over Jensen's warm skin. "Jen. Jen."

"My Jared." Jensen moved into the bed, wriggling under Jared and wanting to turn so they could cuddle together. He could feel the tears, and his stomach clenched with worry that Jared regretted their time together.

Jared rolled off to one side and pulled Jensen close again. He looked into Jensen's eyes, his own still brimming with tears. "Are we truly to be together from now on?"

"If you want." Jensen curled himself around Jared, twining their bodies together and wiping at the stray tears with his fingertips.

Jared nuzzled his fingers, pressing kisses to them while they wiped away his tears. "I once swore I would never cry for you again. You hurt me, and I cried 'til my insides dissolved. Now, I'm crying because you make me so happy."

"I am sorry that I made you cry. I knew my leaving would hurt you, but I thought you would get over me." Jensen sighed softly and turned his face into Jared's hand.

"How could you think so?" Jared asked softly. "I love you, Jensen. Have always loved you. Five years of anger, yet it only took five moments with you to forget to be angry and love you again."

"I did not think that you would continue to feel for me." Jensen hung his head and burrowed into his lover. "I thought I would be easy to get over. A man like you is born to love and be loved, and I knew you would find someone else." _Like Tom._ he thought.

"Easy? Why would you think so?" Jared slid his leg between Jensen's and fitted them together completely. "I was made for you."

"Because I was never good enough for you, never deserved you." Jensen stroked his hands softly up and down Jared's back and arms, touching everywhere he could.

Jared sighed and nipped Jensen's neck tiredly. "If you were not good enough for me, then why have I willingly come into your life, your bed? Twice."

Jensen sighed and curled tighter around Jared. "Because I am the luckiest man in the world."

Melting, Jared sought out Jensen's mouth and kissed him again. "We are the luckiest men, Jen."

"That we are, my love." Jensen pressed into Jared's kiss, cupping a hand to his cheek. "And we have the rest of our lives ahead."  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jared walked through the crowded London streets, politely greeting people he knew on his way home. After seven years in the city, he was familiar with most of the locals in the area he and Jensen lived. They scrimped and saved for the first few hardscrabble years until they had enough money for a small place of their own, above the bar Jensen ran.

Learning more about his trade, Jared soon became a skilled laborer, much in demand for his fine woodworking and his handiness around most tools. He built up a broad clientele, wandering between the rich and poor areas of the city. Between himself and Jensen, they made a good living, more than enough to support them both and save for the future.

And that was the key to Jared's happiness- the future he and Jensen shared. His lover finally seemed to believe that Jared would not leave him and accepted demonstrations of his affection in public as well as private. Despite their long time together, their passion seemed to grow, not wane, with each passing day.

Trotting up the stairs, Jared opened the door, called, "Jensen," and began to strip out of his dirty work clothes.

Jensen finished moving around the kitchen, the stew bubbling away while he grabbed bread and cheese from the side board. "In the kitchen, my Jared." he called out. "Dinner's almost ready." He tore off two hunks of bread, putting them on the table before he stepped back to look over everything. "Mead or ale?" he asked.

Jared stepped out of his pants and wandered into the small kitchen area. He wrapped his arms around Jensen and pressed a kiss to the crook of his neck. "Hello, my Jen." He looked over the dinner with a smile. "Smells wonderful. I'll get myself some mead."

"Get me some, too, please?" Jensen wrapped his arms around Jared's arms and snuggled into the solidity of the body around him. "Did you have a good day?" He finally released Jared and went to get their spoons and a hunk of butter.

Jared poured them both a full mug of mead, carrying them back to the table and placing one before each setting. He pulled Jensen into a deep kiss, before sitting down. "I did some work on the new inn up by the theatre. They are trying to attract a higher class of folk."

"They are?" Jensen was curious, though he'd not done any theatre in a number of years. "I am glad that you've gotten work there; I am sure that your skill will be well put to use." He responded to the kiss and then settled into his seat, ankles twining with Jared's.

"Do you have time to give me a bath before going to work?" Jared asked, smiling innocently at Jensen while he dug into his food.

Jensen stuttered over his food, choking softly and fanning his mouth at the heat. "A bath? I do not know. I think it depends on how quickly you can eat and how in depth it will be." He glanced up at Jared through his lashes.

Jared sighed and slid lower in his seat, rubbing his bare foot up Jensen's leg. "Alas, you prefer your job to time with me. Woe." He smiled teasingly and ate more of Jensen's delicious stew.

"Preference has nothing to do with it, my Jared. As you well know." Jensen moaned around the piece of bread and pressed his leg against Jared's foot. "If I could, I would spend all of our time together, but we need to earn a living in order to keep all of this to ourselves." He waved his hand about their modest home.

Jared shifted his foot higher to caress the bulge of Jensen's cock through his pants. "This I know, my Jen. I merely wish our current schedules synced better."

"That would be ideal." Jensen grunted and shifted his hips forward, lifting them against Jared's foot, while his cock grew and throbbed in response. "Unfortunately, I do not have anyone I can trust to manage the evenings downstairs. When I train one of the others, I can move to days."

Jared sighed and removed his foot. "I suppose I shall be asleep again by the time you crawl into bed with me." He took another bite of stew, enjoying the rich flavor. "I saw our old troupe today."

Jensen nodded and frowned at Jared. "I shall endeavor to be home before you sleep, at least for a short time. Either that, or you can wake me in the morning before you leave." He looked down and played with his stew for a moment. "Are they doing well?"

"They are to play at the theatre this week." Jared leaned forward and took Jensen's right hand in his. "We should speak with them, Jensen. We should tell them the truth about the past."

"I do not want to see them, Jared." Jensen stiffened, pulling back from Jared and shoveling another bite into his mouth. "I disappointed them, abandoned them and cannot believe they would want to see me."

"That is not the same as not wanting to see them," Jared said softly. He slid off his chair and knelt next to Jensen, leaning his arms against Jensen's knees. "Do you not think they might yet worry about where you went? About what happened to both of us? They know I went to search for you, but nothing since."

"I thought you would have kept in contact with them over the years." Jensen reached down and curled one hand over the back of Jared's head. "How can they possibly want to see me after I left all of you without word?" He closed his eyes and dropped his chin to his chest in defeat.

"I lost touch with everyone when I went searching for you. My family had not heard from me until we moved to London." Jared stretched up, tilting Jensen's chin so he could kiss him sweetly. "They deserve the truth, even this late. And I shall be by your side, my Jen."

Jensen returned the kiss a bit woodenly. "I do not know that I can, my Jared. It is too much to see them and the theatre. They must revile me."

Jared sighed and drew Jensen into his arms, holding him tightly. "If truly you are against the idea, then I shall face them alone."

Jensen clung to Jared, face pressed into the crook of his neck. "I cannot see them. Please, do not force me to face them." Jensen dug his fingers in hard and tight to the strength of Jared's shoulders.

Times like this reminded Jared that Jensen still doubted his self-worth and feared being faced with the scorn and anger of others. He pressed a soft kiss under Jensen's ear and whispered, "I will never force you to do anything, my Jen. You must know this by now."

"I do." Jensen burrowed his face into Jared's shoulder and nodded. "I do. Thank you. Please, love me. I need you." He pressed a hot kiss to Jared's throat, tongue flicking over his skin.

Jared hissed, surprised by the sudden change in his lover. He did not argue, however, merely lifted Jensen and himself to their feet and stumbled to their bed. Lying Jensen down, he quickly opened the front of his tunic and trousers to kiss and lick at the bared skin, while stroking his cock.

Jensen rolled his hips and clung to Jared. His head tilted back on a thankful groan, knowing that Jared was taking care of him. He spared a thought to regret that Jared still needed to take care of him.

Jared kissed Jensen's open mouth, whispering, "I love you," repeatedly, while he continued to worship his lover's cock. He worked Jensen with all the skill born of years together, wanting to bring him off hard and fast, so he could recover in time for work. Still, he made sure he put extra care in his touch, so Jensen also felt loved. Sliding down, he took Jensen deep in his mouth.

Jensen rolled his hips, confident from their years together that thrusting in and out of Jared's mouth was more than acceptable. He grabbed at the bed and pulled hard, moaning and groaning, when he felt his orgasm rushing up fast and strong, as only Jared could do to him.

Jared hollowed his cheeks, shutting his eyes and enjoying the scent and sound and taste of Jensen. He never tired of these sensations, no matter how often they were together. He reached under Jensen to finger his sacks and then back further to penetrate slightly into his ass.

Jensen groaned again, pressing his hips back so that Jared's finger would slide deeper inside him. "Oh, God," he groaned as he rolled his head on the pillow. "So good. So perfect." Jensen cried out again as his hips hitched up erratically into the wet heat of Jared's throat.

Jared took the erratic thrusts with practice, knowing they were the beginning of the end for Jensen. He wiggled his finger deeper until he found the small gland and stroked over the bump with each thrust.

Crying out, Jensen thrust up hard, coming fast and deep down Jared's throat. He moaned Jared's name over and over while he trembled and shook.

Jared swallowed quick and fast and then crawled back up to lie beside Jensen. He stroked Jensen's face with gentle fingers. "I did not know the past still weighed so heavily upon you. 'Tis been a long time since you needed such reassurance of my love."

"I am sorry, my love. It is not often that I worry." Jensen leaned into the stroking fingers, curling against Jared's tall frame. "They were just such dark times, and the thought of losing you scares me to my core."

Jared pressed sucking kisses to the side of Jensen's jaw. "I know. We should finish eating, so you can go downstairs."

Jensen nodded and turned his head to take Jared's mouth with his own, pressing his tongue inside to taste and tease and give his lover something back. "Can I do something for you?"

"I want you tonight... in me. Wake me when you return?" Jared stroked his tongue against Jensen's sweetly, before rolling off the bed and to his feet.

"Yes, anything." Jensen sighed softly, letting his eyelids flutter shut for a brief moment. "I do hope your stew is not too cold. You must be near to starving now." He pushed himself up, berating himself for distracting Jared, for needing him so much. Standing, Jensen stroked Jared's arm. "You could come down for a bit as well. Sit at the end of the bar."

Jared smiled at him and nodded. "After I take a bath. Nothing your patrons want more than a laborer stinking up the place." He kissed Jensen again, pulling him close and rubbing sensually against him.

Humming, Jensen pressed into Jared. "Yes, but I want you there, stinking or no. Always want you with me." He slid his lips over Jared's and then pulled back and swatted Jared's ass. "Now go get some food, my big hungry laborer."

Jared caught Jensen's arm and pulled him along. "You should finish eating, too. A long night of leering barmaids and joking commoners awaits you. All wishing you were theirs."

Jensen flushed in embarrassment. "I am no one's but yours, forever and always. But, I will come eat as well."

Jared reached down and retied Jensen's breeches, chuckling at his blush. He sat down, pulling Jensen into his lap. "I remember a beautiful miss asking if she might be your bride. One of your smiles made her day that bright."

Pressing another kiss to Jared's lips, Jensen pulled back on a chuckle. "She can dream all she wants, and I can bestow smiles upon all and sundry and not think of a single person besides you."

Jared fastened Jensen's tunic slowly, pressing a kiss to each piece of skin before covering it over. He paused on the top button and sucked a red mark into the flesh before sealing the material again. "If we are speaking of the past tonight, there is one more thing I must tell you. I saw Tom some weeks ago."

Jensen shivered at the new mark and stroked over Jared's shoulders. He tensed slightly at the mention of Tom, but was secure enough in Jared's love for him that it was a momentary flash. "And how is he? What has brought him to London?"

"He still travels, but he has a new partner. Short, like you, with very light hair and brown eyes. They are very much in love, it seems. Our meeting was sweet, but strained." Jared lifted his mouth to take Jensen's. "My only true regret."

"I am sorry that it is thus between you, though I am not sorry that you chose me." Jensen grinned and blushed, ducking his head into Jared's throat again. "I am also glad that he has found love, though I beg to differ that I am short, my Jared." He thumped Jared's shoulder lightly and then ripped off a piece of the bread, holding it to Jared's mouth. "Now, you must eat your dinner."

Jared took the bread in his teeth from Jensen's fingers, chewed and swallowed. "My little Jen," he teased, before opening his mouth for more.

Grinning, Jensen tore more bread, dipping it this time in the stew and cupping his hand beneath it after he carried it to Jared's mouth. "I love you," he murmured as Jared took the next bite.

Jared sucked on Jensen's fingers. Then, reluctantly, he pushed him toward his own chair. "You must also eat."

"I suppose I must." Jensen stood reluctantly, lifted Jared's chin with his fingers and kissed him sweet and slow. He moved over to his own seat, took a long sip of his mead and then began to eat. His stomach was aching a bit and he knew that he had to hurry to get downstairs on time. "Have you heard from your family recently?"

"Megan and her husband wish to visit us next month," Jared said.

Jensen stuffed a bite of the bread in his mouth, chewing slowly and thoughtfully. "I look forward to Megan's visit."

"She will bring Charles," Jared said, bouncing a little at the prospect of seeing his nephew. "He shall be three soon. We must make him a present. Just think, I am an uncle."

"You are an uncle, my Jared. A mighty fine uncle, and I know that Charles will love you." Jensen swallowed his mead down and tapped his fingers against the table. "I suppose you could make him a wooden toy, something from your hands."

Jared nodded eagerly. "I thought perhaps some wooden animals, large enough for a small child and smoothed down so as not to injure his fingers." He looked to Jensen for approval of his idea.

"I think that is a perfect idea." Jensen shoveled in a spoonful of the stew and sipped at his mead. "I think both wee Charles and his mother will be delighted for Uncle Jared to make him toys."

"They shall be stopping at the new Inn. I recommended it, and her husband, Joseph, is wealthy." Jared smiled ruefully and shook his head. "To think that I could too have been rich, if only I had acted as my parents wished."

Jensen sighed and nodded, this a sore spot between them. "Is that what you want? To go back and do what they want to have money?" He tilted his head and ripped off another piece of bread to nibble at. "You could always tell them what a horrible mistake I was."

Jared kicked him lightly. "Do not be a fool. I would not trade our life here for all the wealth in the world. You are yourself a dowry."

Jensen covered one of Jared's large hands with his own. "I hardly think I am a dowry, but I am glad that you consider me a treasure."

Jared gestured to his near empty bowl. "You cook, you clean, you are made to be stared at and at night, you keep me warm... what more treasure do I require?" He sipped the last of his mead and then stretched. "You best be off to tend your bar. I shall clean up, starting with myself." He tossed off his undergarments and moved to heat some water over the fire to wash himself down.

Jensen's eyes trailed Jared, cock thickening in his trousers again, while he watched the way his lover moved with unconscious grace. "You could do so much better than me, but I am glad that you find me so pleasing. I love you." He moved up behind Jared and pressed a line of kisses across his shoulders while hugging him around the waist. "See you in a few hours."

Jared reached back and tugged Jensen into him. He rubbed his ass gently against Jensen's cock. "Remember to wake me."

"If you remember to kiss me goodnight before you sleep." Jensen dragged one hand down to curl over Jared's cock, stroking up and down lightly and slowly. He pressed a kiss to Jared's throat and then moved back and crossed to their front door. "See you in an hour or two."  
~~~~~~~~~~

Jared went down to the bar after cleaning up their rooms and himself. He leaned against the far corner, in the half-dark, and watched Jensen tend customers with grace. Smiling at how far his shy lover had come in dealing with crowds, Jared called, "A pint of your best ale."

Jensen's smile notched up three levels at the sound of his lover's voice. He excused himself from a patron and turned to pull a pint for Jared, sliding it across the bar and leaning in. "Anything for you. How are you?"

"Perfect now." Jared leaned forward as well, daring Jensen to kiss him with a little smile.

Jensen took a deep breath and leaned forward to brush a light, soft kiss across Jared's lips before he leaned back on his heels. "And I am perfect, now that you are here with me." Jensen grinned and moved back down the bar, pulling pints and pouring drams when requested, his attention split between his clients and his lover.

Jared sipped his pint and kept watch over the bar, noting new and old patrons. Many of the locals returned every eve to share a pint and the gossip. Jared seldom joined in with them, his natural friendliness muted by tiredness and his desire to remain near Jensen.

Jensen chatted with the clientele when they came and went, some of the regulars pulling up to the bar, but more often than not he sent people on their way with their pints and watched them enjoying their evenings. He leaned on the end of the bar, in front of Jared with a smile, when there was a break in the crowd. "You look half asleep on your stool, my love. I think it is time for you to go up to warm our bed."

"How long before you may join me?" Jared asked, still nursing his pint. "I so hate to sleep alone."

"It is a light crowd tonight." Jensen turned to look out with a smile and then turned back and pressed another kiss to Jared's lips. "If they are an easy crowd, I should be up in an hour, maybe half past that at the latest. Now go on and get some sleep, before I wake you."

Jared sighed and pushed himself away from the wooden bar. "Yes, my lord. Shall I do anything else for your majesty?"

"Kiss me again before you go."

Jared smiled, leaned forward and kissed Jensen for a long moment. He pulled back just enough to nip his lover's nose and then turned around, walking toward the stairs. He waved a lazy farewell, before heading up and to bed.

Jensen flushed at the kiss, grinning to himself and then turning back to the bar. The regulars knew about them and came back anyway. Jensen had succeeded in doubling the pubs business and making it a haven for people like them. Occasionally, they would get the stranger coming through and trying to make trouble, but that rarely lasted in the face of so many people.

True to his ability to read the crowd, Jensen locked up and headed upstairs just over an hour after Jared left. It was an early night for him, and he looked forward to curling around his lover and actually sleeping with him for longer than just a few hours. Letting himself into their apartment, he made his way to their bed in the dark and stripped down slowly before crawling up the length of the bed from the bottom. He curled on his side to watch Jared in the sliver of light, stroking gently over his lover's chest to slowly wake him.

Jared's eyelids fluttered open, and he smiled sleepily up at Jensen. "Who is this fair stranger who comes to molest me in the night?" he whispered.

"'Tis only your love, come to you in the dark of night to give pleasure." Jensen rolled until he was propped over Jared, whispering endearments over his skin between kisses. Finally, he came to rest, lips pressed to Jared's before his tongue flicked out to seek entry. He knew that Jared needed his sleep, needed to work, but Jensen just could not find it in him to rush. Jared far preferred slow, gentle loving.

Jared tangled his hands in Jensen's silky hair and opened his mouth to grant his lover anything he wanted to take in his kiss. His legs parted naturally to allow access for warm hands. "Take me then."

Fumbling with the oil on the bedside table, Jensen continued to plunder Jared's mouth with his tongue. He reached down and stroked one finger gently over Jared's pucker, making sure to slick it well before he oiled the finger again and slid it in. Jensen took his time to feel the way Jared closed around him, gripping his finger. Taking his time, Jensen finally worked Jared up to three fingers, plunging in and out.

"Oh," Jared murmured. "Oh, sweet lover, are you come then to steal my innocence from me?" He spread his legs further, right foot dangling off the narrow bed. "For 'tis my dearest wish that you might."

"If you had innocence left, I would take it for my own. But as our lives are proof that yours is long gone, I will thrill you with the things we have already done together." Jensen chuckled and then slid himself down the bed, lips and teeth marking the way. He breathed out over Jared's cock, hot moist breath teasing it when he moved below to flick lightly at the join of thigh and hip. "Open for me, my love." Jensen pressed Jared's thighs even wider.

Jared sighed and managed to find a little more give in his legs. "I am not a contortionist, my own," he said. "And you are willfully ignoring the spirit of the moment." He shivered at the hot breath over his most sensitive parts.

Jensen chuckled and nipped at Jared's thigh, sliding his fingers out and pulling both long legs over his shoulders when he rolled his lover back. "That I am...for I want not of innocence, but crave the taste of you that I have known these many years." So saying, he flicked his tongue out, rolling over the thick oil he'd already spread and then pressing past and through to taste inside Jared.

Jared arched his back off the bed, giving lie to his earlier words about contortionism. He keened low in his throat, unable to help the sound. "You make me dizzy," he gasped, gripping tight to the bedclothes. "Has it really been so many years, for I still feel as if each touch is new to me."

Jensen pressed in deep, over and over before he pulled back to pant softly against Jared's thigh. "So long and never long enough." Resting a moment, Jensen finally pulled back and slid Jared's knees to his elbows, bending his lover nearly in half to line his cock up. A soft grunt escaped his mouth when he shifted his weight, and Jensen pressed in, letting the angle of their bodies slide him in and in until his hips rested snug to Jared's ass.

Jared relaxed easily into the familiar intrusion. Though Jensen favored the bottom position, Jared had convinced him to top more often in the past few years. Another step in the ongoing development of their relationship. Though their love remained constant, the nature of the way they interacted with each other and the world remained ever in motion. Smiling up at Jensen with shining eyes, Jared murmured, "Please, Jen, do not hold back this night."

"I do not want to hurt you." Jensen pulled back, cock sliding slow and steady from Jared's body until only the head remained inside and with a groan, Jensen hitched forward and slid all the way back in.

Jared felt a wash of familiar irritated amusement at his lover for being so contrary. Jensen always demanded as fast and hard as Jared could provide, but then refused to do the same when Jared asked. He fretted about hurting Jared in a way that made Jared love him more, even while wishing he could convince Jensen that he was not fragile. Did not the scars and very manner in which he made his living prove that? "Come, Jen, do not fear for me," Jared pleaded, pushing up with his hips.

Grunting at Jared's movement, Jensen slammed into him. He gripped the bed and pressed a kiss to his lover's mouth. "I fear for you, always." He pulled back out, faster this time and then thrust in harder than before. Jensen groaned low in his throat, the movements enhancing the tight squeeze of Jared around his cock. Again and again, Jensen repeated the motion, pulling out and sliding in, faster and harder each time. His head tipped back at the swirl of feeling it created.

Pleased with the effort Jensen made to answer his plea, Jared responded by throwing his entire body into the experience. His muscled form strained to meet every thrust and clenched tightly around his lover. His long neck fell back, and he let every pleasurable noise conceivable escape so Jensen understood how much this did not hurt. In fact, after being unsatisfied before and spending much of the evening in a low-level state of arousal, he could feel a tidal wave build up inside him.

Jensen thrust in response to Jared's sounds, deep and hard and fast as his lover writhed and cried out beneath him. Burying his face against Jared's throat, Jensen licked and bit while he pounded in and out of his lover.

Jared loved how much Jensen obviously enjoyed the entire experience almost more than his own pleasure. There was something soul-shattering about seeing Jensen lose control, knowing he, Jared, caused the transformation. When his brain swam with pleasure and his body sang with delight, he could still focus on watching his lover and revel in the sight.

Climax hit hard and sweet, shaking Jared and then releasing him in a rush. The bed trembled beneath the force, even as the timbers rattled from his cry. "Jen!"

Jensen's body went rigid above his lover while he held on and rode out the waves. Trembling, Jensen bit down on Jared's shoulder, hips snapping hard in response; once, twice and then it was over, his orgasm rushing through him and his cock shooting hard and deep inside his lover. When he could breathe again, Jensen pressed a hot kiss to Jared's throat and collapsed on top of him.

Jared breathed hard, his legs trembling as he eased them to the bed. He wrapped his arms tightly around Jensen and held him close. "Thank you."

Jensen smiled and curled himself into Jared for the space of a heartbeat before he groaned and pulled out of his lover's body. With a sigh, he pressed a gentle kiss over the mark on Jared's shoulder. "I can refuse you nothing, my love."

"Liar," Jared said without any heat. He turned halfway to meet Jensen, tangling their legs comfortably. "Tomorrow, I shall see if I may speak with our old troupe." He rubbed his scarred cheek on Jensen's arm.

Tightening his arms around Jared, Jensen acknowledged that there was one or two things he could say no to. "I hope they are all well and that your time with them is good."

"Mmhmm," Jared hummed into his ear, before sucking on the lobe. "May I tell them about us then?"

"Of course. We finished with keeping our relationship secret long ago." Jensen shivered against Jared, head tipping back on a soft moan at the bite. "Come now...no more of that or you will never get any sleep this night." The words were teasing and light, amusement and desire lacing them.

"I find it difficult to concentrate on sleeping," Jared confessed, biting a little lower down. "We have in truth let the world know, but not anyone important to you, my own. You do not mind now the gaze of strangers upon us, but never once have you tested yourself with those who knew you before."

Jensen shivered at the bite. "You are my before, my now and my forever. My family would never accept us; this we already know. And the troupe's appearance today is the first of anyone else I may have known."

Jared pinched one of Jensen's nipples and bit down on his neck at the same time. "I know, my own. And I am sorry that your family is so blind to the value you should have in their lives. Such things I do not comprehend, though my own has not been easy to convince."

"Tis life, my love. That is why I was so afraid when we were younger." Jensen arched and gasped at Jared's dual attack on him, his body thrumming with arousal. "Your sister is a beginning, and I am glad that she sees your value, that you have time with your nephew."

"She and I have ever been close," Jared said. "Always the troublemakers in our family, though she found respectability in our parent's eyes with her choice of husband." He slid down to bite Jensen's nipples, before sucking on them.

Jensen heaved in a breath, his body arching and hands grasping at Jared's head when his lover bit his nipple. He could feel his cock stirring yet again and with a groan, he pulled Jared's head back to look down at him. "You need your sleep, my troublemaker. I do not want you injured for lack of rest."

Jared smiled up at him and tugged forward to bite down on a nipple again. He watched Jensen with sparkling eyes while he sucked and chewed on the nub, clearly expressing his desire not to go back to sleep just yet.

"You will be the death of me," Jensen panted the words out, fingers delving into Jared's hair and holding on tight while riding out the sensations flooding through his body.

Jared bit down a little harder, careful not to wound, but knowing Jensen loved the feel of teeth. He released the swollen nipples with great reluctance and trailed more bites down to suck around his navel. There, he did leave a mark, right around the small indentation. "Death seems the farthest thing from your body right now, my own."

Jensen shuddered when the mark was raised, his cock fully erect now and throbbing. Jared had such a capacity to arouse him and sometimes Jensen wondered at it. Shaking off his thoughts, Jensen tipped his head back on the bed with a gasp and writhed under Jared.

Jared smile at Jensen's complete helplessness and continued his journey down to suck in his erection. He used a hint of teeth along the sensitive skin, alternating with powerful sucks. As much as he wanted to tease, Jensen was right; they needed to get some sleep. So, he went for fast, wet and messy.

Fast and wet and messy were about the best ways to make Jensen keen and thrash, his orgasm slamming into him while he tugged on Jared's hair. Jensen screamed his pleasure at the knife edge of a second orgasm so soon ripped through him. It left him gasping and clinging to Jared.

"Three in one night," Jared said contentedly, slipping back up with a please smile. A trace or two of semen stained his lips, but he licked them away. "Soon, I want to see just how many times I can give you pleasure in one night. Want to see what you look like when there is no more pleasure you can stand."

Jensen trembled and curled around Jared once his lover settled next to him. "The death of me, I say." His words were laced with a grin and a happy sigh. "I love you."

Jared kissed him gently and settled his head next to Jensen's. "Goodnight, my own." He shut his eyes and fell asleep.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	6. Forever

Jensen handed off a pint and then went back to cleaning the bar. His was one of the few truly clean places in London, but he could not stand to have things in disarray or sticky. He whistled while moving things around, content that his small crowd tonight was happy and satisfied. It was going to be a long night, and he was a bit worried since Jared had not come for dinner, though Jensen knew that he probably stayed with the old troupe for their meal.

Jared cracked the door and watched Jensen move easily and confidently around his bar. He glanced over his shoulder at the members of his old troupe and nodded. Leading them in, he walked straight to the bar. "Good eve, my own," he greeted Jensen, a trifle nervously. "I have brought a few people to see you."

Jared's voice brought a smile to Jensen's lips, and he turned without looking at anyone except Jared. He leaned across the bar to press a kiss to Jared's lips while his brain caught up to what Jared said. He pulled back and looked over Jared's shoulder, his face going pale when he saw the old troupe standing there. Jensen clutched at his towel and cleared his throat. "Hello," he murmured.

"Do not be afeared," Jared whispered in Jensen's ear, kissing the lobe gently. "They asked to see you. They were worried, not angry, my own. They wanted to tell you this and see you again for themselves." He squeezed Jensen's arm. "Perhaps I should tend bar while you speak with them?"

"I -" Jensen looked back and forth between Jared and the small crowd, one hand dropping down to grip Jared's arm. Jensen froze where he was, the faces before him so familiar and yet different, dear ones he'd missed. He flushed pink when he realized that he'd kissed Jared directly in front of them.

Nathaniel, Patrick, Henry, George, William and John all smiled at Jensen, their faces open and friendly. Behind them, a couple of younger men, the new leads, stood looking awkward. They had been told many tales of the two men who now stood at the bar, half-embracing. They felt themselves in the presence of people they wished to emulate, but could never quite reach.

"Jen, my own, do not be afraid. They know. They always knew about us." Jared nudged him gently and kissed his ear again. "Release my arm and go talk to them."

Jensen took a deep breath and forced himself to release his hold on Jared's arm and his towel. He nodded, his eyes never leaving the men in front of him when he stepped to the end of the bar and came around to the front. Stepping close to Jared, Jensen cleared his throat. "Good evening."

John laughed, his merry laugh of old, stepped right up and embraced Jensen. "I cannot tell you, lad, how glad I am to see you. I've missed you these past twelve years, Jenny-boy."

Trembling slightly, Jensen wrapped his arms around John and sobbed in relief. He closed his eyes and just held his dear friend and mentor. "I have missed you, too. All of you." Jensen looked up at the rest of the men and then let go of John to hug the rest of his friends before being introduced to David and Liam. Turning back to Jared, he grinned. "Let's get some pints set up for all."

Jared laughed and shook his head, heading behind the bar to set up the pints. "I shall tend bar, Jen. You go catch up. I have had part of the afternoon already to reminisce." He drew pints, handing them to the actors and shooing them toward a back table. "Go."

Jensen grinned. "Not yet." He reached out and pulled Jared to him, giving him a hard kiss and a soft 'thank you' before grabbing two more pints and heading to the table. His face flushed pink, and he smiled shyly at the group when he put the glasses down. "So, Jared told me that you are performing at the theater. What show are you doing?"

William looked over at Jared and then smiled at Jensen. "We are doing 'A Midsummer Night's Dream.' Perhaps you would like to perform with us?"

"Oh, I could not." Jensen's eyes widened and he shook his head slightly. "I am here most nights and do not have the assistance to take care of the place." He looked regretful for a moment, the pull of the stage strong. "Besides, it has been many, many years since I performed. How long shall you be in town? Do you still travel the old circuit?"

John and William glanced at each other. "Jared said he would take over your duties at the bar so you might perform at least once," William said.

John grinned and added, "Do not disappoint us, Jenny-boy. Jared would not even let us discuss having him on the stage again. We must have at least one of you for a day. Think of how wonderful it will be."

"Let me think on it. It has been many a year, my friends." Jensen sipped at his ale, not a luxury he allowed himself on most evenings and marveled at how simple it was to fall back into the laughter and teasing, stories and dreams. He put his mug down and leaned forward. "I must offer my regrets to you all. I should not have left the way I did, not without a word to you before or in the days after." His eyes telegraphed his regret, his pain.

John's expression sobered, even when he shook his head. "The person you most owed your apology to stands behind the bar, obviously having long since forgiven you. We were distressed to have lost you both, but more as a matter of worry over your fate than the money we may have lost."

The others nodded eager agreement, before Patrick said, "Though I admit to being hurt that you did not trust us more, even if I understand how it must have been hard for you. We knew about you and Jared, though you tried to keep yourselves to yourselves."

Jensen turned and looked at Jared, his smile soft. "Aye, he did forgive me once we had a chance to speak, even though it was five years late. You deserve to know the truth." He glanced back at the men around the table. "I left because a young girl threatened Jared. I knew not that anyone knew about us or supported us. All I knew was Jared was threatened, and the way I could protect him was to leave. It is not an excuse for leaving without word, but everything in my world was and is him."

John shook his head sadly at Jensen. "The boy was crushed, Jenny. But he stayed with us until the play's run was over before leaving to search for you." He smiled at the thought of the two men, twelve years ago. "I can well understand your wanting to protect him. But were you not thinking a bit of yourself as well?"

"No, not a thought for myself. All that mattered was keeping him safe." Jensen looked at John's smile, his own growing slightly. "I'd have walked to the ends of the Earth and then off if I thought it would save him. He is everything."

"Tis not to wonder then that your work together was so strong," William said. "'Twas love we saw on stage every night."

"Tell us though, if you would, what happened to Jared's face?" Henry asked, looking over to where Jared served customers. "We dared not to ask him."

Jensen looked at his lover, his smile falling. "After he stopped searching for me, he worked in the fields and was cut with a scythe in the course of his work."

The others murmured in soft regret.

"We were surprised to hear you left the stage, after you found each other again. Why did you leave, Jenny-lad?" John asked, stroking his chin thoughtfully.

Jensen turned bright pink and ducked his head. "Jared asked me what was more important, acting or a life with him. Since acting often took us to smaller towns and less tolerant places, we decided that being together was more important. It was an easy choice to make."

Patrick elbowed Henry and said, "The course of true love does run smooth, after all."

Laughing, Jensen tipped his head back. "Run smooth? We have done most everything besides run smoothly...at least, at the beginning. It has been smooth since we moved to the city together." He turned his full smile on all of the men. "How long did you know about us...before?"

John glanced at William, both of them obviously considering the question. Henry piped up suddenly, "You started to talk to him."

"What?" Jensen blinked at Henry and then looked back and forth between John and William, while he waited for confirmation.

John nodded once and smiled at Jensen. "You do remember, lad, that you did not once smile nor talk to Jared when first he joined us. And then one night, you and he spent all your time offstage in the other's company. Still, I do not think I thought so then... perhaps the night you lingered a little long through the kiss at the end of Henry V."

"Ah yes." Jensen blushed and looked at his hands.

"You disliked him," William said. "You were angry at me for bringing him in for the lead male roles." He sipped his drink and then smiled. "See though, how well you are... you are well?"

Jensen chuckled and nodded. "I - we are well. And you are right, I was angry with you. I wanted those roles, but I am so glad that you met him and brought him in. How has the troupe fared? How have all of you been?"

They all began to talk at once, about all the places they had traveled, the cheers and boos of the audiences, the successes and failures. They spoke of the players who joined and left, but how the core remained. And they spoke of how no other leads had ever matched the power of Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki. Finally, John said, "We have been well, lad. Perhaps not as rich as if you two had stayed, but well enough to be content."

"I would change my leaving for all if I could go back. It would change so many things, but perhaps not for the best." Jensen looked around the pub, smiled at Jared behind the bar. "We do well and are thinking of getting our own place; something we can own and handle that will support us."

John watched Jensen watching Jared. "Yes, you cannot know if you would still be together had you not left. You have reached a place where all has turned out well; do not look back with regrets."

Jensen shook his head. "No regrets, not in our lives. We will not look back -this time in our life is what is most important." His eyes slid back to Jared handling the customers as though the bar was his usual job. "How long shall you be in town?"

"A fortnight at least. Mayhap longer, if they like us. And if you join us for a few nights, they are sure to like us," John said.

Jared swept over to them, carrying a jug of mead to fill their glasses. "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts," he said, leaning down to kiss Jensen. "Take the part, my own."

Jensen curled his hand around Jared's head and held him for a deeper kiss. "Are you sure, my Jared? I do not want you working both day and night, so I can tread the boards again. That is not what our relationship is."

Jared nipped Jensen's nose. "Tis only for a few nights. I am strong enough still for such a sacrifice. And I'm sure we can find some way for you to repay me." He kissed him again, before whispering in his ear, "I should like to tie you up and blindfold you and do what I will."

Jensen shivered at Jared's words, the thought of them being uttered in their friends' presence leaving him embarrassed. "If you are most certain, my Jared, then I should love to take a night or two on the stage again. It has been a long time, but I dare say that a tiny bit of practice will bring it all back." Jensen turned his smile to the other members of the troupe, even while he plotted to find a way for Jared to join him.

Jared smiled and winked at the others, before returning to the bar. John leaned forward and said, "'Twill be a most wondrous night to have our Jensen back amongst us and playing at our sides again. Time will move backward and all of us shall feel twelve years have not passed by at all."  
~~~~~~~~~

Jared stared down at Jensen, his eyes glittering strangely in the dark. He tested the knots that secured Jensen's arms and legs to the bed posts and then checked on the blindfold. Satisfied with his work, he ran one finger down Jensen's naked chest. "You shouldn't have tried to run," he said in a deep, menacing tone.

Jensen shuddered under Jared's finger, the dark words curling through his body and stretching down to his toes. He curled his hands into fists and tugged uselessly at the bonds, his mouth falling open while he blinked in the inky blackness. It was their first foray into such games, and Jensen was not sure he would survive the night.

"Why did you try to escape?" Jared purred, pinching the inside of Jensen's right thigh just on the edge of painfully. "You know that makes me angry."

Gasping, Jensen arched up and then fell into the bed again. "No... I was not... I just... it was all too much." He shuddered again and tried to pull his legs together.

"Fighting me even now," Jared sighed, as if displeased. He reached down and grabbed Jensen by the hair, roughly pulling his head up. "By the end, I promise you, you'll be doing everything I say and loving it. Do you understand?" He kissed Jensen and bit down on his lower lip.

Jensen cried out, voice hoarse and hesitant when he was jerked forward. The bite of Jared's teeth made his cock twitch, and Jensen whimpered in pleasure and pain. He'd never felt the exquisite edge of those before and held his breath as he waited for more.

"Slut," Jared said with malicious delight. He reached down and stroked Jensen twice, before releasing him. "Suffer." He sat back and just stared at Jensen's body, wondering at how beautiful he was. Not that he would break character and tell Jensen. He may not have been up on the stage again, being wildly applauded as Jensen had, but he still knew how to act.

Jensen arched into the touch as best he could, wanting and needing more. He felt the bed shift when Jared moved, knew his lover was still close, even if he did not touch him. It was heady, being blind and unable to predict what was to come and from where. "Sir?" he asked, softly, not wanting to disturb the night.

"Sir," Jared mocked. He took one of Jensen's nipples between his index finger and thumb and squeezed, slowly increasing the pressure and adding a hint of nail. "Don't think you can get out of this by being deferential now, boy."

"No," Jensen moaned, head rolling on the pillow. "Sorry, Sir...no." He tugged at his bonds, body responding easily to Jared.

Jared smiled at the helpless thrashing and Jensen's obvious arousal. He pinched hard, nails biting the sensitive flesh, before bending down to bite. "I'm going to take you, boy."

Jensen keened, before biting at his own lip to muffle the noise. He wanted to keep himself from responding, not give his captor the satisfaction of knowing how he enjoyed much of his torture, but it was to no avail.

Jared smacked Jensen's face hard enough to sting. "Do not steal your pleasure from me." He stroked over the red mark on Jensen's face. "I would hate to have to permanently damage such a lovely thing."

Jensen's head turned from the slap, momentarily stunning him into complete silence. Jensen acknowledged Jared's words with a whimper and a nodded. "I will not. I promise."

Jared settled between the splayed thighs and ran his blunt fingernails all the way down Jensen's spread body. "Good. Very good." He rewarded the obedience by stroking Jensen a few more times, before releasing him again. "Convince me to give you what you want."

"Please," Jensen begged, finding his voice while his body arched and thrust into Jared's hand. The tease of those few strokes slowly drove Jensen out of his mind and knowing that he could do nothing about it was even more intoxicating.

Jared spanked the side of Jensen's ass twice, hard with the flat of his right hand. "You call that begging?" he demanded in an angry hiss. "You deserve nothing for that effort."

"Oh!" Jensen writhed on the bed, his voice hoarse. "Please, Sir...I need to come, please. It hurts, and I want it so badly. Sir, please." He rattled off the words, writhing against the bonds and straining for Jared's touch, any touch.

The response surprised Jared, but he smiled and rained more blows on Jensen's unprotected ass. "You want it, do you?" he asked. "Why should I give it you?" He stilled the writhing man and blew warm air over Jensen's cock. "What will you do to deserve it?"

"Anything," Jensen gasped. "Anything you want from me." He trembled, trying to hold still for Jared since he was being calmed. Of course, Jensen felt anything but calm, wanting more than he ever had before. "Let me suck you, or you can fuck me, please!"

"Hmm, how about both?" Jared murmured. He straddled Jensen's chest and directed his cock to his lover's open, panting mouth. "Make me nice and wet, boy. This is all I plan to use when I take you."

Jensen flicked his tongue out the second he felt Jared's cock against his lips. The blindfold kept him from being able to judge Jared's movements, but he kept his mouth open and ready, licking and sucking when Jared pushed in. He moaned around the familiar cock, his own hardening even more.

Jared thrust a little less carefully than was his wont, judging if he went too hard by Jensen's responses. His lover seemed to enjoy every moment, especially when Jared went harder and faster than usual. "Suck me, boy," he hissed, fighting his own natural sounds of pleasure to stay in character. "Use that pretty mouth for what it was designed for."

Groaning under the assault, Jensen breathed when Jared pulled back and then sucked and licked for all he was worth when Jared slid in. His spit slicked Jared's cock and ran down his cheeks, as he did everything he could to please Jared.

When he felt he was as wet as possible, Jared pulled out of the warm mouth and slid between Jensen's legs again. He inwardly took a deep breath, unsure about his next move, before pushing himself into position against Jensen's ass. He hurriedly spit into his hand and pressed two fingers inside enough to loosen him up a little, but then pushed himself in.

Jensen cried out when he felt Jared split him open. The burn of only using saliva to ease the way was fierce and good. He pulled at the bonds on his legs, trying to lift them up and around Jared. The position he was in left him tighter and more closed off, so he could feel every inch of Jared.

Jared fought his way inside Jensen until he could push in no further. Bending down to sink his teeth into the join of Jensen's neck and shoulder, he held on for a moment while he felt his lover adjust. Finally letting go, he began a steady pace in and out on Jen. "So tight, boy. Such a slut."

"For you...all of me is for you." Jensen rolled his hips up and into Jared as best he could while Jared moved above him. With his legs bound to the bed, he could not move the way he wanted, could not push and force Jared to move harder and faster. All Jensen could do was offer himself up and hope Jared would take him.

Jared gritted his teeth and began to pound into Jensen, taking him with force and speed far beyond his personal preferences. "Yes, you are," he growled. "Mine for the asking. Mine for the taking. Mine to use however I want." He gripped Jensen's hips tightly, leaving bruises in the flesh, and ignored the cock straining between them.

Jensen took everything Jared gave him, wanting and craving it all. His body responded to Jared's, his cock throbbing and rubbing between them when Jared's cock slid over his sweet spot time and time again, driving Jensen out of his mind with desire and need.

Pulling out roughly a moment before his orgasm, Jared took himself in hand and stroked until he spilled his release all over Jensen's naked, sweaty torso. With a sated sigh, he relaxed back on his lower legs, leaving Jensen unsatisfied.

Jensen heaved a full-body shudder when he felt Jared's come landing and falling on his body. He moaned, writhing back and forth, a litany of pleas tumbling from his swollen lips and tears leaking to wet the blindfold.

Tears. Jared had made Jensen cry! Sick and ashamed of himself, he reached out and tenderly stroked Jensen's cock. "Don't cry, Jen," he soothed. "Come for me now."

The orgasm slammed through Jensen, his voice going hoarse when his body arched. Shaking and panting, Jensen tugged on his bonds, waiting to be able to curl up with Jared.

Jared watched while Jensen's release joined his own. He leaned forward and began to clean it up with his tongue. After making sure no trace remained, he carefully undid each of Jensen's bonds, ending with the blindfold. "Jen?"

"Jay." Jensen brought his arms down, watching them shake slightly when he brought one hand to cup Jared's cheek. "Thank you, my love. I know you do not enjoy this as I do, but thank you for giving this to me." He leaned up, eyes bright before his lashes slid down and he pressed a hot kiss to Jared's mouth.

Jared trembled while he traced over Jensen's body with careful fingers. "You enjoyed that?" he asked, even after the kiss.

"Oh yes, my Jared, it was perfect." Jensen smiled up at Jared, wriggling into his lover and wrapping both arms around him to keep him close. "I have no idea how I got so lucky to get a man like you."

"I hurt you," Jared breathed, reaching down to stroke between Jensen's legs and search for any damage. "I didn't even prepare you." He rubbed at a chafed wrist, before pressing a kiss to the mark.

"No, my love, you did not hurt me." Jensen curled his hand over Jared's face and pulled him back in for another kiss. "I did not need to be prepared, and you gave me nothing but pleasure."

Jared kissed him back with emotion. "You were crying," he said, choking on the words. "I made you cry, Jen."

Jensen cradled Jared to him, stroking down his back. "It was merely intense, my love. I was not crying from pain, only from the intensity of the pleasure."

Blowing out a deep breath, Jared buried his face in Jensen's neck. "I am glad you found pleasure, my own, but I fear I am not built for this kind of loving. Only by wrapping myself completely in character could I bear to treat you so harshly. And then when you cried, I was scared. Angry at myself."

Nodding at Jared, Jensen cuddled his lover to him and crooned softly into his hair. He could not bear the thought that Jared was so wrecked over something that gave him such pleasure. But, nor could Jensen be selfish and ask Jared to do anything that he was uncomfortable with. "I promise you, my Jared, that I took nothing but pleasure from everything you did for me. It was all what I wanted, but that does not mean that we ever have to do such things again."

Jared shook his head and kissed Jensen's neck, before biting down a little. "I know now that such things give you pleasure. I shall not deny you, my own."

"And I will not ask something of you that hurts your heart." Jensen slid his hand into Jared's hair and tugged his head back and up for a kiss, sweet and gentle. "There is so much more to our love."

Jared caressed Jensen's back and sides, loving the feel of warm, soft skin. "I shall know you enjoy it and no longer be hurt. You enjoyed being tied and at my mercy... the bites and the rough words?"

"Aye, my love. I do not think I have ever felt so much of you in me. I was stretched wide open around and full of you." Jensen blushed slightly at his own plain words, but wanted Jared to know how much it was welcomed.

Jared breathed out a deep sigh of relief and settled his head on the pillows, blinking slowly at Jensen. "I may not have been on the stage again, like you, but I hope my act was convincing."

Jensen chuckled and rolled until he was pressed to Jared again, his head coming to rest on his lover's shoulder. "Oh it was, quite so in fact." His eyes twinkled, but Jensen was serious about how in the moment he was.

Jared reached around and cupped Jensen's cock, gentle and protective. "You were beautiful, bound for my pleasure, but I wanted to worship you, not treat you like a slave."

"We can do both, then. One for each of us." Jensen wriggled again and buried his face in Jared's shoulder to cover a yawn.

Jared snorted and snuggled deeper. "Tis strange, my own, that I wish to treat you like a God, while you wish to be treated like property."

"Your property, as I belong to you, the whole of myself." Jensen kissed Jared's shoulder. "Can we sleep now? Tomorrow is Saturday, and I want a lie in with you."

Jared nodded and tightened his arms around Jensen. "Whatever you desire, Jen."

Jensen wriggled into the embrace and let out a sigh. "I love you, my Jared. I shall cook you a large meal to break your fast on the morrow."  
~~~~~~~~~

Jensen smiled out at the audience, bowing to the applause ringing through their little theater. He turned and reached for Jared's hand, pulling him to Jensen's side when they took another bow. With a wave of his hand, Jensen smiled at Jared and then tugged him back to the little permanent dressing room Jared had built and shut the door behind them. "Another rousing success, my Jared." Jensen put his hands on Jared's hips and kept him close.

Jared laughed and leaned against Jensen and the door. "All for you, my own. They never tire of seeing you, no matter how oft you perform for them." He pressed a kiss to Jensen's forehead and shut his eyes to enjoy the moment of peace.

Letting himself absorb Jared's touch, Jensen sighed and closed his eyes. He could only take a minute before he was required to be in the pub and helping out with the bar. It was a luxury to have someone to help these days, but Jensen still liked to be hands on. "Can you believe," he murmured, "that we have opened and run this place for three years now? After two years of construction, I never thought we'd get here."

Jared laughed and fingered one of the strands of gray now woven into his hair. "Well, I certainly aged trying to make this place what you wanted," he said. "I thought you would never be done altering." He sighed and pressed his mouth to Jensen's forehead. "Must you go back to the bar tonight? Let Henry hold his own for once."

"Hmmm, we both must go out for a bit. Tonight was the last night of our run and you know people will want to see us." Jensen pulled back and tilted Jared's head down for a gentle kiss. "But I shall promise you here that I will let Henry fend for himself tonight. Once we have made our rounds, we can go up to bed."

Jared laughed and squeezed Jensen tighter. "'Tis amusing to think that since we met all those years ago, you have become the one who wishes to mingle with the crowds, and I the one who wants nothing more than to disappear into my room."

"That is because you have me to disappear with." Jensen chuckled and turned them so he had Jared pressed into the door. "This is our place, Jared. It is safe for me and for us. I never enjoyed the public before because I was never comfortable. You are my foundation."

Jared gazed into Jensen's eyes with gentle fondness. "What shall you do when I am gone?" he murmured, before kissing Jensen again.

Jensen tightened his grip on Jared, growling in his throat. "You are going nowhere without me, my love. Not even into death, so do not think about that let alone speak of it."

The growl sent a shiver through Jared, and he pressed a kiss to Jensen's nose. "Yes, my lord." He leaned against the wood with a small sigh, gathering his energy. "Every year, this part becomes harder. I used to be so energized for the crowds after we got off the stage... I must be getting old." He smiled teasingly at Jensen, but his expression turned serious in an instant. "I think perhaps this is the last time I shall perform, my own."

"How is it that you grow old before me, my love?" Jensen whispered the question into Jared's skin when he leaned in for a tighter embrace. "I shall miss you upon the stage if you truly are not interested in performing again. Had I but known that would be the case, I should have picked another show. I should have ended our run together with _Romeo and Juliet_." He pressed into Jared and dropped gentle kisses on the column of his throat.

Jared threaded his fingers in Jensen's thick hair and pulled him up for a kiss. "I have been a laborer for many years. And why do you say I am uninterested? I just do not know that I have another performance left in me." He laughed at the idea of being Romeo and Juliet again. "We are perhaps a bit long of tooth for teenage lovers."

Jensen kissed Jared long and deep. "I do not care if we are a bit old, that is what cosmetics and costume are for. You shall forever be Romeo, my Jared. The one who could steal my heart with a glance and a sweet word."

"My bounty is as deep as the sea, My love as deep; the more I give to thee, The more I have, for both are infinite." Jared nuzzled Jensen's nose and then released him. "For you, perhaps, I might one more time don the garb and face of Romeo and give the town a treat to remember us by."

"Now, that would surely be a treat, for them and for us. I would like that my love. I shall speak with John and William, have them plan that for their stop in town next year. You and I shall get up on that final night in our best roles ever." Jensen stepped in for a quick kiss and then moved back to change out of his costume and strip off the cosmetics. He was looking forward to next year, but was in no rush for it to arrive. Jensen was content to enjoy every single day he shared with Jared.


End file.
